Who's Life is It?

That's the big question.  Of course it is mine, but it seems like it is my debt collectors.  As long as I owe people, the money I make isn't mine.  With that being said, I have hit the ground running paying of all of these student loan bills. 

This is really a big time in my life.  Having this 3 year old that I am responsible for and wanting more for me life has added a push o my life.  There are many things that I have accomplished, but there is so much more.  

Paying things off is a priority.  What's funny is that I have extra money to put toward my debt, that I didn't realize I had before.  Maybe my mindset has changed who knows?

Things are getting better, and I truly see that!  Now, to put things in action and continue to do right by my money, myself, time, and others.  

The Road to Financial Freedom
Fed Loan                         3006.72  August 200 a month
Allied Account Services  6372 Walden University 50 a month 
Navient                         11,420.16 payment arrangement 200 until meet original debt (these debts are combined)
                                    12,297.98  payment arrangement 200 until meet original debt
Fed Loan                      71,066.74   service loan forgiveness  60 (these debts are combined to be paid for 10 years and loan will be forgiven)
                                    115,655.08  

All together, about 500 a month I'm paying to eliminate this debt.  Much of this needs to be
paid off in order for me to move.  Which I'm truly looking forward to.  Will not have extreme 
mortgage payment.  No longer will I be a victim to debt.    

As you see, I have the most student loan debt.  With that being said, paying off these debts 
makes me feel like I can do anything.  When a debt has been paid, I feel a sense of relief.  One thing down and a few more to go.  

Having all of this debt has really made me feel like a loser, failure, and inadequate.  When my credit is looked at people say, "You really don't have bad credit, if you didn't have those student loans."  That's the truth.  I have several student loans, which have been consolidated.  I left out the loans that are prior to 1998, this will allow me to qualify for Teacher Loan Forgiveness.  

The sad thing is I really didn't have much time to complete my PhD.  I am everything, but my dissertation.  This where all of the debt came into play.  I've contacted Walden, but I know regardless, the 6372 must be paid off before school is even thought about.  What I'm thinking is close to 15000 is needed in order for me to get back n and complete my PhD.  

During my depressive state, completing my PhD was not an option.  Completely decided that I didn't deserve it, it wasn't worth it, and what is the point.  In my previous life, I never liked for things to be incomplete.  And here we are!  

Once I got over myself and things started looking up, the thought came that I am totally worth it.  

Positive Things
Vanguard Account
Valic
Ally
Digit
Roth IRA
Traditional IRA
Personal Capital 

In all honesty, things really aren't that bad.  I can take care of myself and my baby, so we are good.

Celebrations
Started back making candles (Betty's Only)
My health is better, taking Nature Throid instead of Synthroid
Changed my lifestyle
Interacting more
Taking piano lessons
Jekyll Island
Hot Yoga class
Chucky Cheese
Swim lessons
Paying off debt
He's happy and healthy

Working on myself is the best thing I can do for everyone!  Once, I put myself first things started changing for the better.  Honestly, I take things personal and that prevents me from interacting for real, but overall, I am good.  Let me rephrase that, we are good!
              

Dripping Like a Running Nose

There have been many things going on:
Baby Showers
House Warming
Many other gift giving events

For me:
Fascia board replaced
Tree Limbs removed off back of house
mother's day gifts several
dropped my phone again today

Credit score dropped.  I did get a refund from the bank issue.  Life happens as always.  I'm a worrier and this baby has only made it worse.  My emotions are all over the place.  Maybe it's the baby, maybe it's my thyroid, maybe it's my life.  I don't know, but regardless, I have to get it under control.

Cutting into my savings, I am almost at $1000, that's not good.  Now, I need to replace that money that was taken out.  It's going to take time to make that happen.  Been seriously thinking about selling Liam.  That money could go to paying off Marybelle.  In the meantime, Marybelle is having issues.  That's crazy still paying off the car and having issues with it.

As of today, no more money coming out.  Unless, it has to do with food or an emergency comes up.  Also, tithes.  Things will be fine, I don't believe that all the time, but I know it will.

Next steps
Flooring fixed
Another tree limbs cut down
Bulb replaced and cover on Marybelle

Overall, I am glad that I have been able to handle all of the responsibilities.  Having this baby has made me view life much differently.  I'm able to take care of him and my other obligations as well.  I am so thankful.  I could not have ever imagined that this would be my life, but it's mine and I love it.

I will be fine!

Almost a Year Later

There have been many things that have happened in my life.  To go back a few years ago, I found out I had thyroid cancer, cured, and this year, actually a few days ago I had a little boy.  So happy about that.  How does this deal with finances you may ask.  Well, I had to pay for the delivery, not the entire amount, but my co-pay which was close to 2,000 up front.  While in the hospital bed, this matter had to be satisfied.

The summer months
In my opinion, the summer months tend to be the hardest for me, why?  I don't know.  A lot of mismanagement of money.  I got Liam fixed that was 1,200, the check bounced.  Didn't do it on purpose.  The house on Oneal Street, put it on HAP, that was a great decision, but the deposit soon went.  Had to go into money I had saved to pay for the total cost of repairs.

Right now, I am overdrawn in my account close to 500, so that money will be gone when I get paid.  It's one thing after another it always seems.  On top of bills, I have to get my tags.  Last year, my mom get my tags for me.  This has to be done.  Another thing, I have to give my mom the money back for the delivery of the baby.  Not to mention, I am still in school, yes, I am!  Two terms behind to total 5000.  It seems I can't win for losing.  Don't know what I do wrong.  It's not like I just spend unnecessarily.

On another note, Liam still needs more work.  Don't think I want to drive Marybelle because that deals with switching gears.  I will not be able to drive for another 5 weeks.   My credit score will not go above 600 for some reason.

Blessings
I had the most awesome baby shower and didn't have to buy anything except a crib and 2 dressers.  I got everything and that is a huge blessings.  Also, one of my dear friends has a little boy.  She gave me a car seat.  The other day she came with several bags of clothes.  That is money saved.  Will not have to buy him anything for a while.  Maybe not until it gets cold.  So excited and thankful for all of the blessings.  I also got several gift cards.  Since I have exhausted all of my funds, did I mention I had to use the money from the baby shower to help with the house on Oneal.  Another thing, I was able to get a Navy Federal account, the money I had there is gone too.  Having the gift cards has really come in handy.  For that I'm thankful.

It's not that Bad
When it seems things are bad, I have to take a step back and count my blessings.  Life moves forward and in the bed, there's always something good.

Future Plans
Make sure I'm the best mom I can be for this baby.  Looking into getting another job, something online.  Also, I stay in the hood and my neighbors are super nosy, that has nothing to do with it, but I am moving my year of 40.  That will be next year, so within the year of 2015-16, I will move from my home.  I know what HAP is looking for and that is the route I plan on taking.  Previously, I wanted to have my own home built by 40, but now I want to move into a 4 bedroom, 2+ bathroom, 2 car garage, and a fireplace.  This house needs to be in a better neighborhood.  In order to do that save money for that and for the baby.  Also, work on my credit score.

It's almost a year since I have written here and I remember that I loved doing this.  Work with me, for I'm a work in progress.  Life continues to move and I am not doing the same things, but life continues to move forward regardless.  Not going to make any promises, but I will continue to use this to see the changes that have been made.  Another thing Marybelle is 17 months before she'll be paid off.  On that note, that will save 400 a month.  I tried to refinance my home and was unable to due to being late at the end of last year.  That sucks.  I can try again in September.  One thing after another.  My car note and house come close to 1000 a month, that really needs to change and quick.  Once Marybelle is paid off that money can go to something else.

Work with me I'm still learning.  Mind you, there's a baby in the mix now.  Save money for his future, plus, money in case of emergencies.  My tax refund goes to previous debt, but that money is gone now.  What I never do is pay house note or car not.  Thinking next year, I'll pay 2 to 3 months of car note and continue to pay on it monthly.  That'll help me pay Marybelle off sooner.  Medical bills seem to be an issue too.  Tired of getting bills, it just seems that there's never enough money and time to get things done.

I'll be just fine.  I'm learning and that's all I can do.  Thank you for reading, will try not to be done so long!