Reviewing Things

As I think about my life I am truly blessed.  I am still here.  Once upon a time I had this spirit that would do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, that girl left.  Where she went, I don't know.  The thing that is crazy are the decisions that I made really weren't the best.  True, what goes up most come down, that I completely understand.

Bad decisions
Liam should have been sold a long time ago, now I don't know if I'll be able to get rid of him.
Marybelle, it rains in her, I can't use the key to unlock the door, and now my seats will not move.
My house, in a neighborhood that's all I say, cost to much, interest rate high

On the other hand, I was able to do all of these things.  Now that 40 is coming fast, I feel that there are several things I should have done, but didn't do.  It's not the best feeling.  One thing I can say is I have learned from my mistakes and all I can do is try to make them better.

It's the summer time and there are things I want to do.
Laingley's 1st birthday party
take a trip in July
get house together
take a mommy and me swim class
take him to the beach

All of this takes money, did I mention that I dropped my phone again.  It never fails, there is always something.  On a brighter note, I do feel better about myself.  I've decided to do the things that I have failed to do.  For instance, take a drawing class.  I also want to take sign language.

I'm taking one day at a time, that's all I can do.  Tomorrow isn't promised I know, but I have to make the most of it.  I've gotten over myself and I must stay that way.  

Never Could I Ever

Never would I have thought my life would be like this.  Single mother, living in the hood, foreclosure, car issues.  Never would I have thought this would be my life, well it is.  Things could be worse, but my choices have led me to this point in my life.  Letting go of people and situations can and will make my life much better.  Getting through it seems to be the issue.  No, it doesn't feel good.  How can I make it better.  Pray, not hold on to the past, forgive myself and let live.  All of these things are easier said than do.  I've paid off two things that have appeared on my credit report one was for $80 and the other $58.  I'm glad that I'm able to handle these debts.

Now, the student loans, the are really a bother.  I wasn't saying that when my schooling was being paid for.  Don't want this for my son.  It's truly crazy.  The lowest loan is for $1794 and the highest is $16,987.  I owe more than $150,000 in student loans.  I said it and I probably said it before.  This is awful.

In the meantime, I want to save $100,000 in a fifteen years.  In order to do that I must save $555.55 a month to total 6,666.67 a year.  Can this be done?  I think so, it's a matter of doing what's right and not falling short of that.  No extras.  At the same time, I have this debt that must be paid off.

Something that is good is my car will be paid off by the end of the year.  That means an extra $450 will be added to my monthly income.  I'm excited about that.  Will I get another car note?  No, not anytime soon.  That money will go to paying these student loans off.  Still I need to see where I can cut a few more corners.  Where there's a will there's a way.

Determination, motivation, self-support and love all need to be my friends.  I am down on myself because of my past decisions, but overall, I am somebody that had hopes and dreams.  Something along the way has snuffed those out.  I will not be that person, I will get back on it.  There are things that need to be done and in order to do them I have to get in a better place

New Year 2015, What's it Going to Be?

It's time to move and gets things going.  Still making unnecessary mistakes.  One thing is no more debt, no more debt, no more debt.

I have used creditkarma.com to help me get my credit in order below is the list of debt that I can pay off in the next few months:
Merchants AD  58
Med Data Sys  132
MEA  139
1st Premier  173
JC Penney's  191
Credburserv  200
Rec Mgt Grp 348
Marybelle  (little car) 5,058/12=421.50
State Tax Lien  8,743 (has to be paid in full)

Merchants AD, Med Data Sys, and MEA will be paid off at the end of the month.  MEA has direct deposit.  Once that is paid, I'll add another 75 to Marybelle's payment so that will make her be paid off sooner than it should.  I'm tired of the debt.  I've made many bad financial choices over the years.  Now that I have a little boy, my decisions will not only affect me, but him too.  I don't want him to have the financial issues that I have.

The above numbers are just the beginning of my debt.  There are several student loans that don't seem to be going anywhere.  I'm tired of getting phone call after phone call from my student loans.  Don't have the money to pay the late payment in full.  One sad thing after another.  By the end of the year my credit score should be above 600.

Also, I'll be 40 in August and I want to move.  Tired of my neighbors it's so sad!  So many things are happening and I don't know where to start.  One more thing, I started a Christmas account for 50 a month.  This will help me get it together and prepare for the holidays for my baby and others.  Plus, I want to do things with him that I didn't do growing up.  We need to go on a big vacation once a year, he and I together.  I also need to have my own vacation without him.

There's no clarity or focus, I have not.  Then another thing came to mind.  Do I want him to get a degree because if he gets a degree that means he'll be working for someone for the rest of his life.  Wow, decisions.

Since I'm an older mom, I'll be able to retire by the time my baby is 16, go figure.  The right things I didn't do before I need to do now.  I've been looking on Pinterest finding ways to put money up.  The next thing is to file my taxes and do right by the money that I receive.  Pay some things off, get ahead on my mortgage.  Did I mention I'm a month behind on my mortgage and car note.  The story never ends.

Time keeps moving, I'm getting older, and debt keeps being an issue for me.  Something has to give.

It's My Life

Looking back over my life, I have had a wonderful one.  Full of ups and downs, but I guess that is what life is composed of.  I remember making plans and some coming to reality and others falling by the way side.  Through it all things have been great.  Sicknesses, losses, life, death, overcoming and moving forward.  Not holding on to things makes it hard, but much easier to cope.

Making plans to retire by 20 and have a PhD, have they been my reality.  No, they haven't.  Is it due to fault of my own, why, yes. I'll admit, things haven't turned out how I've wanted them to or expected, but I'm here to tell the story.

I've come to terms with not being able to afford my PhD.  Exhausting my financial aid, I'm not able to afford school anymore.  Plus, there are other things that are more important than obtaining that degree.  Even though, I've always wanted to have D. R. period in the front of my name, since I was in junior high school.  I've wondered since I started the program what I would do with it once I finished.  To be honest, I think I was afraid to complete it.  Being in the program since 2005.  This seemed to be something I just couldn't finish, for whatever reason.  Afraid, I'll say this has been the one thing that I haven't been able to complete and get off my back.  At one point, I felt like a failure, but now, I have just let go.

Having a baby and being a cancer survivor has made me look at life in a totally different perspective.  Life is intricate.  One minute your here, the next you're gone.  What is it all worth?  The things we deem important sometimes aren't.  So, I'm looking at doing things a little different.  I understand that many things are out of our control, but overall, you have to put God first in everything you do.

Things I'm going to do different
18 months left on Marybelle, put 100-200 extra on my 450 payment (this will allow car to be paid off in 12-14 months)
Oneal Street on HAP, 1 year lease
Get baby an account, put 100 in his account monthly for the next 18 years.  Find an account that will earn a decent interest rate
Pay off Walden
Get student loans under control
Prepare to move from Fisk (4 bedroom/2 bath fireplace and 2 car garage) it's time to get out of the hood
Put any extra money in my account (save 50-200 a month)
Start preparing for winter for baby (get ahead of things, before I know it he'll be 1 years old)
Stop wasting money and do better overall

There have been many things that have occurred in my life and I look at things so different.  It's time to make a change and do it for the better.  What is it all worth?  I don't want to have any regrets.  I have done many things that I may not be proud of, but through it all I have overcome.  Having this baby makes things seem so clear.  Maybe I'm a little more emotional than I've been before, but I know I have to do better for him to have a good life.

It seems that I can't get ahead and that there is a financial curse on me.  I don't know, but somewhere things have got to be different.  All I can do is live me life and do the best I can.

Learning From Every Post

There have been gains as far as My Financial Success is concerned. Every post tends to be different. Overall, this blog is about what steps I take to achieve financial freedom. The journey has been long and hard and I feel that I have grown every day. It takes time and dedication to grow from your own mistakes and to learn from what others have done.

Right now, I am at a block. To do this or to do that. Peggy has been giving me some sound advice. Growth is something that I am doing and I have to build to just say no to somethings. For instance, I know I can watch tv on the Internet, but to actually get rid of cable, that is going to take some time. I did get rid of HBO and Cinemax, keeping Showtime, Sundance, Starz, and Encore. Thinking really hard about getting rid of another channel. The phone is another issue, having the Internet and phone in a bundle has given me features that come along with the packet. Caller ID, comes in handy. Getting rid of call waiting, three way, and all the other things will save me money two. My phone bill may just be under $25.00 a month cutting those features.

Sometimes I get confused on what is more important. Here are the challenges that I face financially. Background history, two loans from undergraduate school have not been paid in full. They are in deferment until January 2011 (anticipated graduation date Walden University). Since I work at a low income school, I qualify for teacher loan forgiveness program. Due to having loans prior to October 1998 the money can not be taken off. Hence my wanting to get these loans paid off so my post graduate loans can be relieved.

Now that the tax lien has reared its ugly head, which is more important?

Wachovia: $2,680.57

Tax Lien: $5,927.42

US Dept. of Education: $13,402.56

The quicker I pay them off the quicker I can do other things. Maybe this is what I will do. Instead of paying $200.00 a month on Wachovia, I will be $500.00 a month of the tax lien. Wachovia will receive $100 and the US Dept of Education will get $25.00 monthly. More will be paid on Wachovia and the tax lien as I make more money. The tax lien and Wachovia will be done for by December 09.

What is important tends to take the back burner to things that hold no relevance to my life. It is so easy to loss sight of the main thing. This month was one of them. There are only 9 weeks to my vacation and I have wasted almost 3 of them. Relaxing, getting confused, and not doing a thing has me feeling lackadesic. The real estate bug has biten me again. Properties are out there waiting to be purchased and rented out.

Back to the debts. I am going to pay the minimum on the student loans and put the lump sum on the tax lien. I have to get what I want for me. Having the lien paid for will allow me other opportunties. Working extra, selling candles, and tutoring will support paying off debt. It will be done.

Right now, I feel anxious ready to make things happen. Taking one day at a time and doing what I can with what I have will help. Things will work themselves out. It takes me to always be ontop of my money and put it to good use.