Bumps in the Road

As long as you live, there will be bumps in the road.  Many times it is done because you aren't living right.  Other times, to make you aware of the changes that need to be made.  In my world, patience has been working on me for some time now.  I said it a while ago, that there is a young lady that is trying to get out.  She is her, but things are not as they should be.  Not for real.

As I stated before, I get close and something tends to happen.  I guess that is the thing we call life.  So there has to be major adjustments made.  Something has happened that has made me rethink things.  First, I need to find another place to stay.  That is one of the steps and second, it needs to be cheaper than what I pay now.

As you probably remember, my credit has taken a downside and have been working toward making it better.  In my mind there is no clarity.  There is chaos in most of my thoughts.  Nothing is clear and it seems I can't seem to focus on anything.

To be honest, the devil has made me feel some kind of way.  That is because I am probably on the verge of a major break thorough.  One thing is for sure, I am thankful because out of bad does come good.  This has taught me that I need to be more secure and even though I am from that area, it is time for me to move on.

Today, I will look at other options on how I can get things better and move toward being this better person.  Yes, it did make me sad, but things could have gone in a different direction.  I am better and things will be better.

My situation is not that bad, but it is mine!  No one can take that away from me.

Issues:
behind one month on mortgage due to paying for Walden
Sallie Mae behind
Walden owe can't get back in school until I pay for previous term
Liam hose fixed and flat tire

Tired of always being on the losing end.  When will I finally get it together?

I'm Only Human

It seems that things always look good and life happens.  I can't seem to win for losing.  I'm overdrawn again in my account.  There's money in other accounts, but I can't touch that cash.  There are several financial issues that I am having right now.  Overall, I have a roof over my head and I have my health. Regardless, my finances are not like I they should be.

Every time I get ahead, I seem to mess something up.  I have cut back, no cable, no eating out, no this, no that.  I can't seem to get it right!

I'm almost at the end of my educational journey and here it goes again.  Exhausted all of my financial aid.  Took out a personal student loan.  Didn't realize that the rules didn't apply to loans being deferred if still in school.  Due to this, I am behind and my mother co-signed for me and this has lowered my credit score and hers too.  Constant phone calls, emails, it's bothersome!  I paid for school and didn't pay mortgage.  Now, I'm behind on everything.  

 When I get paid, I'm already overdrawn in that account.  So very sad!  The more I try, it seems the further I fall behind.  The story of my life it seems!  

 September's Check

mortgage, car note, t-mobile, Walden University, travel for 2 nights, tags, tickets

Take every day one at a time and do what I can with what I have.  Whenever I try to save, something always seems to happen.

Another thing, I have no motivation to get the things done that I need to.  So very sad, the more I try, the more things tend to happen.  Complaining, no I'm not, venting is the correct term to use.

All I want is to have money for the things that I want to do.  I want to be able to have money for my bills and anything extra that I want or need.  Really all of my needs are met and I am happy, don't get me wrong!  Tired of falling short and not having the things that I need, that would be called a struggle.  I feel I'm too old to be having these issues.   No, I don't have children and it may be a blessing that I don't because I can't seem to get it together.

Future Plans
Save enough money to buy another house
Get my house together
Sell candles
Be motivated to get things done
Remove carpet replace with tile or wood, cheaper would be the tile

Stop Complaining 
 Life is good, I have my health
Continue to pay off debt
Get caught up with bills
work on getting the house straight
put up a few dollars monthly and don't pull from it

Learn as I go and work things out.  It will get better!  Continue to do what I can with what I have! 

It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

Yes, I have been spending money.  No, it's been on need things.  Not all of it, but there are things I have gotten done.  For instance, I got the beams in the front on the house replaced.  That was really needed.  I haven't been cooking haven't felt like it.  There's something going on, and I don't know what it is.  I am not comfortable in my house and looking forward to being just that comfortable. 

My credit score has dropped lower than it what.  I do believe that it will be a quick fix.  Last year, I took out a personal loan to pay for school being that I have exhausted all chances of financial aid.  I am currently still in school and this should (I hope be deferred).  Once that is handled the score will go back up. 

There are several debts that have been paid off.  Now that there is no financial aid for me, I have to pay for school on my own.  It's really not that bad, but $2,000 every 4 months is alright.  At the same time pay off debt as well as eliminate it.  We will see how this cookie is going to crumble. 

Walden $2,500 per term June-September
mortgage $650
Roku (Netflix and Hulu Plus) $ 21.00
TMobile $150
Charter $65
Water
Power
Gas
$650 on credit report
medical $1064

It seems that the more you cut back, the more comes your way.  I have no more cable, disconnected several things that I didn't need.  I've been selling things are Craigslist and using that money to pay off a debt.  I even bought a piggy bank and that change goes toward debt.  I have said it before and will continue to as long as I am not financially stable.  As long as I owe, the money I make isn't mine.  Of course, I must sustain myself, but the excessive spending has to stop somewhere.  In the meantime, continue to grow in comfort in my home. 

Did I mention:
Hose on Liam, heavy noise
Marybelle  new tires

It's always something.  That's what one would call living!  There are still several things that could be sold and I will continue to do that.  I did sell a box spring and mattress today.  So things are working themselves out. 

I also thought that I have been teaching for 14 years coming up and it's time that I decide what the next few years are going to bring. 

I can only Go Up

My credit scores range from 506-561.  I am working on paying off all the things that I can.  For instance, there are 4 outstanding accounts that need to be paid.  I have a thought, I have money that I don't want to spend, but let build, borrow off of that money and pay it off.  Continue to save and put the money where it is most needed.  

There has been some excessive spending here and there, but if I continue to cook, that will help me save some cash.  I purchased a ledger, this should help me keep up with all of my finances.  I can make this work.  

Order for taking care of these bills, I sent in $200 today, the final payment will be mailed by the end of this month.  The total cost is $464.

Directv $464

ADT    $1064

Medical $900

Medical $574

Pay $200 everything month until they are all paid off.  I did pay for my braces, no more payments on that.  I paid for 2 months of storage.  Not paying that bill after the end of this month.  I have to do right by my finances.  Plus, the property management is working out.  The place has been rented out.  All extra monies, put in a good place.  I did sign up to do a outside yard sell.  This will give me a chance to sell the candles, but the weather really looks bad.  

I must not do wrong by the money, I keep saying that.  I don't want to end up with nothing to show for what I had.  I know I waste much, but I can't continue to do that.  Overall, I feel good about where I am going and what is going on.  

Things I've gotten rid of

Directv               140 a month

Caller Tunes

Braces paid in full  100 a month

Ancestry.com  

Things I need to get rid of

Wireless card 

Anyway that I can cut corners I will try, the only reason I haven't gotten rid of the home line is that it's connected to my security system.  

Plus, I am going to take some time off from school and Sallie Mae has been calling and calling.  Majority of my debt is student loans.  When looking at my credit report, I really don't have bad debt.  I do have a credit card with a $300 limit.  Paying off the above debts would help my score much.  My goal is to have at least a 650 credit score by the end of the year.  I do believe that can be done if I keep putting money where it should be.  As long as I owe, the money I make is not mine.  In my mind, when I get ready to spend put that money toward a debt.  

Paying off debt is very important to me and it may get obsessive.  Have to have something to worry over.  

Bills that I pay

mortgage

water

power

gas

Netflix

Hulu2

TMobile

The money that is left over should go to debt.  Did I mention I am going on a trip this summer.  I have to get this paid for soon.  

I haven't been the best financial planner, I know, but I can and will handle this issue.  

Here It Is

Things have been working out pretty well.  First, 1010 is rented out.  Good job!  There are little issues with the property, but they are getting fixed.  For instance, there's a hole under the sink, the heater grate needs to be replaced, and the gas meter has been pulled due to a leak.  Now, I have to find a certified plumber to fix it. 

3210 is empty, thank you for that.  There are a few things that need to be fixed and I'm going to get them fixed this week.  I have to go to court to get the rest of the money they owe from 3210.  That's a part of the job that I don't like. 

The issues have been eating out, that is where majority of the spending is done.  I'm trying to work on that.  I had a large amount of money to come in from working the morning lab and Saturday School.  Having a second job within the first one is good.  Making sure I do right by the money is the whole thing. 

There are doctors bills that I have and need to be paid so they don't end up on my credit report.  Checked my credit score and they are awful, the only choice I have is to go up.  Continue to pay off outstanding medical bills that are sitting and build credit.  I have automatic draft for all bills except the water.  Continue to save and put the money in the right place.  Looking to get a secured loan on 1,000.  What could I do with that money?  Pay off a large bill, I did get settlements for a couple of them.  Pay them off and not get anymore debt. 

The whole purpose of this blog is for me to get out of debt and it seems I do while for a moment and something happens.  I can't continue to sabatoge myself, that seems to be what I'm good at.  Falling for the set up.  The money that I'm spending on food could pay off a few bills.  That money put it toward the debt.  Instead of eating out, pay a bill. 

Questioning do I want to continue to live here?  A note was in my door, it was crazy.  Trying to live her until 40, let's see how that goes.   Can't continue to slight myself, I tend to be good at that.  I don't know what my future plans are and that's the problem I'm having getting out of school.  What do I do?  Financial Aid is exhausted.  Had to take out a personal loan for nothing because I haven't made any adequate gains.  Feel like giving up, but I've come to far.  What do I do with this degree?  I don't know.  What do I want to be when I grow up?  I don't know.  I've been teaching for 13 years, will I be a 50 year old business education teacher? 

Where do I go from here?  I love making candles and doing this real estate thing, they both bring me joy.  Have a d r period, in the front of my name has always been a dream of mine.  Will it be a dream deffered?  At this point, my mind is tired of thinking about school.  Once the decision is made there's no turning back. 

Decisions that need to be made
What are my future plans?  3 years, 5 years, 10 years from now
Do I want to continue to stay here?  For how long
What kind of career do I want? 
How will I acquire more properties?
What do I see myself doing?
How can I bring more happiness into my life?
Put the main thing first.
Buckle down and do what's right
Let the new me come out

This year has been filled with experiences and things I will never forget.  I have something that I am sitting on and I'm excited about it.  First, I don't want to let it go.  Do right by the money I have.  All bills are paid and life is getting better.  I'm learning about myself and realizing that everything is going to be alright.  Make sure I do what's right and just and most of all put the money in the right place and don't blow it. 

There's so much to say and I don't know where to start.  My personality is different and overall, I try to stay out of everybodies way if I can.  I have a spirit of expression.  I don't try it just comes out, but I want people to see me.  I said it, see me, here me, notice me, something.  I've been told my spirit is free.  I do want I want because that's what I want to do, not because this is what people are doing.  I'm my own self.  Right now, at a crossroads and don't know which way to go.  I feel like I'm maturing in so many respects, well have matured.  Things that many get upset about doesn't bother me.  Why because life goes on.  I learn, listen and move on. 

Not knowing what's going on or having a plan has caused me to be in school for this long.  No ultimate goal, well, that is to graduate, but no plan after graduation.  Is being a middle school business education teacher my end result?  No disrespect to those, but that seems so mandane, like there's more to lif than that.  Am I lazy?  Looking for a job is hard and waiting.  That another story within itself.  I guess I know the answer to my question, continue to look and apply to different jobs and that's the only way I will get another one.  Can't expect one to fall in my lap. 

Mid-life is serious especially when your learning and don't have a typical life.  As always thank you for reading. 

Fear Sets In

Things have been moving forward and I have been putting my money to good use.  I got my tax return and I have paid off many outstanding bills.  Those bills that were $50-$200, it feels good, but I am afraid that I will not have anything to show for the money that I have received.  I want to do different this year with my tax return.  Not believing in myself seems to be an issue.  I am looking forward to positive results and making my credit score move up.  It has nowhere else to go, but up.  That's for real.  I have set many goals and am making them work. 

There is a goal that I have made, that took some of the money I had away.  Also, I have had to make some adjustments in my clothes.  That is more money that has gone to upgrade my wardrobe, so that is worth it.  I have also been eating out.  Ran out of groceries so that leaves me to eat out.  Not a good choice, but it is what it is.  All bills have been paid, need to change where my power bill goes, it still goes to my mothers house.  That's an issue too.  Another thing, I have set up automatic draft for most of my bills, I need to do that with my power bill and my water if that is an option. 

It feels good to look in my account and see all of the money that I have saved.  Now to not blow it.  There are some things that I need to get, but they will help me to become a better person.  What will I do when I grow up?  Where will I go?  What will be my position in life?  Will I complete this program?  Do I want to have a leadership degree?  Will I stay in the classroom for my entire career?  These are all questions that I want to know the answer to, but I will wait to find out.  I will continue to put my best foot forward, grow in walk with God, and do what I can to make things better. 

I am doing property manangement for a house around the street.  I have posted it on socialserve.com and I think it should be rented by the end of the month.  This is dealing with those on government assistance so that is money that is coming regardless.  Now as far as the other house, they have to go.  Tired of trying to get you to pay something you know you need to pay.  I went ahead and filed for an eviction.  Everytime I do this, it makes me feel some kind of way.  Like I really don't want to, but I have no choice.  It is part of the game. 

Looking at my life there have been some ups and downs and for the most part I have survived them all.  Learning as I go and trying to make the best of it.  As for school, I have received a specialist degree, now what about this paper that I have to write.  I have been in the program for a very long time and it doesn't seem like it will ever end.  I know I can't compare myself to others, but for real, it is time to move on to something else.  Looking at my future plans, I know and have always known, I don't want to be in the classroom forever.  There were plans I made that didn't come to fruition, but that wasn't what God wanted for me.  Sometimes, he will bring you to it, but not through it because it wasn't for you.  That is something that I have had to realize in my life. 

Things are moving forward and it's because I have made some adequate changes in my life.  Not doing many of the things I used to do, not being around many of the people I used to be around has helped me to progress in my life.  Sometimes it is hard, but you have to limit your interactions with certain people and things in order to see progress.  That I have seen.  Ordering my steps has helped me greatly and I am proud. 

Now, continue to put my best foot forward, not look back on old things.  Get over my art of sabatoge and continue to love and embrace the people that love and cherish me.  I am thankful for everything that has happened in my life, the good and the bad.  Thankful for the people that I have encountered over the years, because without them I wouldn't be where I am today.  Life has a purpose for you.  As long as you move forward and do what is right, things will fall into place.  What I'm realizing is that we want to be worldly and not Godly, that tends to pose a problem no matter what.  Love yourself.  Don't spend all you have!  Put yourself around people that are movers and shakers.  Give back to your community!  These things will help you grow into the person that you are meant to be. 

Continue to do Good Works

Things are moving an the right direction and I am so proud of my accomplishments.  I received my tax return yesterday and I am making moves toward paying off old debts.  To be honest, I was excited in the morning when I realized that my tax return was in my account.  As the day progressed sadness reared its ugly face.  This was due to understanding that that money would soon be gone.  At least it is going toward old bills that have been hovering over my head for a few years.  One of the first things I paid was Knology I owed $103 to them, next, I paid First Premier, which is my credit card.  I paid the entire debt which was $380.  I also paid for my mortgage.  Greentree is the worst mortgage company that I have dealt with.  My mortgage was sold to them and I truly don't like the company.  Whenever I call, I always get the same person.  My paperwork says that my mortgage payment is $405, but they say it's $600.  I don't what to believe.  Try not to get a mortgage with Greentree, because they are the worst. 

Overall, I am proud of my achievements and really looking forward to getting in a better place with my finances.  No, I am not perfect.  I am human living and having a human experience.  I make mistakes and know that things can only get better.  What I am thinking, I will take out a secured loan for $1,000 and pay it off.  That will help to bring up my credit scores.  The only thing they can do is go up.  This is the worst my scores have ever been and I am looking forward to seeing the progress of growth for my credit scores. 

Things to do:

1. Write letters to the credit bureaus pertaining to the debts I have paid and the old debts that are older than 7 years, they need to be removed.
2. Continue to pay for debts so that my credit scores will go up
3. Make an appointment with my credit counselor to see my progress and what are my next steps
4. Go to the bank and take out a secured loan for $1,000.  This will help increase my scores
5. Save, save, and save some more.  Work toward always have at least $3,000 in the bank at all times
6. Eliminate as much as I can and put that money toward outstanding debts. 
7. Clean out the refrigerators in storage and put them on Craigslist
8. Get rid of my storage unit that will save $50+ a month because I am always late
9. Put all bills on automatic bill pay so that bills will continue to get paid
10. Get rid of my wireless card, that will cut my cell phone bill down at least $50 a month
11. Find a house phone that will work with my alarm system that is cheaper than my current bill

These are all great things to do and I am looking forward to making progress.  It takes small steps that turn into big steps.  With the motivation and guidance that I receiving, I will be able to obtain financial success.  First, I must believe in myself and put my best foot forward at all times.  I can do it, the road my be long and hard, but with the help of the Lord, all things are possible. 

Subtle Changes are the Best

Yesterday, I posted and I am glad.  I have said it time and time again, I will do better by my blogs and I try to, but of course life gets in the way.  While writing yesterday, I had major thoughts, no I didn't express them, but the thought was there.  I was told that, it's the thought that counts!  Maybe my thoughts can help someone out in the long run. 

There are several things going on in my life and one of them is getting closer to God.  I will admit that I haven't been the perfect christian and know I am not now, but my walk is getting better and better.  I have gone to Sunday School every Sunday this year.  (Sunday School is my thing, I love it because it's personal and you get to share and express).  I have gone to church twice, plus, I have started a workout class at church on Tuesday nights.  It's fun and a way to relax and it's not strenious, something light and to the point.  While going to church, I realized that these are people that have known me my entire life.  I have been blessed to be a member of this church since the day I was born.  I owe that to Betty Jackson, my mother, for this I am thankful! 

Walking this path was not promised to be easy, but it will lead you in the right direction.  In saying this, paying attention to my life and the things I have accomplished or set out to do, I have not completed many of my goals.  Maybe those are the things that were not meant for me to do.  As stated before, my life has had many financial issues, but I press on.  You know why, because life moves on regardless of my wanting it to or not. 

Selling items on Craigslist was a blessing, but did I do right by that money?  No, I didn't.  What did I do with it?  Bought fast food which is not healthy or a good choice for me.  I did spend some of it on a friend that lost his father, I bought food for them and other household items.  So, it all wasn't spent in vain. 

Here I am today thinking about what I can do to better myself and my future!

1. Continue to get closer to God
2. Start and end my day with a bible passage
3. Sell all items in storage so that will be one less bill
4. Take pictures of the storage unit and post it on Craigslist
5. Take the refrigerators out of storage and sell them for scrap metal
6. Take photos of candles and post them on Craiglist
7. Extra cash that I make put it towards an outstanding bill
8. Get more organized in my life and realize that I can do all things with God that strengthens me
9. Understand that I am an individual and regardless, I am someone
10. Put my best foot forward at all times
11. Remove toxic situations and people from my life
12. Continue to do good things and be around good people

There are more things that I can say, but my mind is somewhat clouded.  I did set up automatic bill pay with majority of my bills.  Now, I think all that is left is the power bill.  Looking at the money I have and how I use it, it is crazy.  I get upset because I have bills to pay and instead of doing what I should, I do nothing.  Tired of having to pay late fees, it gets old. 

I forgot that I knew how to arch my own eyebrows, so I bought a tool to do that with.  That saves 10 a month.  Cutting corners anyway possible.  My mother buys me groceries so that's one less bill I have to pay.  My refrigerator is full, that is a blessing and I receive it. 

 As always, things will be alright in the long run.  What I'm realizing is the things we deem important really aren't.  Life, love, happiness, and a relationship with God is all that counts.  Do your best to get closer to the things that are important.  You and me will be alright. 

Growing Older and Making Mature Decisions

I have sold dressers out of my storage unit and made 100.  I also sold all of Tanner's things for 70.  This was all done on Craigs List for free.  That made me feel good.  There is something going on in my life and I can't truly explain.  I have to make an adult decision about something and I know what the answer needs to be.  Prioritize is the most important thing.  I will admit that money has been a big issue for me throughout my life and spending a large amount on something that isn't a necessity now is not a bright idea.  So that answers my question to myself.  Plus, I have this sense of worry on my soul and I don't know how to shake it, is it because of me not having a thyroid, not believing in God, or me wanting to have a issue?  I think it's the first and last answer. 

I am behind on my mortgage by a month, I do have the loan modification papers that need to be filled out.  There are many companies that I owe and instead of putting the money toward them, I just don't want to pay anyone.  One good thing that I have done is set up automatic drafts for TMobile, Atomas Energy, and a few others, I can't recall them at the moment. 

There was a proposal giving to me, I may take up the offer.  You only live once is what I heard.  I am growing up and need to make adult decisions that will benefit my future.  One thing that I do know is I don't like paying a mortgage, that's the largest bill that I have.  It's not cute other, having a car note either. 

Getting rid of cable was a big decision for me.  I have Roku it costs 49 plus tax, now I don't have that monthly bill of 120 plus per month.  I did sign up for Netflix and I have the option to receive videos that costs 15 per month.  There is a channel that you can purchase on Roku called PlayonTV for 50, this is a one time fee.  With this channel you can get majority of the local cable stations. 

There are positive financial things going on in my life, I just need to focus and keep it moving.  I may have the selling bug.  I want to get rid of things that are of no importance to me.  For instance, that darn storage.  I am constantly late on my payments so that is more I'm paying in late fees.

I bought a small piggy bank and have been putting in dollars and coins.  When that is full the money will go toward a low debt.  Get it together Ms. Jackson. 

It Gets Better with Time

Last Friday, I met with a credit counselor and it was free through my credit union.  When we talked, she explained to me that credit history is a story and I told her mine.  With me having thyroid cancer, losing a house, and moving, it is a wonder why I didn't go bankrupt.  She told me that I should commend myself for not going bankrupt.  To be honest, I embarrass easily and last year was a total disgrace to who I am.  Finding out that I had thyroid cancer, having two surgeries in two weeks, and losing my first property took a toll on my character.  Through it all, I made it through.  Finding out that I was cancer free in April and losing the house months later.  Losing the house was maybe the best thing that could have happened to me.  Here I stand to tell you all that life is short and it's up to you to make it through. 

Currently, I live in my property that is left and my mortgage is only $405 a month.  I have a meeting this evening with the credit counselor and I am looking forward to it.  I have been taking account of the money that I spend.  This is a good thing.  I also sent letters to a few of my creditors to see about settlements. 

On another note, there's a property that I am going to do property management for and that is something that I have been trying to do for a long time.  It has been a slow journey, but things are moving forward.  Life is what you make it and I plan to make the most of it. 

No, I'm not perfect and I do make mistakes, but I am on this journey to enjoy my life.  Looking forward to financial freedom and doing the best in this life that I have been given.