Making Subtle Changes

Coming to terms with my reality has been a learning lesson and a bunch of other things.  I have been thinking seriously about letting go of both vehicles.  That means selling them both.  The Land Rover (Liam) needs some work and so does the Mini Cooper (Marybelle).  Something has to give.  We need something that we can fit in comfortably, low gas mileage, and can serve the purpose of us.  What kind of car would that be?  I don't know, but I know I want to pay cash for whatever that may be.  At the same time the house needs to be repaired.  I did get a few things done a couple of weeks ago.  There are still several things that need attention.  The only thing I can do is take one thing at a time.

See what's wrong with the flooring
Get another tree limbs cut (from in neighbors yard)

The major thing is reduction, getting rid of things that aren't needed anymore.  My how the pendulum has shifted.

As for the flooring, he's going to have to go under the house to see what the problem is and we go from there.  I have to have enough to survive.

Going to have Liam towed today to see what's wrong with him.  The towing is free and the consultation is too.  That's good, now to see how much it's going to cost to get him fixed.  Once he's fixed, I will not drive Marybelle for a while until I have enough to get the seats repaired.  I only owe $3283 on Marybelle.  I'm so ready to be done with that monthly bill.  See what a mid-life crisis will do for you.  Bad choices.

During my break:
Get Liam towed
Call student loan companies to see about consolidation and cutting late months
Call First Premier to get another card
Call Greentree to find out about getting rid of 6 missed payments on account

Student loans
I have them, misused them and took them for granted.  I'm here now.  Do I need to finish my PhD program?  Yes.  Do I have the money?  No.  When I finish, my pay will increase by about $12,000 a year.  That's about $1000 a month.  That would be great.  Right now, I don't see how this can be done.

Where there's a will, there's a way.  I will continue to pay what I can on these debts and move forward.  Going to call today to see what I can do to get these things under control.  This is the reason why my credit scores are having a hard time.  Live and learn.

I'll admit, I have been down on myself lately and don't know where to turn to make things better.  What I do know is I don't need to create any more debt.  Get out of the debt I have.  Move forward and make things better for the long run. I'll be just fine, we'll be just fine.  I believe in myself and this journey that I am on.  The first steps are knowing and second is doing something about it.  Focus on the problem and make it work.

I got this.  Sometimes it seems I don't, but it will all work itself out.  Trust!

It's My Life

Looking back over my life, I have had a wonderful one.  Full of ups and downs, but I guess that is what life is composed of.  I remember making plans and some coming to reality and others falling by the way side.  Through it all things have been great.  Sicknesses, losses, life, death, overcoming and moving forward.  Not holding on to things makes it hard, but much easier to cope.

Making plans to retire by 20 and have a PhD, have they been my reality.  No, they haven't.  Is it due to fault of my own, why, yes. I'll admit, things haven't turned out how I've wanted them to or expected, but I'm here to tell the story.

I've come to terms with not being able to afford my PhD.  Exhausting my financial aid, I'm not able to afford school anymore.  Plus, there are other things that are more important than obtaining that degree.  Even though, I've always wanted to have D. R. period in the front of my name, since I was in junior high school.  I've wondered since I started the program what I would do with it once I finished.  To be honest, I think I was afraid to complete it.  Being in the program since 2005.  This seemed to be something I just couldn't finish, for whatever reason.  Afraid, I'll say this has been the one thing that I haven't been able to complete and get off my back.  At one point, I felt like a failure, but now, I have just let go.

Having a baby and being a cancer survivor has made me look at life in a totally different perspective.  Life is intricate.  One minute your here, the next you're gone.  What is it all worth?  The things we deem important sometimes aren't.  So, I'm looking at doing things a little different.  I understand that many things are out of our control, but overall, you have to put God first in everything you do.

Things I'm going to do different
18 months left on Marybelle, put 100-200 extra on my 450 payment (this will allow car to be paid off in 12-14 months)
Oneal Street on HAP, 1 year lease
Get baby an account, put 100 in his account monthly for the next 18 years.  Find an account that will earn a decent interest rate
Pay off Walden
Get student loans under control
Prepare to move from Fisk (4 bedroom/2 bath fireplace and 2 car garage) it's time to get out of the hood
Put any extra money in my account (save 50-200 a month)
Start preparing for winter for baby (get ahead of things, before I know it he'll be 1 years old)
Stop wasting money and do better overall

There have been many things that have occurred in my life and I look at things so different.  It's time to make a change and do it for the better.  What is it all worth?  I don't want to have any regrets.  I have done many things that I may not be proud of, but through it all I have overcome.  Having this baby makes things seem so clear.  Maybe I'm a little more emotional than I've been before, but I know I have to do better for him to have a good life.

It seems that I can't get ahead and that there is a financial curse on me.  I don't know, but somewhere things have got to be different.  All I can do is live me life and do the best I can.

Am I Really Ready?

Creating a budget is one of the things I seriously need to do every month. By December 08, I will have a $1000 emergency fund. I have been spending and got fussed at for spending. I know the things I purchased could have waited, but I didn't. Bad, no not really I deserve things sometimes. I bought a small rug for the entrance of the house, a pillow for the sofa, something to pick up hot things, black tights, and a dress. I am in the mood of making the house look more inviting. There are still somethings missing, some minor upgrades would be nice.

I got denied for the house until January of 09 due to having a late payment on my mortgage January 08. The loan officer sent me my credit scores. I have a 641, 631, and 629, they are all above 600, that is interesting. I guess from paying off that $50 medical bill brought my scores up. Good job!

As for the house, if it is still available in January, I will try again. If it is meant to be it will still be there when I am ready, if not, there is somthing else out there for me.

I am ready for the next step of my financial freedom. There are things that are close to being paid off. These are the first things I must take care of:

February 09, Liam (Land Rover)paid off: $3378.69
March 09, Get back in PhD program: $4500

These will be taken care of and I am taking the steps to get it done. I haven't eaten out in a few days, so that is moving an a different direction. I cooked breakfast, lunch was left overs, dinner stroganoff. Saving money in that aspect.

The morning tutorial and basketball are bringing in extra money. They are both monthly and will not come in a lump sum. I need to go to pay roll and shift some money around. Selling Betty's Only candles will bring in more money too.

I am looking forward to achieving financial freedom. I am learning as I go. The growth may take some time, but I know I will achieve my goal. One of the things I will be able to is purchase without having to borrow. I think that is awesome. By 35, I will have that capability.