Spending, spending, spending....that's what I've been doing this summer. At the same time, I've been getting things done.
Candle room
Kilz
Next
painted
carpet taking up
floor done
Hallway
carpet taken up
floor done
Liam has been put in the shop. He will not be out until he is fixed. This will save getting another vehicle. Plus, I got some flowers for the front yard and they have added appeal to the yard. There are still things that need to be done, but I'm glad I decided to get over whatever it is and get these things done.
Getting things done feels really good. Being in the middle of my life and having this baby has really made things different. Putting money to good use is always worth it.
What needs to be done
refinance home
pay off 1532
pay off 3295
put up 1000 every month
pay for his school for July
Entering a new stage of my life and I'm looking forward to it. Every day is new and I haven't been living it like that. Now is different. I have over 175,000 worth of student loan debt and it angers me. All I can do is work to make my life better. Take every day one at a time.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Monday, June 20, 2016
All I Can Do is Live
I had to realize that I have not been in a good place for a really long time. Chaos all around. In my mind, home, car, job, life, social interactions, chaos. Stepping back understanding the problem and working towards making it better.
The house looked as if it had thrown up. Things everywhere, clothes, things, all over the place, no order, none. I started in the back of the house and thinned out. Got rid of clothes, shoes, papers, things. Moved things around. I also started to decorate. I have been in the house for a long time and I haven't enjoyed it. Haven't made it comfortable, home. I know these things don't matter, but they add warmth to the space. You can actually walk throughout the house and nothing is on the floor. Everything has a place. More or less. It feels good to finally have a clean home.
In the meantime, during the decorating, I have been redoing each room. My room is done. Now the guest bedroom. It had to be Kilz. That was done today. Tomorrow, it will be painted. Looking forward to it. Once that is done, the carpet will be removed and the hardwood sanded and varnished. There will be a full sized bedroom set put in there.
Next, his room will be done just like the guest bedroom. Finally, the carpet will be taken up in the hallway and the hardwood done too. Making the space comfortable while I'm here and ready for the next tenant after I leave.
The front of the house is going to take the most work. The floor has shifted in the kitchen. There needs to be a new counter top and cabinets. The floor needs to be done too. I didn't mention a backsplash. Something pretty. The front room carpet needs to be taken up and floor under needs to be fixed. There's a hump in it. Not too sure about what type of flooring I would like for that room. Will have to think about that.
In the front yard, I planted a flower garden and it is really pretty. They are perennials so they will come back every year. Slowly, but surely I am appreciating the things that I have done in my home. It is mine and it might as well be what I want.
As far as my debt, I haven't done anything with it. It is still there. I haven't checked CreditKarma. Nothing.
Student loans
Medical bills
I have been spending money on nothing really, but not on what is important. Not at all. What is the problem? I just don't feel like doing what it takes to get out of this financial turmoil that I have gotten myself into.
What I told myself is that I would look at CreditKarma and see where I stand.
Contact all debtors and set up payment arrangements
Continue to save $1000 a month
At the end of the year, I wanted to purchase a new car with the money saved. Purchase land, pay off debt, put it toward my mortgage. I really don't know what to do.
What I can do is put $400 toward my smallest debt in July. This will allow me to get something paid off in at least 2-3 months.
Life is about learning from your mistakes and doing what it takes not to repeat them. I created this debt and it's up to me to eliminate it.
Plus, I got a part time job. I do enjoy it. That helps. Focus is what I need and having a clean home does help. I know that moments matter, but they fade away. I must do what's best for me!
The house looked as if it had thrown up. Things everywhere, clothes, things, all over the place, no order, none. I started in the back of the house and thinned out. Got rid of clothes, shoes, papers, things. Moved things around. I also started to decorate. I have been in the house for a long time and I haven't enjoyed it. Haven't made it comfortable, home. I know these things don't matter, but they add warmth to the space. You can actually walk throughout the house and nothing is on the floor. Everything has a place. More or less. It feels good to finally have a clean home.
In the meantime, during the decorating, I have been redoing each room. My room is done. Now the guest bedroom. It had to be Kilz. That was done today. Tomorrow, it will be painted. Looking forward to it. Once that is done, the carpet will be removed and the hardwood sanded and varnished. There will be a full sized bedroom set put in there.
Next, his room will be done just like the guest bedroom. Finally, the carpet will be taken up in the hallway and the hardwood done too. Making the space comfortable while I'm here and ready for the next tenant after I leave.
The front of the house is going to take the most work. The floor has shifted in the kitchen. There needs to be a new counter top and cabinets. The floor needs to be done too. I didn't mention a backsplash. Something pretty. The front room carpet needs to be taken up and floor under needs to be fixed. There's a hump in it. Not too sure about what type of flooring I would like for that room. Will have to think about that.
In the front yard, I planted a flower garden and it is really pretty. They are perennials so they will come back every year. Slowly, but surely I am appreciating the things that I have done in my home. It is mine and it might as well be what I want.
As far as my debt, I haven't done anything with it. It is still there. I haven't checked CreditKarma. Nothing.
Student loans
Medical bills
I have been spending money on nothing really, but not on what is important. Not at all. What is the problem? I just don't feel like doing what it takes to get out of this financial turmoil that I have gotten myself into.
What I told myself is that I would look at CreditKarma and see where I stand.
Contact all debtors and set up payment arrangements
Continue to save $1000 a month
At the end of the year, I wanted to purchase a new car with the money saved. Purchase land, pay off debt, put it toward my mortgage. I really don't know what to do.
What I can do is put $400 toward my smallest debt in July. This will allow me to get something paid off in at least 2-3 months.
Life is about learning from your mistakes and doing what it takes not to repeat them. I created this debt and it's up to me to eliminate it.
Plus, I got a part time job. I do enjoy it. That helps. Focus is what I need and having a clean home does help. I know that moments matter, but they fade away. I must do what's best for me!
Monday, April 18, 2016
It's a Journey to be Filled with Accomplishments
This financial journey is not the easiest one to be on. I'll be the first to admit that! It's a roller coaster, filled with ups and down, flips and flops, curves, and slides, but it is all worth it. It seems that it isn't but it is. As you know, my biggest issue is all of this student loan debt that I have accumulated over the last years and still haven't completed this PhD, go figure. In my mind, I'm over it, but I know this is something that I need to complete one way or another. I do know that my topic will have to be started all over due to the program not being in use anymore. Knowing what I know now, I may not have consolidated my loans because they fall off after 20 years. Never was told that!
Working on getting the house in order. Still need to get the last 2 rooms redone plus the hallway and I'll be finished with the back of the house. Then to the kitchen. It's a work in progress and I can do it. When the dust settles, I will inquire about refinancing my house. When that is done, all I will have to do is pay for 15 more years instead of 20. The house will be paid for by the time my baby is 15. That will be a complete blessing. Paying things off seems to be the story of my life. Never seem to get there. Always something.
Medical: 5,683 (200 a month)
Walden: 6,597 (75 a month)
Navient: 10,429 (75 month)
11,162 (25 month)
Fed Loan Serv: 172,475 (25 month)
By the end of the month the medical will be down to $4083, I may put half of it toward that debt. Depending on how things are looking at the end of the year. Walden should be paid off by December 2017. The goal is to eliminate as much of this debt as I can and still not accumulated anymore. That will be the hard part. Looking at the debt like this makes me feel great that I can see it, but knowing that I did this to myself makes me feel some kind of way. Hindsight is 20/20. 
Having the Mini Cooper is great, but now that I have this little boy, it is a little too small for the both of us. Really looking into getting a new vehicle at the end of the month. Paying cash for it, no more than $12,000 I want to spend. Also, was supposed to go to the salvage yard today to see about getting rid of Liam. He's been in the front yard since last year. It's time to let go. 
In my mind, that will be the start of letting go of many other things in my life. I feel stifled, holding on to past things that serve no purpose in my life. Let go of things that wish me no good, because I am blocking blessings.
Monday, March 28, 2016
Life Goes on no Matter What
Here I am! That is something that I am so glad to be. You live and learn and that's what I've been doing. Beating myself up over past mistakes, decisions, choices, anything. Overall, just not happy with my life. That is so sad! What can I do? Except my life and move on, because time waits for no man. I realize that over all of these years, I have wasted so much time, money, and energy. Where would I be if I saved more money than I spent? Not in this place.
Beating myself up is something that I do on a daily basis. Most of the time I compare myself to others and I know that is not what God intended for any of us. No one can walk in another's shoes. Everyone has a different path to follow and what is for me is for me only.
As for My Financial Success, it has been a constant struggle, from student loans to other issues, I can't seem to win for losing.
Things that need to be handled
Land Rover sitting in front yard since last year
student loan debt 172,000
other student loans 30,000
credit scores 576 and 585
Things that I'm working on
getting house situated: 2 bedrooms painted, carpet taken up, hardwood under carpet
hallway: carpet taken up, floor done
kitchen: cabinets replaced, new counter top, flooring
new bedroom set
Where did I go wrong? Not putting money to good use, not enjoying life. I don't try to live like the Jones', but sometimes I feel I don't deserve things. Right now, I am working on putting my money to good use. Also, having this little boy has changed my life for the good. I actually have saved money for him, that I should have been saving for myself a long time ago. What changes life will bring.
Working on bringing up my credit scores. Paying things off one at a time. I learned something, I shouldn't have consolidated my loans, I had 2 to fall off due to them being 20 years old. Go figure!
Something that I have learned, I am not my credit score. Having a good one does seem to help make life a little better.
Beating myself up is something that I do on a daily basis. Most of the time I compare myself to others and I know that is not what God intended for any of us. No one can walk in another's shoes. Everyone has a different path to follow and what is for me is for me only.
As for My Financial Success, it has been a constant struggle, from student loans to other issues, I can't seem to win for losing.
Things that need to be handled
Land Rover sitting in front yard since last year
student loan debt 172,000
other student loans 30,000
credit scores 576 and 585
Things that I'm working on
getting house situated: 2 bedrooms painted, carpet taken up, hardwood under carpet
hallway: carpet taken up, floor done
kitchen: cabinets replaced, new counter top, flooring
new bedroom set
Where did I go wrong? Not putting money to good use, not enjoying life. I don't try to live like the Jones', but sometimes I feel I don't deserve things. Right now, I am working on putting my money to good use. Also, having this little boy has changed my life for the good. I actually have saved money for him, that I should have been saving for myself a long time ago. What changes life will bring.
Working on bringing up my credit scores. Paying things off one at a time. I learned something, I shouldn't have consolidated my loans, I had 2 to fall off due to them being 20 years old. Go figure!
Something that I have learned, I am not my credit score. Having a good one does seem to help make life a little better.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
New Year, Same Old Thing
Happy Happy New Year! There are so many good and not so good things going on. Let's see my credit score has dropped something serious. I have paid off Marybelle, that's $450 to debt. Things are working themselves out. 2015 was a different year for me. Having to adjust to being a new mom says it all. I never thought this would be my reality, but it is.
Looking back over all the years. The fun, sex, relationships, useless things that have gone and really didn't mean anything. What was the purpose? Back then, I should have been an international traveler. Instead of trying to have all the sex, or make this relationship work. I should have been purchasing real estate and filling up my passport. Which by the way, I haven't gotten the first stamp in it. Go figure.
Being 40 has made me realize many things about myself.
Looking back over all the years. The fun, sex, relationships, useless things that have gone and really didn't mean anything. What was the purpose? Back then, I should have been an international traveler. Instead of trying to have all the sex, or make this relationship work. I should have been purchasing real estate and filling up my passport. Which by the way, I haven't gotten the first stamp in it. Go figure.
Being 40 has made me realize many things about myself.
- loner
- kind
- giver
- caring
- emotional
- lovely
- adventurer
Just to name of few. Right now, of course, I am where I thought I wouldn't be. Living in one of my rental properties understanding that it is time to move on to something else.
What have I been doing to make things better?
- pay off student loans prior to 1995 so I can get teacher loan forgiveness
- 1638 and 3600
- contact private loans that are with collection agency to see about updating credit information
- working on getting house ready for when I move
- paying off credit cards
- pay off medical bills
- save something monthly
Last year was really different. Getting adjusted and making sure that I had enough. Losing myself and now trying to get her back has been a journey. Also, yesterday, my new furnace got put in, that was $1400. Not thinking that I deserve better has been an issue, but overall I been staying above water.
This credit score has dropped below 600 and that's truly sad. Wanted and needing to move is something that is seriously on my to-do list. Having this baby has really put many things in perspective. Also, like I stated earlier, so much time, energy, and money wasted on worldly items. Where did it get me, not where I thought I would or should be.
Another thing, not graduating with a Phd has done something to me. All of this student loan debt and to not have a degree, what a waste of time, energy, and other peoples money. Now, what do I do? Suck it up and make a change, where change is due.
Today, I will write a letter to the credit agencies where these default student loans are and see about making a payment arrangement to bring these debts current and put them in good standing. It seems I'm always robbing Peter to pay Paul, but I'm here and I'm making it, is all that matters.
Not going to worry about past decisions, or mistakes. All I can do is stay current and make it better. Swimming in debt will not be my future. Things will get better and I'm determined to do it.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Life is Really Different
As I lay here I am thinking that my thoughts, actions, place of interest have changed. Does it have something to do with the little one or my place in life period? Who knows, but for whatever it's worth, they have changed. Along with a few other things. My thoughts are on retirement, as I am closer to ending than beginning. Who would have figured? Not I said the cat, but it is slowly appearing. There are ends that need to be tied up, things that need to be handled. Chaos is my friend and I don't know how to shake him. He's always there lurking in the corner on the floor, just chaos. These are things that I have brought on myself, fixing them or getting a handle of them is the first step.
Interested in learning about the stock market, wanting to diversify my portfolio and get a handle on my and his finances. This summer I neglected a few debts. My fault, not because I didn't have the money, just didn't pay. Go figure. August is going to be filled with catching up and replacing money.
Things needed to do
Get carpet taken up in hallway replaced with wood or pargo (spelled)
Candle room painted
Central heat fixed
Flooring in kitchen
Countertop
Door candle room
Door hallway
Pay car note
Call Navient
Credit score situated
Sell Land Rover
Get Mini fixed
Refinance house
I am closer to retiring and there is so much that I haven't done. Looking into investing, learning some new things. There are many years left, God willing and I need to get things in order. Now is the time to begin. Take it slow and sort out my money. Mutual funds, stocks, things of that nature. Work with me as I learn. I'm going to take it slow.
Interested in learning about the stock market, wanting to diversify my portfolio and get a handle on my and his finances. This summer I neglected a few debts. My fault, not because I didn't have the money, just didn't pay. Go figure. August is going to be filled with catching up and replacing money.
Things needed to do
Get carpet taken up in hallway replaced with wood or pargo (spelled)
Candle room painted
Central heat fixed
Flooring in kitchen
Countertop
Door candle room
Door hallway
Pay car note
Call Navient
Credit score situated
Sell Land Rover
Get Mini fixed
Refinance house
I am closer to retiring and there is so much that I haven't done. Looking into investing, learning some new things. There are many years left, God willing and I need to get things in order. Now is the time to begin. Take it slow and sort out my money. Mutual funds, stocks, things of that nature. Work with me as I learn. I'm going to take it slow.
Friday, June 12, 2015
Do I Deserve Anything?
As I sit and wonder about my life and the things I've accomplished and haven't. I wonder do I deserve anything better than the things I have achieved? Wanting so much more for myself and the baby, but life is hard and the pickles I have gotten myself into make me wonder.
It seems I try all for nothing!
There's a Land Rover that is not functioning anymore that needs to be soldA house that needs to be rented
A house that I live in that needs to be fixed, the mortgage is too much and I'm ready to move
A dissertation that needs to be written, but I can't afford it because I have exhausted my financial aid
Mini Cooper that is almost paid for, but has several issues
This is the story of my life. It seems so hard, but it really doesn't have to be. Issues on top of issues keep coming out of no where and the main objective is to stay afloat. There are things that need to be done, but there's something in me that says self sabotage is the best option.
Cancel insurance on Land Rover, waste of money
Rent out house
Clean my house
Get grass cut
Get caught up on student loans
Put back money that I have taken out
Looking at my house, it's depressing, it needs to be organized and cleaned, but it's mine. The neighborhood is crazy and I want so much better for him, he deserves it and I do too, don't I?
It is hard to save money and there is so much that I have wasted and blown over the years. Now, it's do or die.
Save $7,000 a year
Save enough money to move next year
Get credit score higher so I can move
Believe I deserve everything that I want and desire
In a couple of months I will be 40 years of age and it is a blessing to have seen 39 wonderful, but challenging years. It only gets better, right? That's what I'm hoping. I've made it through some trying times, and I do believe I'm here for a reason. What I need to understand is I'm worth everything that I want. Plus, this baby deserves more.
If not today, Monday, I will go in and cancel my insurance for the Land Rover. Also, before the end of the month the house will be rented. Plus, my house will be kinda clean. You read that, kinda clean. I will also call to get my grass cut. As a matter of fact, I'll make that call now when I finish writing this.
In all honesty, I'm at the half way point in my life and at some point I gave up on myself and my life. I don't know if it was the break up, break ins, thyroid cancer, survival, situation, or the baby, but life for me changed drastically. My emotions have been a roller coaster. Sometimes, I don't know whether I'm coming or going.
Finances are another aspect of my life. It gets good and then bad. The worse part of my finances are the student loans. There has to be something else and this has to get better. These student loans will not get the best of me. It does make me sad.
This is my life and it will get better. I do believe in myself.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Reviewing Things
As I think about my life I am truly blessed. I am still here. Once upon a time I had this spirit that would do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, that girl left. Where she went, I don't know. The thing that is crazy are the decisions that I made really weren't the best. True, what goes up most come down, that I completely understand.
Bad decisions
Liam should have been sold a long time ago, now I don't know if I'll be able to get rid of him.
Marybelle, it rains in her, I can't use the key to unlock the door, and now my seats will not move.
My house, in a neighborhood that's all I say, cost to much, interest rate high
On the other hand, I was able to do all of these things. Now that 40 is coming fast, I feel that there are several things I should have done, but didn't do. It's not the best feeling. One thing I can say is I have learned from my mistakes and all I can do is try to make them better.
It's the summer time and there are things I want to do.
Laingley's 1st birthday party
take a trip in July
get house together
take a mommy and me swim class
take him to the beach
All of this takes money, did I mention that I dropped my phone again. It never fails, there is always something. On a brighter note, I do feel better about myself. I've decided to do the things that I have failed to do. For instance, take a drawing class. I also want to take sign language.
I'm taking one day at a time, that's all I can do. Tomorrow isn't promised I know, but I have to make the most of it. I've gotten over myself and I must stay that way.
Bad decisions
Liam should have been sold a long time ago, now I don't know if I'll be able to get rid of him.
Marybelle, it rains in her, I can't use the key to unlock the door, and now my seats will not move.
My house, in a neighborhood that's all I say, cost to much, interest rate high
On the other hand, I was able to do all of these things. Now that 40 is coming fast, I feel that there are several things I should have done, but didn't do. It's not the best feeling. One thing I can say is I have learned from my mistakes and all I can do is try to make them better.
It's the summer time and there are things I want to do.
Laingley's 1st birthday party
take a trip in July
get house together
take a mommy and me swim class
take him to the beach
All of this takes money, did I mention that I dropped my phone again. It never fails, there is always something. On a brighter note, I do feel better about myself. I've decided to do the things that I have failed to do. For instance, take a drawing class. I also want to take sign language.
I'm taking one day at a time, that's all I can do. Tomorrow isn't promised I know, but I have to make the most of it. I've gotten over myself and I must stay that way.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Spending Spending Spending
Do I set up a payment plan with Navient or do I just let the loan do what it's going to do? That is the question of the day. I have the money in my other account, but it is already below what I started with. I've paid my mom and a few other things. To be honest, I'm glad of the things that I've accomplished, but there are goals set.
Navient (student loans)
To be honest, I really don't understand why student loans have to be such a bother. Yes, I needed the loans to help pay for school. Yes, they did what they needed to do. Yes, I understand that they have to be paid back. What I don't understand is the harassment that one has to endure when owing them. It is awful and I'm sad that I was in a position to need loans in order to afford school. Also, the interest rates are ridiculous. No matter what, they have to be paid off. I will make a call to set up a payment plan. It's not in the cards, but it has to be done, no matter what.
Due to the student loan issues, my credit score has been dropping, slowly, but surely. Trouble don't last always.
Things to do today
Get Liam $545.00, found out that he needs a new motor, that's not in my budget. Either pay $4,000 for motor replacement or $1,887.55 for issues and that's not guaranteed that the problem will be fixed. So, it's time to let it go. I have to pay for the repairs and it's still not going to work. Very very sad I know, the story of my life it seems. On another note, once Liam is sold, I'll put that money toward paying off Marybelle. I'm asking $3000, but under the circumstances, I'll take $2,000. Putting $1,000 toward Marybelle will make me owe less of course. I'll have it paid off sooner. Once she's paid off she'll get sold too. I'm ready to let things go and move forward.
I have been spending unnecessarily, but I have been getting things for the baby. When the winter comes, he will not need anything. I'm glad of that. I found Thredup.com, a second hand store that offers clothes for babies and adults. That's going to be my go to, plus JCPenney's for my babies clothes. I have to have enough for all times. You never know what will happen.
For the next few weeks I have to have enough. June is coming fast. Make sure my bills are paid. Have enough money for gas and be able to put back what I've taken. It seems, I never have enough. Robbing Peter to pay Paul isn't a good look in this time and age of my life.
Things I Am Going to Do
Pay off Marybelle
Get floor fixed in house
Get student loans under control
Increase credit score
Move
Put back what I've taken away
Continue to put money away for him
June
mortgage
car note
student loans
cruise money (200)
babies party
credit card (First Premier and JCPenney's)
take baby to the beach
I see me, I see my life, I see my struggles, I see my successes, I see my pains, I see who I am, I see what I'm capable of, I see me. The issues are real and able to be handled, I'll make it through. Yes, I can.
Navient (student loans)
To be honest, I really don't understand why student loans have to be such a bother. Yes, I needed the loans to help pay for school. Yes, they did what they needed to do. Yes, I understand that they have to be paid back. What I don't understand is the harassment that one has to endure when owing them. It is awful and I'm sad that I was in a position to need loans in order to afford school. Also, the interest rates are ridiculous. No matter what, they have to be paid off. I will make a call to set up a payment plan. It's not in the cards, but it has to be done, no matter what.
Due to the student loan issues, my credit score has been dropping, slowly, but surely. Trouble don't last always.
Things to do today
Get Liam $545.00, found out that he needs a new motor, that's not in my budget. Either pay $4,000 for motor replacement or $1,887.55 for issues and that's not guaranteed that the problem will be fixed. So, it's time to let it go. I have to pay for the repairs and it's still not going to work. Very very sad I know, the story of my life it seems. On another note, once Liam is sold, I'll put that money toward paying off Marybelle. I'm asking $3000, but under the circumstances, I'll take $2,000. Putting $1,000 toward Marybelle will make me owe less of course. I'll have it paid off sooner. Once she's paid off she'll get sold too. I'm ready to let things go and move forward.
I have been spending unnecessarily, but I have been getting things for the baby. When the winter comes, he will not need anything. I'm glad of that. I found Thredup.com, a second hand store that offers clothes for babies and adults. That's going to be my go to, plus JCPenney's for my babies clothes. I have to have enough for all times. You never know what will happen.
For the next few weeks I have to have enough. June is coming fast. Make sure my bills are paid. Have enough money for gas and be able to put back what I've taken. It seems, I never have enough. Robbing Peter to pay Paul isn't a good look in this time and age of my life.
Things I Am Going to Do
Pay off Marybelle
Get floor fixed in house
Get student loans under control
Increase credit score
Move
Put back what I've taken away
Continue to put money away for him
June
mortgage
car note
student loans
cruise money (200)
babies party
credit card (First Premier and JCPenney's)
take baby to the beach
I see me, I see my life, I see my struggles, I see my successes, I see my pains, I see who I am, I see what I'm capable of, I see me. The issues are real and able to be handled, I'll make it through. Yes, I can.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Life
Life is what you make it and I think I'm going to make it better. I posted Liam on Craigslist because there are several things wrong with him. It's so sad, but I am in a state of letting go. Letting go of my past and making better decisions. It has to get better. First, I have to pay $540 to get him out of the shop and there are other issues. He may need another engine. I feel so sorry for him, but life does go on.
Called yesterday to inquire about consolidation. That was a very good call. I went to studentloans.gov and signed up to consolidate my student loans. What's very interesting about my case is that I have loans prior to 1995. With that being said, I should be able to get a loan reduction for working on Title I schools. Since this is my case, no loan reduction for me until those loans are paid in full. I had those loans isolated so I can pay those off individually. Looking forward to getting that done.
This month has been full of money coming out, but I'm glad to say I have actually gotten many things done. I've been in a rut and it's time to get out of it. Doing what is right by myself and my baby is all that is important. When someone is constantly asking for me to help them, that is taking away from me and my baby. More or less robbing us blind.
I want so much more for him. A better house, in a better neighborhood. I deserve that and so does he. Even if I have to move away from my mom. I just feel safer being closer to her. I'm grown and have to let go of those strings.
One day at a time is all it takes. Just one, one day at a time! Continue to do what's right. Make better choices and put money where it will work best. Let go of my past mistakes and never look back. That's how accidents happen, looking back.
Fifteen years, there are so many things that can happen during that time. You blink and that time has passed.
Things that need to happen
Continue paying off student loans so they don't go into default
Refinance house so it'll be paid off in 15 years
Move to a better neighborhood
Continue to cut back
Get Oneal Street rented out
Trees cut in backyard
Floors fixed/replaced
Paint side room
Continue to thin house out
I'm old enough now to realize my errors and how to make them better. I've cut back enough that I can really see the difference in my income. My baby is going to grow and get bigger and more money is going to come out. That's one reason why I must make better choices. I had a large amount of money and due to paying things off that has been dwindling down. I still have a little extra, but not what I once had. Here's the opportunity to make up what was once there. In due time, it's alright and I know it is.
Called yesterday to inquire about consolidation. That was a very good call. I went to studentloans.gov and signed up to consolidate my student loans. What's very interesting about my case is that I have loans prior to 1995. With that being said, I should be able to get a loan reduction for working on Title I schools. Since this is my case, no loan reduction for me until those loans are paid in full. I had those loans isolated so I can pay those off individually. Looking forward to getting that done.
This month has been full of money coming out, but I'm glad to say I have actually gotten many things done. I've been in a rut and it's time to get out of it. Doing what is right by myself and my baby is all that is important. When someone is constantly asking for me to help them, that is taking away from me and my baby. More or less robbing us blind.
I want so much more for him. A better house, in a better neighborhood. I deserve that and so does he. Even if I have to move away from my mom. I just feel safer being closer to her. I'm grown and have to let go of those strings.
One day at a time is all it takes. Just one, one day at a time! Continue to do what's right. Make better choices and put money where it will work best. Let go of my past mistakes and never look back. That's how accidents happen, looking back.
Fifteen years, there are so many things that can happen during that time. You blink and that time has passed.
Things that need to happen
Continue paying off student loans so they don't go into default
Refinance house so it'll be paid off in 15 years
Move to a better neighborhood
Continue to cut back
Get Oneal Street rented out
Trees cut in backyard
Floors fixed/replaced
Paint side room
Continue to thin house out
I'm old enough now to realize my errors and how to make them better. I've cut back enough that I can really see the difference in my income. My baby is going to grow and get bigger and more money is going to come out. That's one reason why I must make better choices. I had a large amount of money and due to paying things off that has been dwindling down. I still have a little extra, but not what I once had. Here's the opportunity to make up what was once there. In due time, it's alright and I know it is.
Monday, May 18, 2015
Making Subtle Changes
Coming to terms with my reality has been a learning lesson and a bunch of other things. I have been thinking seriously about letting go of both vehicles. That means selling them both. The Land Rover (Liam) needs some work and so does the Mini Cooper (Marybelle). Something has to give. We need something that we can fit in comfortably, low gas mileage, and can serve the purpose of us. What kind of car would that be? I don't know, but I know I want to pay cash for whatever that may be. At the same time the house needs to be repaired. I did get a few things done a couple of weeks ago. There are still several things that need attention. The only thing I can do is take one thing at a time.
See what's wrong with the flooring
Get another tree limbs cut (from in neighbors yard)
The major thing is reduction, getting rid of things that aren't needed anymore. My how the pendulum has shifted.
As for the flooring, he's going to have to go under the house to see what the problem is and we go from there. I have to have enough to survive.
Going to have Liam towed today to see what's wrong with him. The towing is free and the consultation is too. That's good, now to see how much it's going to cost to get him fixed. Once he's fixed, I will not drive Marybelle for a while until I have enough to get the seats repaired. I only owe $3283 on Marybelle. I'm so ready to be done with that monthly bill. See what a mid-life crisis will do for you. Bad choices.
During my break:
Get Liam towed
Call student loan companies to see about consolidation and cutting late months
Call First Premier to get another card
Call Greentree to find out about getting rid of 6 missed payments on account
Student loans
I have them, misused them and took them for granted. I'm here now. Do I need to finish my PhD program? Yes. Do I have the money? No. When I finish, my pay will increase by about $12,000 a year. That's about $1000 a month. That would be great. Right now, I don't see how this can be done.
Where there's a will, there's a way. I will continue to pay what I can on these debts and move forward. Going to call today to see what I can do to get these things under control. This is the reason why my credit scores are having a hard time. Live and learn.
I'll admit, I have been down on myself lately and don't know where to turn to make things better. What I do know is I don't need to create any more debt. Get out of the debt I have. Move forward and make things better for the long run. I'll be just fine, we'll be just fine. I believe in myself and this journey that I am on. The first steps are knowing and second is doing something about it. Focus on the problem and make it work.
I got this. Sometimes it seems I don't, but it will all work itself out. Trust!
See what's wrong with the flooring
Get another tree limbs cut (from in neighbors yard)
The major thing is reduction, getting rid of things that aren't needed anymore. My how the pendulum has shifted.
As for the flooring, he's going to have to go under the house to see what the problem is and we go from there. I have to have enough to survive.
Going to have Liam towed today to see what's wrong with him. The towing is free and the consultation is too. That's good, now to see how much it's going to cost to get him fixed. Once he's fixed, I will not drive Marybelle for a while until I have enough to get the seats repaired. I only owe $3283 on Marybelle. I'm so ready to be done with that monthly bill. See what a mid-life crisis will do for you. Bad choices.
During my break:
Get Liam towed
Call student loan companies to see about consolidation and cutting late months
Call First Premier to get another card
Call Greentree to find out about getting rid of 6 missed payments on account
Student loans
I have them, misused them and took them for granted. I'm here now. Do I need to finish my PhD program? Yes. Do I have the money? No. When I finish, my pay will increase by about $12,000 a year. That's about $1000 a month. That would be great. Right now, I don't see how this can be done.
Where there's a will, there's a way. I will continue to pay what I can on these debts and move forward. Going to call today to see what I can do to get these things under control. This is the reason why my credit scores are having a hard time. Live and learn.
I'll admit, I have been down on myself lately and don't know where to turn to make things better. What I do know is I don't need to create any more debt. Get out of the debt I have. Move forward and make things better for the long run. I'll be just fine, we'll be just fine. I believe in myself and this journey that I am on. The first steps are knowing and second is doing something about it. Focus on the problem and make it work.
I got this. Sometimes it seems I don't, but it will all work itself out. Trust!
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Dripping Like a Running Nose
There have been many things going on:
Baby Showers
House Warming
Many other gift giving events
For me:
Fascia board replaced
Tree Limbs removed off back of house
mother's day gifts several
dropped my phone again today
Credit score dropped. I did get a refund from the bank issue. Life happens as always. I'm a worrier and this baby has only made it worse. My emotions are all over the place. Maybe it's the baby, maybe it's my thyroid, maybe it's my life. I don't know, but regardless, I have to get it under control.
Cutting into my savings, I am almost at $1000, that's not good. Now, I need to replace that money that was taken out. It's going to take time to make that happen. Been seriously thinking about selling Liam. That money could go to paying off Marybelle. In the meantime, Marybelle is having issues. That's crazy still paying off the car and having issues with it.
As of today, no more money coming out. Unless, it has to do with food or an emergency comes up. Also, tithes. Things will be fine, I don't believe that all the time, but I know it will.
Next steps
Flooring fixed
Another tree limbs cut down
Bulb replaced and cover on Marybelle
Overall, I am glad that I have been able to handle all of the responsibilities. Having this baby has made me view life much differently. I'm able to take care of him and my other obligations as well. I am so thankful. I could not have ever imagined that this would be my life, but it's mine and I love it.
I will be fine!
Baby Showers
House Warming
Many other gift giving events
For me:
Fascia board replaced
Tree Limbs removed off back of house
mother's day gifts several
dropped my phone again today
Credit score dropped. I did get a refund from the bank issue. Life happens as always. I'm a worrier and this baby has only made it worse. My emotions are all over the place. Maybe it's the baby, maybe it's my thyroid, maybe it's my life. I don't know, but regardless, I have to get it under control.
Cutting into my savings, I am almost at $1000, that's not good. Now, I need to replace that money that was taken out. It's going to take time to make that happen. Been seriously thinking about selling Liam. That money could go to paying off Marybelle. In the meantime, Marybelle is having issues. That's crazy still paying off the car and having issues with it.
As of today, no more money coming out. Unless, it has to do with food or an emergency comes up. Also, tithes. Things will be fine, I don't believe that all the time, but I know it will.
Next steps
Flooring fixed
Another tree limbs cut down
Bulb replaced and cover on Marybelle
Overall, I am glad that I have been able to handle all of the responsibilities. Having this baby has made me view life much differently. I'm able to take care of him and my other obligations as well. I am so thankful. I could not have ever imagined that this would be my life, but it's mine and I love it.
I will be fine!
Monday, May 11, 2015
I Got This
Of course, life keeps happening whether I'm with it or not. The other day, I got pulled over because my tail light is blown and busted. How long has it been this way? For years, but it's time to get on the good foot and make things right. No, I didn't get a ticket, I got a warning which was a blessing and I completely receive it. The next thing that happened. I was overdrawn in my account. Why? Nelnet took too much money out of my account. It probably was my fault, but it wasn't right. The manager wasn't acting concerned about it. It took a teller to assist with the situation. If it was up to the manager, Nelnet would have refunded my money, that would have taken 4-6 weeks. This made me have to go into the savings which I'm already down due to paying my mother. It's alright, I've been blessed tremendously and I am thankful.
Currently, I am working on my home. I'm glad that I have the funds to get it repaired. My fascia board is really bad, over the years, squirrels have been chewing and making it look awful. By the time I get off work, it will be fixed. Yes, to that.
Also, my house had a gas leak. The gas company come and turned the gas off at the heating unit. It doesn't have to be fixed until the fall. That'll give me some time to get that done.
Next things
Flooring inside house (front room, kitchen)
House painted
Trees cut around the house
My cars
Liam repaired (towed)
Marybelle tail light and cover, seats fixed, headliner
No matter what, life is going to happen. It's a matter of how it is handled. I'll admit, I haven't been on my Ps and Qs, but there is always a season. It's the season to get things done. I have a plan and I am going to make it work. I listen to many adults and I am proud to say that I'm going to be just fine. No matter what, I got this. Many times, it doesn't seem like it. I get down and out because I want help, someone to come and sweep me off of my feet and handle all of my responsibilities. That isn't my reality. In the meantime, these things have to get done. It feels good when my business it taken care of.
Plus, I have a little boy that I must take care of. He's here to stay, no matter what. The house is in disarray, there is only time to get it together. Also, I have to get my car cleaned, it is awful. This is my life and I got this. It feels like I don't from time to time and I do feel like I'm going to lose it, but again, that's life. I deserve a standing ovation, pat on the back, something, but I'll give it to myself.
When things get tough, wipe it off and keep it moving. I'm going to be alright.
Things to do
Continue paying student loans
Save money, save money, save money
I'm alright all I need to know is that!
Currently, I am working on my home. I'm glad that I have the funds to get it repaired. My fascia board is really bad, over the years, squirrels have been chewing and making it look awful. By the time I get off work, it will be fixed. Yes, to that.
Also, my house had a gas leak. The gas company come and turned the gas off at the heating unit. It doesn't have to be fixed until the fall. That'll give me some time to get that done.
Next things
Flooring inside house (front room, kitchen)
House painted
Trees cut around the house
My cars
Liam repaired (towed)
Marybelle tail light and cover, seats fixed, headliner
No matter what, life is going to happen. It's a matter of how it is handled. I'll admit, I haven't been on my Ps and Qs, but there is always a season. It's the season to get things done. I have a plan and I am going to make it work. I listen to many adults and I am proud to say that I'm going to be just fine. No matter what, I got this. Many times, it doesn't seem like it. I get down and out because I want help, someone to come and sweep me off of my feet and handle all of my responsibilities. That isn't my reality. In the meantime, these things have to get done. It feels good when my business it taken care of.
Plus, I have a little boy that I must take care of. He's here to stay, no matter what. The house is in disarray, there is only time to get it together. Also, I have to get my car cleaned, it is awful. This is my life and I got this. It feels like I don't from time to time and I do feel like I'm going to lose it, but again, that's life. I deserve a standing ovation, pat on the back, something, but I'll give it to myself.
When things get tough, wipe it off and keep it moving. I'm going to be alright.
Things to do
Continue paying student loans
Save money, save money, save money
I'm alright all I need to know is that!
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