It's no one else, but me! I've been in the same place for the last however many years and I'm tired of this. So close, but no horseshoes. Have so many plans and nothings works. Because I am the source of the problem. There are so many things of interest to me, but I fight against the machine. I'm growing and changing and need to stay focused on the most important thing. My baby and getting out of this debt that I have accumulated over all these years. The closer I get the further it seems to achieve my goals.
Student loans are not the major concern anymore, it is these credit cards. I was on a roll last year and now, they are a problem. Pay them down and after that, Obgyn and Associates (which they will not separate this debt). Nothing beats a failure, but a try. That I am doing is trying.
Along this journey, I forgot who I was, the things I am interested in, and what brings me joy. Having this little boy has been interesting and sad all at the same time. Many times, I don't know that I'm doing a good job! I try to give him what is needed and be the love that keeps him going. Is that enough, can I be enough for him? Can I give him all the tools that he needs to be a successful young man?
Goals
house lifted
house painted
carpet (flooring taken up in front room, kitchen, and dining room
cabinets, counter tops replaced (back splash)
Marybelle (tail light, casing on side, headliner replaced)
Move 3/4 bedroom 2/3 bathroom 2 car garage and a fireplace
Debt
Obgyn and Associates
Fed Loan Servicing
Valic
Navient
The age of 42 is a life learning experience. I've never been married, but I am glad that I have lived to see what life can bring you. At this juncture of life, I've had cancer, a baby, lived in the hood, been an educator, started and didn't complete a PhD program, accumulated a ton of debt, landlord, I can go on and on, but I am still here. With all of that said, it has been a journey that I am proud to be on. Now, I am tired. I have made a way when there has been none. Stayed above water, when in my mind, I was draining.
Yes, I want to give up from time to time, but I don't! I carry on, now, I will say, I don't interact often, but I know how to stay in my line. It's time to get my life back. There are no rewinds, regardless. Seeing the forest for the trees is a major concern for me. Know that I can accomplish anything is what is scary. Talking a good game is much of my problem. There are so many things that I love, but don't do. Is it because I am afraid of success. In real life, I am better for others than myself. It really is sad.
Working on being a better person to myself is my key to building my own success. I've starting thinning and throwing away. It starts from within. Most of my posts are rambles, I know, but it's time. Yoga, exercising, healthy eating, games, travel, loving him are all things that are important to me. Making sure he has much love and life!
Retirement is near and I have what it takes to be ready for this life change. Being in the 3rd stage of life (dedication, contemplation, and benevolence: Adulthood, Mature Adulthood, and Midlife) is something serious. My thoughts and interests aren't like others. I tend to wonder why is my life like this, what did I do to have this? Those are not questions I should be asking, but what can I do to make my life better, my babies life better?
Most of my posts are scattered as my mind. They give me something to look back on and make better decisions and choices. I am fine, we are fine! Trust and know that nothing is all for not!
Showing posts with label clutter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clutter. Show all posts
Monday, June 25, 2018
Monday, June 20, 2016
All I Can Do is Live
I had to realize that I have not been in a good place for a really long time. Chaos all around. In my mind, home, car, job, life, social interactions, chaos. Stepping back understanding the problem and working towards making it better.
The house looked as if it had thrown up. Things everywhere, clothes, things, all over the place, no order, none. I started in the back of the house and thinned out. Got rid of clothes, shoes, papers, things. Moved things around. I also started to decorate. I have been in the house for a long time and I haven't enjoyed it. Haven't made it comfortable, home. I know these things don't matter, but they add warmth to the space. You can actually walk throughout the house and nothing is on the floor. Everything has a place. More or less. It feels good to finally have a clean home.
In the meantime, during the decorating, I have been redoing each room. My room is done. Now the guest bedroom. It had to be Kilz. That was done today. Tomorrow, it will be painted. Looking forward to it. Once that is done, the carpet will be removed and the hardwood sanded and varnished. There will be a full sized bedroom set put in there.
Next, his room will be done just like the guest bedroom. Finally, the carpet will be taken up in the hallway and the hardwood done too. Making the space comfortable while I'm here and ready for the next tenant after I leave.
The front of the house is going to take the most work. The floor has shifted in the kitchen. There needs to be a new counter top and cabinets. The floor needs to be done too. I didn't mention a backsplash. Something pretty. The front room carpet needs to be taken up and floor under needs to be fixed. There's a hump in it. Not too sure about what type of flooring I would like for that room. Will have to think about that.
In the front yard, I planted a flower garden and it is really pretty. They are perennials so they will come back every year. Slowly, but surely I am appreciating the things that I have done in my home. It is mine and it might as well be what I want.
As far as my debt, I haven't done anything with it. It is still there. I haven't checked CreditKarma. Nothing.
Student loans
Medical bills
I have been spending money on nothing really, but not on what is important. Not at all. What is the problem? I just don't feel like doing what it takes to get out of this financial turmoil that I have gotten myself into.
What I told myself is that I would look at CreditKarma and see where I stand.
Contact all debtors and set up payment arrangements
Continue to save $1000 a month
At the end of the year, I wanted to purchase a new car with the money saved. Purchase land, pay off debt, put it toward my mortgage. I really don't know what to do.
What I can do is put $400 toward my smallest debt in July. This will allow me to get something paid off in at least 2-3 months.
Life is about learning from your mistakes and doing what it takes not to repeat them. I created this debt and it's up to me to eliminate it.
Plus, I got a part time job. I do enjoy it. That helps. Focus is what I need and having a clean home does help. I know that moments matter, but they fade away. I must do what's best for me!
The house looked as if it had thrown up. Things everywhere, clothes, things, all over the place, no order, none. I started in the back of the house and thinned out. Got rid of clothes, shoes, papers, things. Moved things around. I also started to decorate. I have been in the house for a long time and I haven't enjoyed it. Haven't made it comfortable, home. I know these things don't matter, but they add warmth to the space. You can actually walk throughout the house and nothing is on the floor. Everything has a place. More or less. It feels good to finally have a clean home.
In the meantime, during the decorating, I have been redoing each room. My room is done. Now the guest bedroom. It had to be Kilz. That was done today. Tomorrow, it will be painted. Looking forward to it. Once that is done, the carpet will be removed and the hardwood sanded and varnished. There will be a full sized bedroom set put in there.
Next, his room will be done just like the guest bedroom. Finally, the carpet will be taken up in the hallway and the hardwood done too. Making the space comfortable while I'm here and ready for the next tenant after I leave.
The front of the house is going to take the most work. The floor has shifted in the kitchen. There needs to be a new counter top and cabinets. The floor needs to be done too. I didn't mention a backsplash. Something pretty. The front room carpet needs to be taken up and floor under needs to be fixed. There's a hump in it. Not too sure about what type of flooring I would like for that room. Will have to think about that.
In the front yard, I planted a flower garden and it is really pretty. They are perennials so they will come back every year. Slowly, but surely I am appreciating the things that I have done in my home. It is mine and it might as well be what I want.
As far as my debt, I haven't done anything with it. It is still there. I haven't checked CreditKarma. Nothing.
Student loans
Medical bills
I have been spending money on nothing really, but not on what is important. Not at all. What is the problem? I just don't feel like doing what it takes to get out of this financial turmoil that I have gotten myself into.
What I told myself is that I would look at CreditKarma and see where I stand.
Contact all debtors and set up payment arrangements
Continue to save $1000 a month
At the end of the year, I wanted to purchase a new car with the money saved. Purchase land, pay off debt, put it toward my mortgage. I really don't know what to do.
What I can do is put $400 toward my smallest debt in July. This will allow me to get something paid off in at least 2-3 months.
Life is about learning from your mistakes and doing what it takes not to repeat them. I created this debt and it's up to me to eliminate it.
Plus, I got a part time job. I do enjoy it. That helps. Focus is what I need and having a clean home does help. I know that moments matter, but they fade away. I must do what's best for me!
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