Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Getting Older Should be Getting Better

It's almost the end of the month and things keep moving as always.  Tired of the struggle, tired of not having enough to make ends meet.  Tired of just being tired.  There never seems to be enough.  Never.  Where did I go wrong?  Student loans, constant phone calls, more debt.  Never enough.

I got paid December 19, 2014.  I surprised that I'm not overdrawn, but I'm sure I will be very soon.  The truck isn't working, I need to put it in the shop.  Marybelle's seats in stuck in a position.  It's always one thing after another.  Cut back and it still isn't enough.  So what needs to be done?  Pay off the few small bills.  I forgot I put the house on Oneal Street on HAP and they moved out.  I have to repay 348 to the government.  That'll be done at the end of the month.  The check is usually gone before it is here.  Did I mention, the television in the front room has died.  Always something.

Seriously thinking about moving ASAP.  Don't want to bite of more than I can chew.  Sometimes it seems I can't see the forest for the trees.  I have gas in my car, that's good.  The little dog needs food for the next few days.  We have food in the house so that's good.  Let's make it until the end of the month.  We can do this, yes we can.

40 is coming really quick and I never thought I would be in the financial bind that I'm in.  Haven't finished my PhD due to owing 5,000.  Debt is everlasting it seems.  Never thought this would be my life.  It is and now and I can change it by taking small steps.  Put in job applications here and there until I find something else.  Contribute to my retirement constantly.  Change my babies name before he starts school.  So much to do, so little time.  Never know when this life will be snatched from under you.

38 years of living and not to the fullest.  Things are changing, just like the weather.  What will I do?  Do things that I haven't done whether it's with my baby or not.  Next month, I may take a road trip, it all depends.  Maybe not because there are several things that need to be paid off.

Using this forum as a personal guide to my freedom.  There are several wants, but overall I do want him to have a happy childhood with a backyard he can play in.  A place where I can have company and relax.  The neighborhood is hood and I did that to myself.  It's time for mature thing and I deserve that.  The time is now.
You are probably tired of the sad stories, there needs to be some success stories on here too.  I'm working on that, I promise.  This is a place for me to vent, express, cry, smile, tell all sometimes.  I will get better, I just have to keep working it.  Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

New Year 2015, What's it Going to Be?

It's time to move and gets things going.  Still making unnecessary mistakes.  One thing is no more debt, no more debt, no more debt.

I have used creditkarma.com to help me get my credit in order below is the list of debt that I can pay off in the next few months:
Merchants AD  58
Med Data Sys  132
MEA  139
1st Premier  173
JC Penney's  191
Credburserv  200
Rec Mgt Grp 348
Marybelle  (little car) 5,058/12=421.50
State Tax Lien  8,743 (has to be paid in full)

Merchants AD, Med Data Sys, and MEA will be paid off at the end of the month.  MEA has direct deposit.  Once that is paid, I'll add another 75 to Marybelle's payment so that will make her be paid off sooner than it should.  I'm tired of the debt.  I've made many bad financial choices over the years.  Now that I have a little boy, my decisions will not only affect me, but him too.  I don't want him to have the financial issues that I have.

The above numbers are just the beginning of my debt.  There are several student loans that don't seem to be going anywhere.  I'm tired of getting phone call after phone call from my student loans.  Don't have the money to pay the late payment in full.  One sad thing after another.  By the end of the year my credit score should be above 600.

Also, I'll be 40 in August and I want to move.  Tired of my neighbors it's so sad!  So many things are happening and I don't know where to start.  One more thing, I started a Christmas account for 50 a month.  This will help me get it together and prepare for the holidays for my baby and others.  Plus, I want to do things with him that I didn't do growing up.  We need to go on a big vacation once a year, he and I together.  I also need to have my own vacation without him.

There's no clarity or focus, I have not.  Then another thing came to mind.  Do I want him to get a degree because if he gets a degree that means he'll be working for someone for the rest of his life.  Wow, decisions.

Since I'm an older mom, I'll be able to retire by the time my baby is 16, go figure.  The right things I didn't do before I need to do now.  I've been looking on Pinterest finding ways to put money up.  The next thing is to file my taxes and do right by the money that I receive.  Pay some things off, get ahead on my mortgage.  Did I mention I'm a month behind on my mortgage and car note.  The story never ends.

Time keeps moving, I'm getting older, and debt keeps being an issue for me.  Something has to give.

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