It's the Middle of the Year

Spending, spending, spending....that's what I've been doing this summer.  At the same time, I've been getting things done.

Candle room
Kilz
Next
painted
carpet taking up
floor done

Hallway
carpet taken up
floor done

Liam has been put in the shop.  He will not be out until he is fixed.  This will save getting another vehicle.  Plus, I got some flowers for the front yard and they have added appeal to the yard.  There are still things that need to be done, but I'm glad I decided to get over whatever it is and get these things done.

Getting things done feels really good.  Being in the middle of my life and having this baby has really made things different.  Putting money to good use is always worth it.

What needs to be done
refinance home
pay off 1532
pay off 3295
put up 1000 every month
pay for his school for July

Entering a new stage of my life and I'm looking forward to it.  Every day is new and I haven't been living it like that.  Now is different.  I have over 175,000 worth of student loan debt and it angers me.  All I can do is work to make my life better.  Take every day one at a time.

It's a Journey to be Filled with Accomplishments

This financial journey is not the easiest one to be on.  I'll be the first to admit that!  It's a roller coaster, filled with ups and down, flips and flops, curves, and slides, but it is all worth it.  It seems that it isn't but it is.  As you know, my biggest issue is all of this student loan debt that I have accumulated over the last years and still haven't completed this PhD, go figure.  In my mind, I'm over it, but I know this is something that I need to complete one way or another.  I do know that my topic will have to be started all over due to the program not being in use anymore.  Knowing what I know now, I may not have consolidated my loans because they fall off after 20 years.  Never was told that!

Working on getting the house in order.  Still need to get the last 2 rooms redone plus the hallway and I'll be finished with the back of the house.  Then to the kitchen.  It's a work in progress and I can do it.  When the dust settles, I will inquire about refinancing my house.  When that is done, all I will have to do is pay for 15 more years instead of 20.  The house will be paid for by the time my baby is 15.  That will be a complete blessing. 


Paying things off seems to be the story of my life.  Never seem to get there.  Always something.


Medical:  5,683 (200 a month)
Walden:  6,597 (75 a month)
Navient:  10,429 (75 month)
      11,162 (25 month)
Fed Loan Serv:  172,475 (25 month)

By the end of the month the medical will be down to $4083, I may put half of it toward that debt.  Depending on how things are looking at the end of the year.  Walden should be paid off by December 2017.  The goal is to eliminate as much of this debt as I can and still not accumulated anymore.  That will be the hard part.  Looking at the debt like this makes me feel great that I can see it, but knowing that I did this to myself makes me feel some kind of way.  Hindsight is 20/20. 

Having the Mini Cooper is great, but now that I have this little boy, it is a little too small for the both of us.  Really looking into getting a new vehicle at the end of the month.  Paying cash for it, no more than $12,000 I want to spend.  Also, was supposed to go to the salvage yard today to see about getting rid of Liam.  He's been in the front yard since last year.  It's time to let go. 

In my mind, that will be the start of letting go of many other things in my life.  I feel stifled, holding on to past things that serve no purpose in my life.  Let go of things that wish me no good, because I am blocking blessings. 

New Year, Same Old Thing

Happy Happy New Year!  There are so many good and not so good things going on.  Let's see my credit score has dropped something serious.  I have paid off Marybelle, that's $450 to debt.  Things are working themselves out.  2015 was a different year for me.  Having to adjust to being a new mom says it all.  I never thought this would be my reality, but it is.

Looking back over all the years.  The fun, sex, relationships, useless things that have gone and really didn't mean anything.  What was the purpose?  Back then, I should have been an international traveler.  Instead of trying to have all the sex, or make this relationship work.  I should have been purchasing real estate and filling up my passport.  Which by the way, I haven't gotten the first stamp in it.  Go figure.

Being 40 has made me realize many things about myself.

• loner
• kind
• giver
• caring
• emotional
• lovely
• adventurer

Just to name of few.  Right now, of course, I am where I thought I wouldn't be.  Living in one of my rental properties understanding that it is time to move on to something else.  

What have I been doing to make things better?

• pay off student loans prior to 1995 so I can get teacher loan forgiveness
• 1638 and 3600
• contact private loans that are with collection agency to see about updating credit information
• working on getting house ready for when I move
• paying off credit cards 
• pay off medical bills
• save something monthly

Last year was really different.  Getting adjusted and making sure that I had enough.  Losing myself and now trying to get her back has been a journey.  Also, yesterday, my new furnace got put in, that was $1400.  Not thinking that I deserve better has been an issue, but overall I been staying above water.  

This credit score has dropped below 600 and that's truly sad.  Wanted and needing to move is something that is seriously on my to-do list.  Having this baby has really put many things in perspective.  Also, like I stated earlier, so much time, energy, and money wasted on worldly items.  Where did it get me, not where I thought I would or should be.  

Another thing, not graduating with a Phd has done something to me.  All of this student loan debt and to not have a degree, what a waste of time, energy, and other peoples money.  Now, what do I do?  Suck it up and make a change, where change is due.  

Today, I will write a letter to the credit agencies where these default student loans are and see about making a payment arrangement to bring these debts current and put them in good standing.  It seems I'm always robbing Peter to pay Paul, but I'm here and I'm making it, is all that matters.  

Not going to worry about past decisions, or mistakes.  All I can do is stay current and make it better.  Swimming in debt will not be my future.  Things will get better and I'm determined to do it.  

Pessimism at Its Best

My life is so different now.  Responsible for a baby is something that I never thought I would encounter.  Never under these conditions.  It's my reality and I'll say it's mine to own up to.  I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, but it's my life to do with it as I will.  The transition is a scary one and realizing the things that I wanted to do and didn't is hard.  There are so many things that kept me from doing other things.  I'm in a great place, but my thoughts get the best of me.  For instance, worrying about a reality that my never come to fruition is something that I do on a regular basis.  I'm sad more than happy.  I look at things that I shouldn't, I make myself sad.  This isn't the time to be doing that, but I do.  As if something gets into my mind and it festers continuously.

Now isn't the time to be down.  It's the holiday season, is my mind reliving my past.  This time last year was something serious, but it's over now.  To me life will repeat itself, if changes aren't made, but it repeats itself sometimes anyway.

Financial issues:
Student loans
Mortgage (month behind)
Car Note (month behind)
Medical bills (2,000)
Mom (2,000)

On top of that, it's time to move into a better situation.  Wanting better for myself and him.  He deserves to have a nice backyard that he can play in.  A decent neighborhood that's safe and secure.  His mother needs to sit down and organize her life.  Something that I'm truly having a hard time doing.  It seems like I just can't get right, no matter what.  It's me, no time.  Thoughts are cloudy, feel like I can't do anything.  Always rushing, no thoughts, just existing.  This is not why I was given life.  Morbid things are always taking the for front of my life.  Tired, like there's never enough.  Wanting to do right by him, not knowing if I'm cut out for this new position that I've been given.  Thankful that I was chosen, but so much has changed.

This post like most, is a rumble of my thoughts, which aren't clear at all.

Pay something off, that's the least I can do.  Did I mention that there are always car issues.  Issues with Marybelle's seats.  Liam is sitting in my moms backyard.  I don't want to go anywhere or do anything.  Afraid of getting sick again.  What do I do, where do I go?  How do I handle my thought?  Always overdrawing in my account.

Transfer $100 to my Navy Federal account, and put $50 in my TIC account.  I have many in MEA, that I have been getting when I need cash.  Also, I need to open up him an account.  I don't want him to struggle like I have.  Want so much more for him.

Write a will, open him an account, get this business going.  Get my life right, I want him to have better, but how can that happen if I don't want better for myself.  Being in the dumps is something that I can't seem to shake, but it'll pass it always does.

Thanks for reading!  Happy Holidays!

There are Blessings

Life goes on no matter what.  Bills, expenses, deaths, life, growth, hurt, pains, no matter what life goes on.  I've been looking at this thing called life and tragic as it seems, there are blessings in every aspect of it.  In my life there seems to always be an issue, the summer seems to be the biggest problem that I have.  Money always coming out, robbing Peter to pay Paul is the story of my life.  Through it all there are blessings.  Phone call after phone call, debt collectors constantly calling the house phone and cell makes me feel less of a person.  Yes, this does bother me, but at least I have income coming in.  I don't excessively spend, but no matter what there is always an issue.

Problems:
September bills
mortgage 1300 since I didn't pay for August
Walden 5000

I'm just tired of trying.  Come to find out I only have 12.78 years of teaching.  30 in order to retire.  Can't pay for this Phd program on my own.  Really feel like giving up and that I think I'm going to do.  Don't know whether I'm coming or going.  Whatever I try to do lately ends of failing.  Through it all there are blessings.  I have my health, a handsome baby boy that was unexpected, I'm cancer free, a mother that loves me, a roof over my head, 2 vehicles, I could go on and on.

Even though my finances aren't what I would like them to be there are several blessings that I receive.  I'm going to say thank you for them and I'm ready to receive the ones for my future.

Bumps in the Road

As long as you live, there will be bumps in the road.  Many times it is done because you aren't living right.  Other times, to make you aware of the changes that need to be made.  In my world, patience has been working on me for some time now.  I said it a while ago, that there is a young lady that is trying to get out.  She is her, but things are not as they should be.  Not for real.

As I stated before, I get close and something tends to happen.  I guess that is the thing we call life.  So there has to be major adjustments made.  Something has happened that has made me rethink things.  First, I need to find another place to stay.  That is one of the steps and second, it needs to be cheaper than what I pay now.

As you probably remember, my credit has taken a downside and have been working toward making it better.  In my mind there is no clarity.  There is chaos in most of my thoughts.  Nothing is clear and it seems I can't seem to focus on anything.

To be honest, the devil has made me feel some kind of way.  That is because I am probably on the verge of a major break thorough.  One thing is for sure, I am thankful because out of bad does come good.  This has taught me that I need to be more secure and even though I am from that area, it is time for me to move on.

Today, I will look at other options on how I can get things better and move toward being this better person.  Yes, it did make me sad, but things could have gone in a different direction.  I am better and things will be better.

My situation is not that bad, but it is mine!  No one can take that away from me.

Issues:
behind one month on mortgage due to paying for Walden
Sallie Mae behind
Walden owe can't get back in school until I pay for previous term
Liam hose fixed and flat tire

Tired of always being on the losing end.  When will I finally get it together?

I can only Go Up

My credit scores range from 506-561.  I am working on paying off all the things that I can.  For instance, there are 4 outstanding accounts that need to be paid.  I have a thought, I have money that I don't want to spend, but let build, borrow off of that money and pay it off.  Continue to save and put the money where it is most needed.  

There has been some excessive spending here and there, but if I continue to cook, that will help me save some cash.  I purchased a ledger, this should help me keep up with all of my finances.  I can make this work.  

Order for taking care of these bills, I sent in $200 today, the final payment will be mailed by the end of this month.  The total cost is $464.

Directv $464

ADT    $1064

Medical $900

Medical $574

Pay $200 everything month until they are all paid off.  I did pay for my braces, no more payments on that.  I paid for 2 months of storage.  Not paying that bill after the end of this month.  I have to do right by my finances.  Plus, the property management is working out.  The place has been rented out.  All extra monies, put in a good place.  I did sign up to do a outside yard sell.  This will give me a chance to sell the candles, but the weather really looks bad.  

I must not do wrong by the money, I keep saying that.  I don't want to end up with nothing to show for what I had.  I know I waste much, but I can't continue to do that.  Overall, I feel good about where I am going and what is going on.  

Things I've gotten rid of

Directv               140 a month

Caller Tunes

Braces paid in full  100 a month

Ancestry.com  

Things I need to get rid of

Wireless card 

Anyway that I can cut corners I will try, the only reason I haven't gotten rid of the home line is that it's connected to my security system.  

Plus, I am going to take some time off from school and Sallie Mae has been calling and calling.  Majority of my debt is student loans.  When looking at my credit report, I really don't have bad debt.  I do have a credit card with a $300 limit.  Paying off the above debts would help my score much.  My goal is to have at least a 650 credit score by the end of the year.  I do believe that can be done if I keep putting money where it should be.  As long as I owe, the money I make is not mine.  In my mind, when I get ready to spend put that money toward a debt.  

Paying off debt is very important to me and it may get obsessive.  Have to have something to worry over.  

Bills that I pay

mortgage

water

power

gas

Netflix

Hulu2

TMobile

The money that is left over should go to debt.  Did I mention I am going on a trip this summer.  I have to get this paid for soon.  

I haven't been the best financial planner, I know, but I can and will handle this issue.  

Here It Is

Things have been working out pretty well.  First, 1010 is rented out.  Good job!  There are little issues with the property, but they are getting fixed.  For instance, there's a hole under the sink, the heater grate needs to be replaced, and the gas meter has been pulled due to a leak.  Now, I have to find a certified plumber to fix it. 

3210 is empty, thank you for that.  There are a few things that need to be fixed and I'm going to get them fixed this week.  I have to go to court to get the rest of the money they owe from 3210.  That's a part of the job that I don't like. 

The issues have been eating out, that is where majority of the spending is done.  I'm trying to work on that.  I had a large amount of money to come in from working the morning lab and Saturday School.  Having a second job within the first one is good.  Making sure I do right by the money is the whole thing. 

There are doctors bills that I have and need to be paid so they don't end up on my credit report.  Checked my credit score and they are awful, the only choice I have is to go up.  Continue to pay off outstanding medical bills that are sitting and build credit.  I have automatic draft for all bills except the water.  Continue to save and put the money in the right place.  Looking to get a secured loan on 1,000.  What could I do with that money?  Pay off a large bill, I did get settlements for a couple of them.  Pay them off and not get anymore debt. 

The whole purpose of this blog is for me to get out of debt and it seems I do while for a moment and something happens.  I can't continue to sabatoge myself, that seems to be what I'm good at.  Falling for the set up.  The money that I'm spending on food could pay off a few bills.  That money put it toward the debt.  Instead of eating out, pay a bill. 

Questioning do I want to continue to live here?  A note was in my door, it was crazy.  Trying to live her until 40, let's see how that goes.   Can't continue to slight myself, I tend to be good at that.  I don't know what my future plans are and that's the problem I'm having getting out of school.  What do I do?  Financial Aid is exhausted.  Had to take out a personal loan for nothing because I haven't made any adequate gains.  Feel like giving up, but I've come to far.  What do I do with this degree?  I don't know.  What do I want to be when I grow up?  I don't know.  I've been teaching for 13 years, will I be a 50 year old business education teacher? 

Where do I go from here?  I love making candles and doing this real estate thing, they both bring me joy.  Have a d r period, in the front of my name has always been a dream of mine.  Will it be a dream deffered?  At this point, my mind is tired of thinking about school.  Once the decision is made there's no turning back. 

Decisions that need to be made
What are my future plans?  3 years, 5 years, 10 years from now
Do I want to continue to stay here?  For how long
What kind of career do I want? 
How will I acquire more properties?
What do I see myself doing?
How can I bring more happiness into my life?
Put the main thing first.
Buckle down and do what's right
Let the new me come out

This year has been filled with experiences and things I will never forget.  I have something that I am sitting on and I'm excited about it.  First, I don't want to let it go.  Do right by the money I have.  All bills are paid and life is getting better.  I'm learning about myself and realizing that everything is going to be alright.  Make sure I do what's right and just and most of all put the money in the right place and don't blow it. 

There's so much to say and I don't know where to start.  My personality is different and overall, I try to stay out of everybodies way if I can.  I have a spirit of expression.  I don't try it just comes out, but I want people to see me.  I said it, see me, here me, notice me, something.  I've been told my spirit is free.  I do want I want because that's what I want to do, not because this is what people are doing.  I'm my own self.  Right now, at a crossroads and don't know which way to go.  I feel like I'm maturing in so many respects, well have matured.  Things that many get upset about doesn't bother me.  Why because life goes on.  I learn, listen and move on. 

Not knowing what's going on or having a plan has caused me to be in school for this long.  No ultimate goal, well, that is to graduate, but no plan after graduation.  Is being a middle school business education teacher my end result?  No disrespect to those, but that seems so mandane, like there's more to lif than that.  Am I lazy?  Looking for a job is hard and waiting.  That another story within itself.  I guess I know the answer to my question, continue to look and apply to different jobs and that's the only way I will get another one.  Can't expect one to fall in my lap. 

Mid-life is serious especially when your learning and don't have a typical life.  As always thank you for reading. 

Fear Sets In

Things have been moving forward and I have been putting my money to good use.  I got my tax return and I have paid off many outstanding bills.  Those bills that were $50-$200, it feels good, but I am afraid that I will not have anything to show for the money that I have received.  I want to do different this year with my tax return.  Not believing in myself seems to be an issue.  I am looking forward to positive results and making my credit score move up.  It has nowhere else to go, but up.  That's for real.  I have set many goals and am making them work. 

There is a goal that I have made, that took some of the money I had away.  Also, I have had to make some adjustments in my clothes.  That is more money that has gone to upgrade my wardrobe, so that is worth it.  I have also been eating out.  Ran out of groceries so that leaves me to eat out.  Not a good choice, but it is what it is.  All bills have been paid, need to change where my power bill goes, it still goes to my mothers house.  That's an issue too.  Another thing, I have set up automatic draft for most of my bills, I need to do that with my power bill and my water if that is an option. 

It feels good to look in my account and see all of the money that I have saved.  Now to not blow it.  There are some things that I need to get, but they will help me to become a better person.  What will I do when I grow up?  Where will I go?  What will be my position in life?  Will I complete this program?  Do I want to have a leadership degree?  Will I stay in the classroom for my entire career?  These are all questions that I want to know the answer to, but I will wait to find out.  I will continue to put my best foot forward, grow in walk with God, and do what I can to make things better. 

I am doing property manangement for a house around the street.  I have posted it on socialserve.com and I think it should be rented by the end of the month.  This is dealing with those on government assistance so that is money that is coming regardless.  Now as far as the other house, they have to go.  Tired of trying to get you to pay something you know you need to pay.  I went ahead and filed for an eviction.  Everytime I do this, it makes me feel some kind of way.  Like I really don't want to, but I have no choice.  It is part of the game. 

Looking at my life there have been some ups and downs and for the most part I have survived them all.  Learning as I go and trying to make the best of it.  As for school, I have received a specialist degree, now what about this paper that I have to write.  I have been in the program for a very long time and it doesn't seem like it will ever end.  I know I can't compare myself to others, but for real, it is time to move on to something else.  Looking at my future plans, I know and have always known, I don't want to be in the classroom forever.  There were plans I made that didn't come to fruition, but that wasn't what God wanted for me.  Sometimes, he will bring you to it, but not through it because it wasn't for you.  That is something that I have had to realize in my life. 

Things are moving forward and it's because I have made some adequate changes in my life.  Not doing many of the things I used to do, not being around many of the people I used to be around has helped me to progress in my life.  Sometimes it is hard, but you have to limit your interactions with certain people and things in order to see progress.  That I have seen.  Ordering my steps has helped me greatly and I am proud. 

Now, continue to put my best foot forward, not look back on old things.  Get over my art of sabatoge and continue to love and embrace the people that love and cherish me.  I am thankful for everything that has happened in my life, the good and the bad.  Thankful for the people that I have encountered over the years, because without them I wouldn't be where I am today.  Life has a purpose for you.  As long as you move forward and do what is right, things will fall into place.  What I'm realizing is that we want to be worldly and not Godly, that tends to pose a problem no matter what.  Love yourself.  Don't spend all you have!  Put yourself around people that are movers and shakers.  Give back to your community!  These things will help you grow into the person that you are meant to be. 

Subtle Changes are the Best

Yesterday, I posted and I am glad.  I have said it time and time again, I will do better by my blogs and I try to, but of course life gets in the way.  While writing yesterday, I had major thoughts, no I didn't express them, but the thought was there.  I was told that, it's the thought that counts!  Maybe my thoughts can help someone out in the long run. 

There are several things going on in my life and one of them is getting closer to God.  I will admit that I haven't been the perfect christian and know I am not now, but my walk is getting better and better.  I have gone to Sunday School every Sunday this year.  (Sunday School is my thing, I love it because it's personal and you get to share and express).  I have gone to church twice, plus, I have started a workout class at church on Tuesday nights.  It's fun and a way to relax and it's not strenious, something light and to the point.  While going to church, I realized that these are people that have known me my entire life.  I have been blessed to be a member of this church since the day I was born.  I owe that to Betty Jackson, my mother, for this I am thankful! 

Walking this path was not promised to be easy, but it will lead you in the right direction.  In saying this, paying attention to my life and the things I have accomplished or set out to do, I have not completed many of my goals.  Maybe those are the things that were not meant for me to do.  As stated before, my life has had many financial issues, but I press on.  You know why, because life moves on regardless of my wanting it to or not. 

Selling items on Craigslist was a blessing, but did I do right by that money?  No, I didn't.  What did I do with it?  Bought fast food which is not healthy or a good choice for me.  I did spend some of it on a friend that lost his father, I bought food for them and other household items.  So, it all wasn't spent in vain. 

Here I am today thinking about what I can do to better myself and my future!

1. Continue to get closer to God
2. Start and end my day with a bible passage
3. Sell all items in storage so that will be one less bill
4. Take pictures of the storage unit and post it on Craigslist
5. Take the refrigerators out of storage and sell them for scrap metal
6. Take photos of candles and post them on Craiglist
7. Extra cash that I make put it towards an outstanding bill
8. Get more organized in my life and realize that I can do all things with God that strengthens me
9. Understand that I am an individual and regardless, I am someone
10. Put my best foot forward at all times
11. Remove toxic situations and people from my life
12. Continue to do good things and be around good people

There are more things that I can say, but my mind is somewhat clouded.  I did set up automatic bill pay with majority of my bills.  Now, I think all that is left is the power bill.  Looking at the money I have and how I use it, it is crazy.  I get upset because I have bills to pay and instead of doing what I should, I do nothing.  Tired of having to pay late fees, it gets old. 

I forgot that I knew how to arch my own eyebrows, so I bought a tool to do that with.  That saves 10 a month.  Cutting corners anyway possible.  My mother buys me groceries so that's one less bill I have to pay.  My refrigerator is full, that is a blessing and I receive it. 

 As always, things will be alright in the long run.  What I'm realizing is the things we deem important really aren't.  Life, love, happiness, and a relationship with God is all that counts.  Do your best to get closer to the things that are important.  You and me will be alright. 

Growing Older and Making Mature Decisions

I have sold dressers out of my storage unit and made 100.  I also sold all of Tanner's things for 70.  This was all done on Craigs List for free.  That made me feel good.  There is something going on in my life and I can't truly explain.  I have to make an adult decision about something and I know what the answer needs to be.  Prioritize is the most important thing.  I will admit that money has been a big issue for me throughout my life and spending a large amount on something that isn't a necessity now is not a bright idea.  So that answers my question to myself.  Plus, I have this sense of worry on my soul and I don't know how to shake it, is it because of me not having a thyroid, not believing in God, or me wanting to have a issue?  I think it's the first and last answer. 

I am behind on my mortgage by a month, I do have the loan modification papers that need to be filled out.  There are many companies that I owe and instead of putting the money toward them, I just don't want to pay anyone.  One good thing that I have done is set up automatic drafts for TMobile, Atomas Energy, and a few others, I can't recall them at the moment. 

There was a proposal giving to me, I may take up the offer.  You only live once is what I heard.  I am growing up and need to make adult decisions that will benefit my future.  One thing that I do know is I don't like paying a mortgage, that's the largest bill that I have.  It's not cute other, having a car note either. 

Getting rid of cable was a big decision for me.  I have Roku it costs 49 plus tax, now I don't have that monthly bill of 120 plus per month.  I did sign up for Netflix and I have the option to receive videos that costs 15 per month.  There is a channel that you can purchase on Roku called PlayonTV for 50, this is a one time fee.  With this channel you can get majority of the local cable stations. 

There are positive financial things going on in my life, I just need to focus and keep it moving.  I may have the selling bug.  I want to get rid of things that are of no importance to me.  For instance, that darn storage.  I am constantly late on my payments so that is more I'm paying in late fees.

I bought a small piggy bank and have been putting in dollars and coins.  When that is full the money will go toward a low debt.  Get it together Ms. Jackson. 

2013 Is Coming Fast

I do believe that I only used this blog twice this year and my finances of come to pieces.  There have been so many things that have taken place since the last time to wrote a post. 

For instance: 
Lost house of Parkchester, still haven't seen about that.  the insurance has lapsed and I haven't taken the time to do anything.  I felt like I failure and didn't and really haven't talked about this to anyone.
Direct tv disconnected
ADT from Oneal Street
Storage want to put everything on Craigslist or something, behind, next month things will be auctioned off, that isn't happening
Marybelle brakes and running hot
Liam air conditioning and loud noise
Wachovia
US Dept of Education
Tax Lien
Knology

On a lighter note, I do know where my money is going and that is a good thing.  I actually see now, where I didn't before.  Spending isn't a big thing.  I know where my money is going.  Not just wasting cash.  Not eating out anymore, which is a good thing. 

Now to put the money toward bills that have been lingering for a while.  Lossing the house to me made me feel like a total failure, as if there was no recovery.  Then I was told that just like I got that house and the other one, I can get another one.  Since it was put to me like that, I completely understand.  The money I receive should be used to help build up my future, not wasted on things that aren't important! 

This period has been a learning one for me and it is time that I make changes that will benefit me in the long run.  Not having a cable bill has helped me put that money toward other things.  Time keeps on moving and in 3 years I will be 40 years of age.  There has been so many money that I have wasted on things that have no value.  Many of which I no longer own and don't know what happened to them.  Life, true is a journey, but it is all how you make it.  Live and learn and don't hold on to the past.  Grow from it and become a better person. 

Daily I am learning what and what not to do.  I am going to make mistakes, but as long as I learn things will be fine!  No, I am not embarrassed of my happenings, I am here for you to learn from me.  It's ok, life goes on! 

I will not be away for long.  Like I always say, things tend to work themselves out, they always do.