Wednesday, December 13, 2017

2017 is Almost Over and What Will 2018 Bring?

This year has been full of many positive things. 

For instance:

  1. several student loans have been paid off
  2. increase on both credit cards
  3. one credit card changed from a secured card to unsecured
  4. credit scores have increased but stayed the same
I see what needs to be done and it's time to do it.  Tired of being in this RAT RACE.  There has got to be a better way.  I've learned many things on this financial journey and all I have to do is continue to grow and build from what I already know.  

I've purchased: 
  1. Roth IRA
  2. Traditional IRA
  3. Vanguard Account
Having 12 years until I retire has really put many things in perspective for me.  

Things that need to change or get fixed: 
  1. new front door
  2. security door
  3. hot water heater fixed
  4. sink replaced in kitchen
  5. drip in sink in bathroom
I've been driving my moms truck since April, it's sad because I have 2 cars and both of them have the same issues which is electrical.  There has to be a better way!  It seems I get close and things just fall apart, I guess this is what you call living.  

For 2018, these are my goals.
  1. Pre-qualify for a new home:  3 bedroom/2 bath/ 2 car garage and much space
  2. 2009-2012 Chevy Tahoe
  3. Move from Fisk
  4. Rent out Fisk with a Property Manager
  5. Oneal Street Property Manager
  6. 2 more student loans paid off
  7. saving $1000 a month
  8. travel some place once a month
  9. increase monthly payments to IRAs
  10. Get our passports
There are so many things that need to be addressed in my life and all I can do is work to make it better.  Yes, I get emotional and hold on to past mistakes, but what for?  It really serves no purpose at all.  I'm 42 years old and still growing and learning how to be better.  My life isn't a mistake and the only thing that I can do is work to be a better version of myself.  

I'm thankful for everything the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  This journey isn't for not.  I'll continue to grow to be better.  

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Feeling Some Kind of Way

Things are really good.  My emotions will not let me enjoy it.  In my mind, all I see is the kinda, shoulda, but I didn't and now I'm here.

To date, I've paid off 4 student loans and my credit scores are still in the same boat as before I started tackling the issues.  The problem is my credit cards, instead of putting money toward them or not using them at all I do.  Plus, with there's a delay in when things are reported.

I paid off 1/2 of the debt with Walden.  This will be paid off completely by the end of the year.  The issues that I am having come from making sure I do he right things with the money I have.  Car still in the shop.  There are things that I need to do, but can't seem to focus on nothing.

Good Things
Fascia board replaced on house
Fico score 671
32 days of thankfulness that I'm posting on Twitter

There are several things that need to be done, but I don't know where to start.  My blog has no order, but my daily issues dealing with financial freedom.

Eating Out
Not doing right by myself

This post is a ramble of emotions and concerns and still I am not doing what is needed.  I want to pay for my next piano lessons, but haven't called to do that.  School has started and I have 5 sessions that I've already paid for, now I have to schedule my yoga time.  Something has to give.

I get bothered because I eat out, bothered because the house is a wreck, bothered because I'm tired, just bothered.  Overall, I do have a plan to move and do better.  Better, lifestyle changes, body, emotions, just different and starting somewhere is the key.

My mind is cluttered like my home.  It seems, I can't get myself to do anything worth nothing.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Getting Things Done

Another Navient loan has been paid off.  It's moving slowly, but working itself out.  Truly can't believe that it's taken me this long to decide that paying these debts off is really worth it.

Fed Loan Servicing $3,000, $71,000, and $116,000
Walden $6,447
Navient $10,000 and $11,000

No, I don't have a PhD, was close, but ran out of financial aid.  Told myself that I wasn't going to complete the program, now, I'm in a better place and know I can do it.

At one point, looking at my student loan debt made me sad.  Without it, I wouldn't have the career that I do.  Or be able to sustain my lifestyle, for this I'm thankful.

Increase in Navy Federal card, went from secured $500 to unsecured $1000
Increase in First Premier card, went from $300 to $450
Started back making candles

Things are looking up and honestly, I don't know how I feel.  Sometimes I think that I have a predisposition to being sad.  Enough of that.  Don't take good things well at all.  Always looking for the negative in every situation.

In order to move to a better environment, these debts will have to be paid off.  No matter what.  I have a plan and it will work.

I've also been reading financial management books to help with doing better with my cash.

The Fed Loan $3,000 will be paid off before the end of the year.  I'll achieve financial freedom, working my plan and not losing track will help.  I got this.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Who's Life is It?

That's the big question.  Of course it is mine, but it seems like it is my debt collectors.  As long as I owe people, the money I make isn't mine.  With that being said, I have hit the ground running paying of all of these student loan bills. 
This is really a big time in my life.  Having this 3 year old that I am responsible for and wanting more for me life has added a push o my life.  There are many things that I have accomplished, but there is so much more.  

Paying things off is a priority.  What's funny is that I have extra money to put toward my debt, that I didn't realize I had before.  Maybe my mindset has changed who knows?

Things are getting better, and I truly see that!  Now, to put things in action and continue to do right by my money, myself, time, and others.  

The Road to Financial Freedom

Fed Loan                         3006.72  August 200 a month
Allied Account Services  6372 Walden University 50 a month 
Navient                         11,420.16 payment arrangement 200 until meet original debt (these debts are combined)
                                    12,297.98  payment arrangement 200 until meet original debt
Fed Loan                      71,066.74   service loan forgiveness  60 (these debts are combined to be paid for 10 years and loan will be forgiven)

All together, about 500 a month I'm paying to eliminate this debt.  Much of this needs to be

paid off in order for me to move.  Which I'm truly looking forward to.  Will not have extreme 
mortgage payment.  No longer will I be a victim to debt.    

As you see, I have the most student loan debt.  With that being said, paying off these debts 

makes me feel like I can do anything.  When a debt has been paid, I feel a sense of relief.  One thing down and a few more to go.  

Having all of this debt has really made me feel like a loser, failure, and inadequate.  When my credit is looked at people say, "You really don't have bad credit, if you didn't have those student loans."  That's the truth.  I have several student loans, which have been consolidated.  I left out the loans that are prior to 1998, this will allow me to qualify for Teacher Loan Forgiveness.  

The sad thing is I really didn't have much time to complete my PhD.  I am everything, but my dissertation.  This where all of the debt came into play.  I've contacted Walden, but I know regardless, the 6372 must be paid off before school is even thought about.  What I'm thinking is close to 15000 is needed in order for me to get back n and complete my PhD.  

During my depressive state, completing my PhD was not an option.  Completely decided that I didn't deserve it, it wasn't worth it, and what is the point.  In my previous life, I never liked for things to be incomplete.  And here we are!  

Once I got over myself and things started looking up, the thought came that I am totally worth it.  

Positive Things

Vanguard Account
Roth IRA
Traditional IRA
Personal Capital 

In all honesty, things really aren't that bad.  I can take care of myself and my baby, so we are good.


Started back making candles (Betty's Only)
My health is better, taking Nature Throid instead of Synthroid
Changed my lifestyle
Interacting more
Taking piano lessons
Jekyll Island
Hot Yoga class
Chucky Cheese
Swim lessons
Paying off debt
He's happy and healthy

Working on myself is the best thing I can do for everyone!  Once, I put myself first things started changing for the better.  Honestly, I take things personal and that prevents me from interacting for real, but overall, I am good.  Let me rephrase that, we are good!


Sunday, June 25, 2017

Things are Getting Better

Today, I opened up an account with Ally Online Banking and I'm really looking forward to building money with this account.  It will not be easy to withdraw money, monthly, I will deposit $250 to build it so I can do some awesome with that money.

There are always so many things going on in my life that I tend to be a little scattered.  Hence, why I may not have achieved financial freedom.  Go figure.

Functioning vehicle
Trees removed from my backyard
Back of house finished
Fence fixed
Fascia board replaced entire house

Banking accounts
Navy Federal
Ally: deposit $250 or more monthly

There is really no true focus in my life.  There has been something going on where I can not focus.  It's really sad.  Or is it that I have so many things that I want to get accomplished that it's allowing me to be all over the place.

Goal for the rest of the month
Stop wasting money
Pay off Navient $1017
Cook and stop wasting food

Navient:  $1017 pay off the end of the month
Navient charged off :  $11,000 and $12,000 200 monthly
Federal Loan Servicing $3125  100 monthly
Medical:  $5683 25 monthly
Allied (Walden):  $6447 25 montly

I've ordered some candle wax to make candles for Betty's Only to get that back up and running.  That will be a way to make a little more cash.  Plus, it's fun.  I truly have no organization about my life, that's sad, but I am who I am, and I'm going to be who I be.

Using Digit and Ally will allow me to do the things that I need to do in order to have financial freedom.  This has been one of the hardest things I've ever done, but determination is the key to this all.  I can do it.  I know I can.  I checked my retirement account and it's looking pretty good.  Along side of my 403b, we will be alright.  Adding my Vanguard account and purchasing a property here and there, things are looking better.

Things to do
Continue to make money work for me, putting all extra cash toward debts and saving.  It can be done at the same time.
Get rid of things that don't serve me anymore, regardless of what it may be.
Believe in myself
Never give up
Focus on the good things in my life
Give thanks constantly
Clean and purify my space, surroundings, and mind
get the backyard and house like it should be.

I got this and it's alright!  Everything is alright, trust that!  Make the subtle changes and continue to believe in myself.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Another One Bites the Dust

Thank you for allowing me to focus on what's important, paying off this debt that I have accumulated due to student loans.  I've had this blog for a really long time and there have been years that I posted once or twice or maybe not at all.  Looking over the blog itself, there have been substiantial changes, but not to the point where I have eliminated most or even half of the debt.  Truly sad, so really is financial success mine?

That's a great question to ask myself.  All I must do is continue to pay off these student loans and do right by my life.  So with that being said I paid off another Navient loan.  I'm really excited to have done so.  My focus is different, is it because I'm older, have this little boy, realized I've made many financial mistakes and the only way that my finances and or credit score are going to improve is put the money where it needs to go?  On these debts.

Navient  $1017 paid off by October 2017
Federal Loan  $3125  paid off by October 2018 or sooner
Allied Servicing  $6447  not sure when this will be paid off

There are others, but these are the ones that are the least.

Payment arrangements, $200 a month for 4 years to equal $10,000.  They have a 10% interest rate, but since they are working with me, this isn't a problem.  These have added penalties and fees which they are willing to wave.
Navient $11,000
Navient $12,000

I don't remember if I stated that I refinanced my home to a 15 year mortgage and the payment only went up about $50.  Very glad of this.  Probably will refinance again to a 10 year mortgage, but that will be a few years down the line.

Making better financial decisions has been hard, but any money that I have been getting extra I've been putting toward the debt.  This has helped substantially.

My ultimate goal is to move to what I want.  I did things a little backward, but it's time to do something different.  By the time I retire, this little home will be paid for that is a great thing to look forward to.

I must make sure that I continue this momentum and pay these things off.  To date two debts are clear and free, now three more.  Yes, there are more, but it makes it better looking at the smaller ones first.

eating out

This is a major problem.  Purchasing quick food while we are out.  The plus is it's quick, the negative is it's not healthy.  Better choices.

This blog should be used as accountability, but I don't do that.  Thank you for reading.  This journey has been a hard one and it's not over.  There is so much that will be achieved.  Before I know it, these above mentioned debts will be a thing of the past.

Ultimately, I must believe in myself and do right by my money, it's mine to do with it what I will.  

Saturday, June 10, 2017

It's Been a Long Time Coming

This feels so abandoned.  Like always, haven't been here in a really long time.  Overlooked previous posts and boy, I talked a great game and haven't done anything to make any situation better.  Now that's what one would call sad.  There have been many positive things that have happened over the year.  For instance, started seriously paying off debt.  I mean seriously, taking it slow, but getting it done.

Let's see:
Paying off students loans
Started reading Mr. Money Mustache
Opened a Vanguard account
Purchased two IRAs
Refinanced to 15 year mortgage
Got increase on credit

Navient    380
Navient    1057
Fed Loan  3085
Allied Ser 6372 (This has to be paid off before I can re-enroll to complete Phd)
Navient    11,000 charged off
Navient    12,000 charged off

At this point, I feel somewhat obsessive about paying off these debts.  It's been too long for me to be saying financial freedom is mine and I haven't done anything to be financially free.  In other words, financial freedom hasn't been mine because I haven't paid off anything that I should have a long time ago.

With that being said, the 2 Navient loans will be paid off by the end of the year.  The Fed Loan will be paid off by March 2018.  The main thing is having most of the debt free and clear by December 2018.  The time has come for me to move, well us to move.  Better place, better environment for the both of us.  It's funny how we tend to live our lives.  For instance, I've had the cars I've wanted, but not the house I've wanted.

Things are looking great, just a matter of doing right by the money I receive, no more wasting it.  Do better is what I keep telling myself, do better.  Retirement is about a decade away.  It's time to do what's right.  It just dawned on me that I'll only have a few more years to pay on my house once I retire.  I should be able to put more on the house or refinance to a 10 year mortgage at some point.  In the meantime, credit scores need to be improved.  I've been working on those for years and nothing.  They'll go up, but drop in a matter of a month.  I'm going to keep working on these things and know that financial success is mine.  :)

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

It's the Middle of the Year

Spending, spending, spending....that's what I've been doing this summer.  At the same time, I've been getting things done.

Candle room
carpet taking up
floor done

carpet taken up
floor done

Liam has been put in the shop.  He will not be out until he is fixed.  This will save getting another vehicle.  Plus, I got some flowers for the front yard and they have added appeal to the yard.  There are still things that need to be done, but I'm glad I decided to get over whatever it is and get these things done.

Getting things done feels really good.  Being in the middle of my life and having this baby has really made things different.  Putting money to good use is always worth it.

What needs to be done
refinance home
pay off 1532
pay off 3295
put up 1000 every month
pay for his school for July

Entering a new stage of my life and I'm looking forward to it.  Every day is new and I haven't been living it like that.  Now is different.  I have over 175,000 worth of student loan debt and it angers me.  All I can do is work to make my life better.  Take every day one at a time.

Monday, June 20, 2016

All I Can Do is Live

I had to realize that I have not been in a good place for a really long time.  Chaos all around.  In my mind, home, car, job, life, social interactions, chaos.  Stepping back understanding the problem and working towards making it better. 

The house looked as if it had thrown up.  Things everywhere, clothes, things, all over the place, no order, none.  I started in the back of the house and thinned out.  Got rid of clothes, shoes, papers, things.  Moved things around.  I also started to decorate.  I have been in the house for a long time and I haven't enjoyed it.  Haven't made it comfortable, home.  I know these things don't matter, but they add warmth to the space.  You can actually walk throughout the house and nothing is on the floor.  Everything has a place.  More or less.  It feels good to finally have a clean home. 

In the meantime, during the decorating, I have been redoing each room.  My room is done.  Now the guest bedroom.  It had to be Kilz.  That was done today.  Tomorrow, it will be painted.  Looking forward to it.  Once that is done, the carpet will be removed and the hardwood sanded and varnished.  There will be a full sized bedroom set put in there. 

Next, his room will be done just like the guest bedroom.  Finally, the carpet will be taken up in the hallway and the hardwood done too.  Making the space comfortable while I'm here and ready for the next tenant after I leave. 

The front of the house is going to take the most work.  The floor has shifted in the kitchen.  There needs to be a new counter top and cabinets.  The floor needs to be done too.  I didn't mention a backsplash.  Something pretty.  The front room carpet needs to be taken up and floor under needs to be fixed.  There's a hump in it.  Not too sure about what type of flooring I would like for that room.  Will have to think about that. 

In the front yard, I planted a flower garden and it is really pretty.  They are perennials so they will come back every year.  Slowly, but surely I am appreciating the things that I have done in my home.  It is mine and it might as well be what I want. 

As far as my debt, I haven't done anything with it.  It is still there.  I haven't checked CreditKarma.  Nothing. 
Student loans
Medical bills

I have been spending money on nothing really, but not on what is important.  Not at all.  What is the problem?  I just don't feel like doing what it takes to get out of this financial turmoil that I have gotten myself into. 

What I told myself is that I would look at CreditKarma and see where I stand.
Contact all debtors and set up payment arrangements
Continue to save $1000 a month

At the end of the year, I wanted to purchase a new car with the money saved.  Purchase land, pay off debt, put it toward my mortgage.  I really don't know what to do. 

What I can do is put $400 toward my smallest debt in July.  This will allow me to get something paid off in at least 2-3 months. 

Life is about learning from your mistakes and doing what it takes not to repeat them.  I created this debt and it's up to me to eliminate it. 

Plus, I got a part time job.  I do enjoy it.  That helps.  Focus is what I need and having a clean home does help.  I know that moments matter, but they fade away.  I must do what's best for me! 

Monday, April 18, 2016

It's a Journey to be Filled with Accomplishments

This financial journey is not the easiest one to be on.  I'll be the first to admit that!  It's a roller coaster, filled with ups and down, flips and flops, curves, and slides, but it is all worth it.  It seems that it isn't but it is.  As you know, my biggest issue is all of this student loan debt that I have accumulated over the last years and still haven't completed this PhD, go figure.  In my mind, I'm over it, but I know this is something that I need to complete one way or another.  I do know that my topic will have to be started all over due to the program not being in use anymore.  Knowing what I know now, I may not have consolidated my loans because they fall off after 20 years.  Never was told that!

Working on getting the house in order.  Still need to get the last 2 rooms redone plus the hallway and I'll be finished with the back of the house.  Then to the kitchen.  It's a work in progress and I can do it.  When the dust settles, I will inquire about refinancing my house.  When that is done, all I will have to do is pay for 15 more years instead of 20.  The house will be paid for by the time my baby is 15.  That will be a complete blessing. 

Paying things off seems to be the story of my life.  Never seem to get there.  Always something.

Medical:  5,683 (200 a month)
Walden:  6,597 (75 a month)
Navient:  10,429 (75 month)
      11,162 (25 month)
Fed Loan Serv:  172,475 (25 month)

By the end of the month the medical will be down to $4083, I may put half of it toward that debt.  Depending on how things are looking at the end of the year.  Walden should be paid off by December 2017.  The goal is to eliminate as much of this debt as I can and still not accumulated anymore.  That will be the hard part.  Looking at the debt like this makes me feel great that I can see it, but knowing that I did this to myself makes me feel some kind of way.  Hindsight is 20/20. 
Having the Mini Cooper is great, but now that I have this little boy, it is a little too small for the both of us.  Really looking into getting a new vehicle at the end of the month.  Paying cash for it, no more than $12,000 I want to spend.  Also, was supposed to go to the salvage yard today to see about getting rid of Liam.  He's been in the front yard since last year.  It's time to let go. 

In my mind, that will be the start of letting go of many other things in my life.  I feel stifled, holding on to past things that serve no purpose in my life.  Let go of things that wish me no good, because I am blocking blessings. 

Monday, March 28, 2016

Life Goes on no Matter What

Here I am!  That is something that I am so glad to be.  You live and learn and that's what I've been doing.  Beating myself up over past mistakes, decisions, choices, anything.  Overall, just not happy with my life.  That is so sad!  What can I do?  Except my life and move on, because time waits for no man.  I realize that over all of these years, I have wasted so much time, money, and energy.  Where would I be if I saved more money than I spent?  Not in this place.

Beating myself up is something that I do on a daily basis.  Most of the time I compare myself to others and I know that is not what God intended for any of us.  No one can walk in another's shoes.  Everyone has a different path to follow and what is for me is for me only.

As for My Financial Success, it has been a constant struggle, from student loans to other issues, I can't seem to win for losing.

Things that need to be handled
Land Rover sitting in front yard since last year
student loan debt 172,000
other student loans 30,000
credit scores  576 and 585

Things that I'm working on
getting house situated:  2 bedrooms painted, carpet taken up, hardwood under carpet
hallway:  carpet taken up, floor done
kitchen:  cabinets replaced, new counter top, flooring
new bedroom set

Where did I go wrong?  Not putting money to good use, not enjoying life.  I don't try to live like the Jones', but sometimes I feel I don't deserve things.  Right now, I am working on putting my money to good use.  Also, having this little boy has changed my life for the good.  I actually have saved money for him, that I should have been saving for myself a long time ago.  What changes life will bring.

Working on bringing up my credit scores.  Paying things off one at a time.  I learned something, I shouldn't have consolidated my loans, I had 2 to fall off due to them being 20 years old.  Go figure!

Something that I have learned, I am not my credit score.  Having a good one does seem to help make life a little better.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

New Year, Same Old Thing

Happy Happy New Year!  There are so many good and not so good things going on.  Let's see my credit score has dropped something serious.  I have paid off Marybelle, that's $450 to debt.  Things are working themselves out.  2015 was a different year for me.  Having to adjust to being a new mom says it all.  I never thought this would be my reality, but it is.

Looking back over all the years.  The fun, sex, relationships, useless things that have gone and really didn't mean anything.  What was the purpose?  Back then, I should have been an international traveler.  Instead of trying to have all the sex, or make this relationship work.  I should have been purchasing real estate and filling up my passport.  Which by the way, I haven't gotten the first stamp in it.  Go figure.

Being 40 has made me realize many things about myself.

  • loner
  • kind
  • giver
  • caring
  • emotional
  • lovely
  • adventurer
Just to name of few.  Right now, of course, I am where I thought I wouldn't be.  Living in one of my rental properties understanding that it is time to move on to something else.  

What have I been doing to make things better?
  • pay off student loans prior to 1995 so I can get teacher loan forgiveness
    • 1638 and 3600
  • contact private loans that are with collection agency to see about updating credit information
  • working on getting house ready for when I move
  • paying off credit cards 
  • pay off medical bills
  • save something monthly
Last year was really different.  Getting adjusted and making sure that I had enough.  Losing myself and now trying to get her back has been a journey.  Also, yesterday, my new furnace got put in, that was $1400.  Not thinking that I deserve better has been an issue, but overall I been staying above water.  

This credit score has dropped below 600 and that's truly sad.  Wanted and needing to move is something that is seriously on my to-do list.  Having this baby has really put many things in perspective.  Also, like I stated earlier, so much time, energy, and money wasted on worldly items.  Where did it get me, not where I thought I would or should be.  

Another thing, not graduating with a Phd has done something to me.  All of this student loan debt and to not have a degree, what a waste of time, energy, and other peoples money.  Now, what do I do?  Suck it up and make a change, where change is due.  

Today, I will write a letter to the credit agencies where these default student loans are and see about making a payment arrangement to bring these debts current and put them in good standing.  It seems I'm always robbing Peter to pay Paul, but I'm here and I'm making it, is all that matters.  

Not going to worry about past decisions, or mistakes.  All I can do is stay current and make it better.  Swimming in debt will not be my future.  Things will get better and I'm determined to do it.  

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Life is Really Different

As I lay here I am thinking that my thoughts, actions, place of interest have changed.  Does it have something to do with the little one or my place in life period?  Who knows, but for whatever it's worth, they have changed.  Along with a few other things.  My thoughts are on retirement, as I am closer to ending than beginning.  Who would have figured?  Not I said the cat, but it is slowly appearing.  There are ends that need to be tied up, things that need to be handled.  Chaos is my friend and I don't know how to shake him.  He's always there lurking in the corner on the floor, just chaos.  These are things that I have brought on myself, fixing them or getting a handle of them is the first step.

Interested in learning about the stock market, wanting to diversify my portfolio and get a handle on my and his finances.  This summer I neglected a few debts.  My fault, not because I didn't have the money, just didn't pay.  Go figure.  August is going to be filled with catching up and replacing money.

Things needed to do
Get carpet taken up in hallway replaced with wood or pargo (spelled)
Candle room painted
Central heat fixed
Flooring in kitchen
Door candle room
Door hallway

Pay car note
Call Navient
Credit score situated
Sell Land Rover
Get Mini fixed
Refinance house

I am closer to retiring and there is so much that I haven't done.  Looking into investing, learning some new things.  There are many years left, God willing and I need to get things in order.  Now is the time to begin.  Take it slow and sort out my money.  Mutual funds, stocks, things of that nature.  Work with me as I learn.  I'm going to take it slow.