Monday, May 4, 2015

Never Could I Ever

Never would I have thought my life would be like this.  Single mother, living in the hood, foreclosure, car issues.  Never would I have thought this would be my life, well it is.  Things could be worse, but my choices have led me to this point in my life.  Letting go of people and situations can and will make my life much better.  Getting through it seems to be the issue.  No, it doesn't feel good.  How can I make it better.  Pray, not hold on to the past, forgive myself and let live.  All of these things are easier said than do.  I've paid off two things that have appeared on my credit report one was for $80 and the other $58.  I'm glad that I'm able to handle these debts.

Now, the student loans, the are really a bother.  I wasn't saying that when my schooling was being paid for.  Don't want this for my son.  It's truly crazy.  The lowest loan is for $1794 and the highest is $16,987.  I owe more than $150,000 in student loans.  I said it and I probably said it before.  This is awful.

In the meantime, I want to save $100,000 in a fifteen years.  In order to do that I must save $555.55 a month to total 6,666.67 a year.  Can this be done?  I think so, it's a matter of doing what's right and not falling short of that.  No extras.  At the same time, I have this debt that must be paid off.

Something that is good is my car will be paid off by the end of the year.  That means an extra $450 will be added to my monthly income.  I'm excited about that.  Will I get another car note?  No, not anytime soon.  That money will go to paying these student loans off.  Still I need to see where I can cut a few more corners.  Where there's a will there's a way.

Determination, motivation, self-support and love all need to be my friends.  I am down on myself because of my past decisions, but overall, I am somebody that had hopes and dreams.  Something along the way has snuffed those out.  I will not be that person, I will get back on it.  There are things that need to be done and in order to do them I have to get in a better place

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Close, but No Horseshoes

One of my credit reports went down, but the other one stayed the same.  I'm under 600 again, but the other is still 611.  On a lighter note, I have paid off two things on my credit report.  Credit Karma is free and it really has helped me see what my credit scores are and how I can make them better.  Everything is in one place, it provides contact information and that is truly helpful.  

I feel like a pessimist, the glass is half empty.  There seems to always be something.  One thing after another.

-house painted
-grass cut
-flooring (hallway, front room, and kitchen)
-counter top
-fascia board -trees surrounding my home

The story of a property owner.  To be tied up with all of this and little money coming in.  There always seems to be something.  More money going out then coming in.  I'm always into something, never doing the right thing.  Now, I have someone else to be concerned with, this little boy that I have to make sure has diapers, is fed, clothed, housed, and taken care of.

Did I mention I have two vehicles, both under the weather.  It's always something in my life.  I guess that's what liven does to you.  My truck, I don't know what's wrong with it.  The battery will not hold a charge, it's leaking oil and overall running hot.  My car, the seats will not move.  I feel like a faucet with a slow leak.

On top of all of this there are several student loans that constantly call even if I've made my monthly payment.
Marybelle 3500
Student loans 160,000
House 54,000

I have a house that needs to be rented, I'm overall tired.  Tired of doing this alone, I need help, someone on my side to say hey, you're doing a good job.  Things will be alright.  I once had ambitions and goals, where they have gone, I don't know.  A part of me feels like a failure, the other part tired, tired of all of the bills, debt, issues.  Just tired.

This August I'll be 40 years old.  During the year of 40, I want to move into a better home.  Tired of being in the hood.  This little boy deserves better, I deserve better.  I have been in this house long enough.  The thing is where do I start to find someplace that I would love?  There are a few things that I want for my home.  There are new homes all throughout Columbus, GA, but they aren't what I want for myself.  I want so much more, but how can I want more when I'm not happy with what I have?  That's a good question.

I've been writing this and have accumulated more and more debt.  The title of this blog is financial success, but I don't have any.

I'll continue to pay off the debt that I have and work on making my credit score better.  By this time next year I'll have things in order where we can move into a better neighborhood.  This is my life, the decisions that I have made have led me to this person that I am today.  No I'm not happy with them, but I'm here and I am glad to be here.  Still learning daily and all I can do is better.

Get house in order
Pay off Marybelle
Move to a better house/neighborhood
Higher credit score
Cars fixed

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I Don't Know What to Say or Feel

My credit score is slowly going up, my scores are 612 and 608.  I've contacted my student loans and have been making payments monthly.  Something is better than nothing.  Really looking forward to my scores going up more.  I have been spending money on food and other things.  I also came up with an idea that I want to save $100,000.  The number came from nowhere, but that's what I want.  I've been teaching for 15 years and I have another 15 years to go before I retire.  There has been much money that I have wasted over the years.  Now, I have someone else to live for.  Not that my life isn't of the greatest importance, because it is.  I think back over the years and the things I've done, haven't done, places I've been, places I haven't been, but overall, all the money that has gone through my hands.  Throughout all of this I have lost some of myself.  Life happens, yes it does, but it's a matter of how one handles it.  Where she has gone I don't know.  The ambition, motivation, determination is out the window.  Did the pregnancy do it, or just the experiences that lead up to the pregnancy?  Really and truly I can't tell you.  Where's that girl?  The fun loving, no holds barred lady that would try anything once (within perimeters) has left the building and I want her back.  

When I look at this property that I live in there are so many things that need to be done, inside and out.  It makes me sad.
fascia board
flooring (humps and slumps)
counter top
removal of carpet in hallway
paint candle room
cage around central heat and air
cover over central heat and air thermostat
remove trees or limbs in the backyard

The house isn't perfect, plus my mortgage is more than it should be.  I paid more for the house, young is all I'm going to say about that.  Plus, a new mattress, it's so sad.  I want this house to be presentable, a new paint job wouldn't hurt either.  Quality.

I think very deeply sometimes more than I should.  Wanting to move into a new home, will I be able to afford it?  Need to rent out the other house.  Feel like a failure most of the time.  Like I stated earlier, the ambition is gone, where did it go?  I always ask myself that.

Other issues, cars, can't seem to get a vehicle that doesn't have a problem.  The Mini Cooper has issues with the seats, I can't let the passengers seat back it's very close to the dashboard.  I did get the Land Rover started, now it needs to go into the shop to find out what's wrong with out.  Always money  coming out.   Regardless, I stay above water, which I am very glad of.

Don't know where I am going or what I'm doing, but I do know that my credit score is getting better, I have a handsome baby boy, my health is great, and I'm still hear.

I called several phone numbers that called my house phone.  One was from AmSouth bank, they stated they were failing a judgement against me.  This is an account that I have disputed several years ago, that wasn't mine.  When will it appear on my credit report is a good question?  Another account has appeared on my report too.  It's only for $80, I'll pay for that next month.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Credit Report Gets Better

 Credit KarmaI have been using Credit Karma to check my credit score and to pay off some outstanding debts I've had for a few years.  My credit score has gone up one is 602 and the other is 611.  Now, I need to get my student loans under control.  My financial history is a mess, but all I can do is make it better.  I owe over 150,000 in student loans.  Why is that so?  Plus, there are other issues.  Life and it's challenges.  There are 2 judgments on my report.  One isn't my fault, but that's neither here nor there.

My house phone gets many calls from random debt collectors and other unnecessary places.  This really gets on my nerves all of the phone calls.  I'm going to take my time and get this debt handled.  My car will be paid off by the end of the year.  I'm looking forward to that.  I also have upped my annuity to $300 a month.  At this point I have about $55,000 built up over these past 15 years.

Sometimes I get sad because I feel that I have made several mistakes financially and it's time to get things back in order.  There have been many losses in my life and I'm closer to the end than the beginning.  It's time to get it and make my life better.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

This Little Boy

Things are changing for the better, it's taking a little time, but overall, it's getting better.  Slowly adding money to an account that I will not touch.  Started a Christmas account that can be withdrawn in December.  The only thing is there has to be 12 deposits by October.  What I need to do is make 2 random deposits in that account and things will be good.  I have $50 being deposited in that account over that period of time.  This will give me a chance to shop for Christmas instead of waiting to the last minute and using the money that I make for the month of December.

Having this little boy has made me life much different.  I love him and I never knew life could be like this.  It's so different.  I never would have thought that this would be my life.  I cry when I'm happy, no matter what kind of day I've had, he makes me smile.  Energy is always there for him.  I don't want to fail him at all.  Looking over my life, I've wasted so much time, money, love, and energy.  Now that I have him, life is different.  For him I want more, better, things I didn't have growing up.  Financial security, stability, a chance to not have struggle on his side.  For him, I'm going to give my all.  With that being said, I've made many changes for the both of us.

Deposited $5000 in my account
Paid off several debts
Credit report increase 583 and 593, still under 600, but slowly moving up

Going to open him up an account so he'll have something.  Instead of putting money up monthly, will use money from tax return to save for the next 18 years.

Truck needs to be fixed
Car seats need to be repaired
House needs to be done
Oneal Street needs to be rented
I need to move ASAP

I owe $4708 on my car.  If I pay $100 more a month on it I'll be finished paying it off sooner than 11 months.  As a matter of fact, it'll be in almost 9 months.  That'll be $450 to put toward something else.  It's taking several changes in order for me to get my mind right.  Another thing, I will up my deposits to my annuity.  This needs to be done by August.  By then, several things will be paid off and my credit score will be over 600 points.  By the way I didn't mention, I have over $150,000 worth of student loans.  Once my minor bills are paid off, I'll start working toward these student loans.  This is not a thing that I want for my soon.  Student loans are awful.  The constant calls, get on my nerves.  It served a purpose, but now I'm just tired.  The smallest bill is 1787.  Don't want to spend my entire life paying off student loans.

Another thing, when I get caught up, I'll start paying the smallest student loan off and work my way up to the largest one.  I also have 2 private student loans that I am way behind on.  I'll pay $50 a month until I pay off a few other debts.  Work on putting money in the right place.

I'll be 40 in August and my life is much different.  There are several irons in the fire and things are getting better.  I'm a mommy now and I have to make things better for him.  I think about the money that I waste monthly and where it needs to be put.  Which is in a better place.  Like I said before the time is now.  Working is something, and money needs to go where it should in order to have a debt free life.

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