Wednesday, June 29, 2016

It's the Middle of the Year

Spending, spending, spending....that's what I've been doing this summer.  At the same time, I've been getting things done.

Candle room
Kilz
Next
painted
carpet taking up
floor done

Hallway
carpet taken up
floor done

Liam has been put in the shop.  He will not be out until he is fixed.  This will save getting another vehicle.  Plus, I got some flowers for the front yard and they have added appeal to the yard.  There are still things that need to be done, but I'm glad I decided to get over whatever it is and get these things done.

Getting things done feels really good.  Being in the middle of my life and having this baby has really made things different.  Putting money to good use is always worth it.

What needs to be done
refinance home
pay off 1532
pay off 3295
put up 1000 every month
pay for his school for July

Entering a new stage of my life and I'm looking forward to it.  Every day is new and I haven't been living it like that.  Now is different.  I have over 175,000 worth of student loan debt and it angers me.  All I can do is work to make my life better.  Take every day one at a time.

Monday, June 20, 2016

All I Can Do is Live

I had to realize that I have not been in a good place for a really long time.  Chaos all around.  In my mind, home, car, job, life, social interactions, chaos.  Stepping back understanding the problem and working towards making it better. 

The house looked as if it had thrown up.  Things everywhere, clothes, things, all over the place, no order, none.  I started in the back of the house and thinned out.  Got rid of clothes, shoes, papers, things.  Moved things around.  I also started to decorate.  I have been in the house for a long time and I haven't enjoyed it.  Haven't made it comfortable, home.  I know these things don't matter, but they add warmth to the space.  You can actually walk throughout the house and nothing is on the floor.  Everything has a place.  More or less.  It feels good to finally have a clean home. 

In the meantime, during the decorating, I have been redoing each room.  My room is done.  Now the guest bedroom.  It had to be Kilz.  That was done today.  Tomorrow, it will be painted.  Looking forward to it.  Once that is done, the carpet will be removed and the hardwood sanded and varnished.  There will be a full sized bedroom set put in there. 

Next, his room will be done just like the guest bedroom.  Finally, the carpet will be taken up in the hallway and the hardwood done too.  Making the space comfortable while I'm here and ready for the next tenant after I leave. 

The front of the house is going to take the most work.  The floor has shifted in the kitchen.  There needs to be a new counter top and cabinets.  The floor needs to be done too.  I didn't mention a backsplash.  Something pretty.  The front room carpet needs to be taken up and floor under needs to be fixed.  There's a hump in it.  Not too sure about what type of flooring I would like for that room.  Will have to think about that. 

In the front yard, I planted a flower garden and it is really pretty.  They are perennials so they will come back every year.  Slowly, but surely I am appreciating the things that I have done in my home.  It is mine and it might as well be what I want. 

As far as my debt, I haven't done anything with it.  It is still there.  I haven't checked CreditKarma.  Nothing. 
Student loans
Medical bills

I have been spending money on nothing really, but not on what is important.  Not at all.  What is the problem?  I just don't feel like doing what it takes to get out of this financial turmoil that I have gotten myself into. 

What I told myself is that I would look at CreditKarma and see where I stand.
Contact all debtors and set up payment arrangements
Continue to save $1000 a month

At the end of the year, I wanted to purchase a new car with the money saved.  Purchase land, pay off debt, put it toward my mortgage.  I really don't know what to do. 

What I can do is put $400 toward my smallest debt in July.  This will allow me to get something paid off in at least 2-3 months. 

Life is about learning from your mistakes and doing what it takes not to repeat them.  I created this debt and it's up to me to eliminate it. 

Plus, I got a part time job.  I do enjoy it.  That helps.  Focus is what I need and having a clean home does help.  I know that moments matter, but they fade away.  I must do what's best for me! 

Monday, April 18, 2016

It's a Journey to be Filled with Accomplishments

This financial journey is not the easiest one to be on.  I'll be the first to admit that!  It's a roller coaster, filled with ups and down, flips and flops, curves, and slides, but it is all worth it.  It seems that it isn't but it is.  As you know, my biggest issue is all of this student loan debt that I have accumulated over the last years and still haven't completed this PhD, go figure.  In my mind, I'm over it, but I know this is something that I need to complete one way or another.  I do know that my topic will have to be started all over due to the program not being in use anymore.  Knowing what I know now, I may not have consolidated my loans because they fall off after 20 years.  Never was told that!


Working on getting the house in order.  Still need to get the last 2 rooms redone plus the hallway and I'll be finished with the back of the house.  Then to the kitchen.  It's a work in progress and I can do it.  When the dust settles, I will inquire about refinancing my house.  When that is done, all I will have to do is pay for 15 more years instead of 20.  The house will be paid for by the time my baby is 15.  That will be a complete blessing. 


Paying things off seems to be the story of my life.  Never seem to get there.  Always something.


Medical:  5,683 (200 a month)
Walden:  6,597 (75 a month)
Navient:  10,429 (75 month)
      11,162 (25 month)
Fed Loan Serv:  172,475 (25 month)


By the end of the month the medical will be down to $4083, I may put half of it toward that debt.  Depending on how things are looking at the end of the year.  Walden should be paid off by December 2017.  The goal is to eliminate as much of this debt as I can and still not accumulated anymore.  That will be the hard part.  Looking at the debt like this makes me feel great that I can see it, but knowing that I did this to myself makes me feel some kind of way.  Hindsight is 20/20. 
Having the Mini Cooper is great, but now that I have this little boy, it is a little too small for the both of us.  Really looking into getting a new vehicle at the end of the month.  Paying cash for it, no more than $12,000 I want to spend.  Also, was supposed to go to the salvage yard today to see about getting rid of Liam.  He's been in the front yard since last year.  It's time to let go. 

In my mind, that will be the start of letting go of many other things in my life.  I feel stifled, holding on to past things that serve no purpose in my life.  Let go of things that wish me no good, because I am blocking blessings. 




Monday, March 28, 2016

Life Goes on no Matter What

Here I am!  That is something that I am so glad to be.  You live and learn and that's what I've been doing.  Beating myself up over past mistakes, decisions, choices, anything.  Overall, just not happy with my life.  That is so sad!  What can I do?  Except my life and move on, because time waits for no man.  I realize that over all of these years, I have wasted so much time, money, and energy.  Where would I be if I saved more money than I spent?  Not in this place.

Beating myself up is something that I do on a daily basis.  Most of the time I compare myself to others and I know that is not what God intended for any of us.  No one can walk in another's shoes.  Everyone has a different path to follow and what is for me is for me only.

As for My Financial Success, it has been a constant struggle, from student loans to other issues, I can't seem to win for losing.

Things that need to be handled
Land Rover sitting in front yard since last year
student loan debt 172,000
other student loans 30,000
credit scores  576 and 585

Things that I'm working on
getting house situated:  2 bedrooms painted, carpet taken up, hardwood under carpet
hallway:  carpet taken up, floor done
kitchen:  cabinets replaced, new counter top, flooring
new bedroom set

Where did I go wrong?  Not putting money to good use, not enjoying life.  I don't try to live like the Jones', but sometimes I feel I don't deserve things.  Right now, I am working on putting my money to good use.  Also, having this little boy has changed my life for the good.  I actually have saved money for him, that I should have been saving for myself a long time ago.  What changes life will bring.

Working on bringing up my credit scores.  Paying things off one at a time.  I learned something, I shouldn't have consolidated my loans, I had 2 to fall off due to them being 20 years old.  Go figure!

Something that I have learned, I am not my credit score.  Having a good one does seem to help make life a little better.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

New Year, Same Old Thing

Happy Happy New Year!  There are so many good and not so good things going on.  Let's see my credit score has dropped something serious.  I have paid off Marybelle, that's $450 to debt.  Things are working themselves out.  2015 was a different year for me.  Having to adjust to being a new mom says it all.  I never thought this would be my reality, but it is.

Looking back over all the years.  The fun, sex, relationships, useless things that have gone and really didn't mean anything.  What was the purpose?  Back then, I should have been an international traveler.  Instead of trying to have all the sex, or make this relationship work.  I should have been purchasing real estate and filling up my passport.  Which by the way, I haven't gotten the first stamp in it.  Go figure.

Being 40 has made me realize many things about myself.

  • loner
  • kind
  • giver
  • caring
  • emotional
  • lovely
  • adventurer
Just to name of few.  Right now, of course, I am where I thought I wouldn't be.  Living in one of my rental properties understanding that it is time to move on to something else.  

What have I been doing to make things better?
  • pay off student loans prior to 1995 so I can get teacher loan forgiveness
    • 1638 and 3600
  • contact private loans that are with collection agency to see about updating credit information
  • working on getting house ready for when I move
  • paying off credit cards 
  • pay off medical bills
  • save something monthly
Last year was really different.  Getting adjusted and making sure that I had enough.  Losing myself and now trying to get her back has been a journey.  Also, yesterday, my new furnace got put in, that was $1400.  Not thinking that I deserve better has been an issue, but overall I been staying above water.  

This credit score has dropped below 600 and that's truly sad.  Wanted and needing to move is something that is seriously on my to-do list.  Having this baby has really put many things in perspective.  Also, like I stated earlier, so much time, energy, and money wasted on worldly items.  Where did it get me, not where I thought I would or should be.  

Another thing, not graduating with a Phd has done something to me.  All of this student loan debt and to not have a degree, what a waste of time, energy, and other peoples money.  Now, what do I do?  Suck it up and make a change, where change is due.  

Today, I will write a letter to the credit agencies where these default student loans are and see about making a payment arrangement to bring these debts current and put them in good standing.  It seems I'm always robbing Peter to pay Paul, but I'm here and I'm making it, is all that matters.  

Not going to worry about past decisions, or mistakes.  All I can do is stay current and make it better.  Swimming in debt will not be my future.  Things will get better and I'm determined to do it.  

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