It's the Middle of the Year

Spending, spending, spending....that's what I've been doing this summer.  At the same time, I've been getting things done.

Candle room
Kilz
Next
painted
carpet taking up
floor done

Hallway
carpet taken up
floor done

Liam has been put in the shop.  He will not be out until he is fixed.  This will save getting another vehicle.  Plus, I got some flowers for the front yard and they have added appeal to the yard.  There are still things that need to be done, but I'm glad I decided to get over whatever it is and get these things done.

Getting things done feels really good.  Being in the middle of my life and having this baby has really made things different.  Putting money to good use is always worth it.

What needs to be done
refinance home
pay off 1532
pay off 3295
put up 1000 every month
pay for his school for July

Entering a new stage of my life and I'm looking forward to it.  Every day is new and I haven't been living it like that.  Now is different.  I have over 175,000 worth of student loan debt and it angers me.  All I can do is work to make my life better.  Take every day one at a time.

It's My Life

Looking back over my life, I have had a wonderful one.  Full of ups and downs, but I guess that is what life is composed of.  I remember making plans and some coming to reality and others falling by the way side.  Through it all things have been great.  Sicknesses, losses, life, death, overcoming and moving forward.  Not holding on to things makes it hard, but much easier to cope.

Making plans to retire by 20 and have a PhD, have they been my reality.  No, they haven't.  Is it due to fault of my own, why, yes. I'll admit, things haven't turned out how I've wanted them to or expected, but I'm here to tell the story.

I've come to terms with not being able to afford my PhD.  Exhausting my financial aid, I'm not able to afford school anymore.  Plus, there are other things that are more important than obtaining that degree.  Even though, I've always wanted to have D. R. period in the front of my name, since I was in junior high school.  I've wondered since I started the program what I would do with it once I finished.  To be honest, I think I was afraid to complete it.  Being in the program since 2005.  This seemed to be something I just couldn't finish, for whatever reason.  Afraid, I'll say this has been the one thing that I haven't been able to complete and get off my back.  At one point, I felt like a failure, but now, I have just let go.

Having a baby and being a cancer survivor has made me look at life in a totally different perspective.  Life is intricate.  One minute your here, the next you're gone.  What is it all worth?  The things we deem important sometimes aren't.  So, I'm looking at doing things a little different.  I understand that many things are out of our control, but overall, you have to put God first in everything you do.

Things I'm going to do different
18 months left on Marybelle, put 100-200 extra on my 450 payment (this will allow car to be paid off in 12-14 months)
Oneal Street on HAP, 1 year lease
Get baby an account, put 100 in his account monthly for the next 18 years.  Find an account that will earn a decent interest rate
Pay off Walden
Get student loans under control
Prepare to move from Fisk (4 bedroom/2 bath fireplace and 2 car garage) it's time to get out of the hood
Put any extra money in my account (save 50-200 a month)
Start preparing for winter for baby (get ahead of things, before I know it he'll be 1 years old)
Stop wasting money and do better overall

There have been many things that have occurred in my life and I look at things so different.  It's time to make a change and do it for the better.  What is it all worth?  I don't want to have any regrets.  I have done many things that I may not be proud of, but through it all I have overcome.  Having this baby makes things seem so clear.  Maybe I'm a little more emotional than I've been before, but I know I have to do better for him to have a good life.

It seems that I can't get ahead and that there is a financial curse on me.  I don't know, but somewhere things have got to be different.  All I can do is live me life and do the best I can.

There are Blessings

Life goes on no matter what.  Bills, expenses, deaths, life, growth, hurt, pains, no matter what life goes on.  I've been looking at this thing called life and tragic as it seems, there are blessings in every aspect of it.  In my life there seems to always be an issue, the summer seems to be the biggest problem that I have.  Money always coming out, robbing Peter to pay Paul is the story of my life.  Through it all there are blessings.  Phone call after phone call, debt collectors constantly calling the house phone and cell makes me feel less of a person.  Yes, this does bother me, but at least I have income coming in.  I don't excessively spend, but no matter what there is always an issue.

Problems:
September bills
mortgage 1300 since I didn't pay for August
Walden 5000

I'm just tired of trying.  Come to find out I only have 12.78 years of teaching.  30 in order to retire.  Can't pay for this Phd program on my own.  Really feel like giving up and that I think I'm going to do.  Don't know whether I'm coming or going.  Whatever I try to do lately ends of failing.  Through it all there are blessings.  I have my health, a handsome baby boy that was unexpected, I'm cancer free, a mother that loves me, a roof over my head, 2 vehicles, I could go on and on.

Even though my finances aren't what I would like them to be there are several blessings that I receive.  I'm going to say thank you for them and I'm ready to receive the ones for my future.

I can only Go Up

My credit scores range from 506-561.  I am working on paying off all the things that I can.  For instance, there are 4 outstanding accounts that need to be paid.  I have a thought, I have money that I don't want to spend, but let build, borrow off of that money and pay it off.  Continue to save and put the money where it is most needed.  

There has been some excessive spending here and there, but if I continue to cook, that will help me save some cash.  I purchased a ledger, this should help me keep up with all of my finances.  I can make this work.  

Order for taking care of these bills, I sent in $200 today, the final payment will be mailed by the end of this month.  The total cost is $464.

Directv $464

ADT    $1064

Medical $900

Medical $574

Pay $200 everything month until they are all paid off.  I did pay for my braces, no more payments on that.  I paid for 2 months of storage.  Not paying that bill after the end of this month.  I have to do right by my finances.  Plus, the property management is working out.  The place has been rented out.  All extra monies, put in a good place.  I did sign up to do a outside yard sell.  This will give me a chance to sell the candles, but the weather really looks bad.  

I must not do wrong by the money, I keep saying that.  I don't want to end up with nothing to show for what I had.  I know I waste much, but I can't continue to do that.  Overall, I feel good about where I am going and what is going on.  

Things I've gotten rid of

Directv               140 a month

Caller Tunes

Braces paid in full  100 a month

Ancestry.com  

Things I need to get rid of

Wireless card 

Anyway that I can cut corners I will try, the only reason I haven't gotten rid of the home line is that it's connected to my security system.  

Plus, I am going to take some time off from school and Sallie Mae has been calling and calling.  Majority of my debt is student loans.  When looking at my credit report, I really don't have bad debt.  I do have a credit card with a $300 limit.  Paying off the above debts would help my score much.  My goal is to have at least a 650 credit score by the end of the year.  I do believe that can be done if I keep putting money where it should be.  As long as I owe, the money I make is not mine.  In my mind, when I get ready to spend put that money toward a debt.  

Paying off debt is very important to me and it may get obsessive.  Have to have something to worry over.  

Bills that I pay

mortgage

water

power

gas

Netflix

Hulu2

TMobile

The money that is left over should go to debt.  Did I mention I am going on a trip this summer.  I have to get this paid for soon.  

I haven't been the best financial planner, I know, but I can and will handle this issue.  

Here It Is

Things have been working out pretty well.  First, 1010 is rented out.  Good job!  There are little issues with the property, but they are getting fixed.  For instance, there's a hole under the sink, the heater grate needs to be replaced, and the gas meter has been pulled due to a leak.  Now, I have to find a certified plumber to fix it. 

3210 is empty, thank you for that.  There are a few things that need to be fixed and I'm going to get them fixed this week.  I have to go to court to get the rest of the money they owe from 3210.  That's a part of the job that I don't like. 

The issues have been eating out, that is where majority of the spending is done.  I'm trying to work on that.  I had a large amount of money to come in from working the morning lab and Saturday School.  Having a second job within the first one is good.  Making sure I do right by the money is the whole thing. 

There are doctors bills that I have and need to be paid so they don't end up on my credit report.  Checked my credit score and they are awful, the only choice I have is to go up.  Continue to pay off outstanding medical bills that are sitting and build credit.  I have automatic draft for all bills except the water.  Continue to save and put the money in the right place.  Looking to get a secured loan on 1,000.  What could I do with that money?  Pay off a large bill, I did get settlements for a couple of them.  Pay them off and not get anymore debt. 

The whole purpose of this blog is for me to get out of debt and it seems I do while for a moment and something happens.  I can't continue to sabatoge myself, that seems to be what I'm good at.  Falling for the set up.  The money that I'm spending on food could pay off a few bills.  That money put it toward the debt.  Instead of eating out, pay a bill. 

Questioning do I want to continue to live here?  A note was in my door, it was crazy.  Trying to live her until 40, let's see how that goes.   Can't continue to slight myself, I tend to be good at that.  I don't know what my future plans are and that's the problem I'm having getting out of school.  What do I do?  Financial Aid is exhausted.  Had to take out a personal loan for nothing because I haven't made any adequate gains.  Feel like giving up, but I've come to far.  What do I do with this degree?  I don't know.  What do I want to be when I grow up?  I don't know.  I've been teaching for 13 years, will I be a 50 year old business education teacher? 

Where do I go from here?  I love making candles and doing this real estate thing, they both bring me joy.  Have a d r period, in the front of my name has always been a dream of mine.  Will it be a dream deffered?  At this point, my mind is tired of thinking about school.  Once the decision is made there's no turning back. 

Decisions that need to be made
What are my future plans?  3 years, 5 years, 10 years from now
Do I want to continue to stay here?  For how long
What kind of career do I want? 
How will I acquire more properties?
What do I see myself doing?
How can I bring more happiness into my life?
Put the main thing first.
Buckle down and do what's right
Let the new me come out

This year has been filled with experiences and things I will never forget.  I have something that I am sitting on and I'm excited about it.  First, I don't want to let it go.  Do right by the money I have.  All bills are paid and life is getting better.  I'm learning about myself and realizing that everything is going to be alright.  Make sure I do what's right and just and most of all put the money in the right place and don't blow it. 

There's so much to say and I don't know where to start.  My personality is different and overall, I try to stay out of everybodies way if I can.  I have a spirit of expression.  I don't try it just comes out, but I want people to see me.  I said it, see me, here me, notice me, something.  I've been told my spirit is free.  I do want I want because that's what I want to do, not because this is what people are doing.  I'm my own self.  Right now, at a crossroads and don't know which way to go.  I feel like I'm maturing in so many respects, well have matured.  Things that many get upset about doesn't bother me.  Why because life goes on.  I learn, listen and move on. 

Not knowing what's going on or having a plan has caused me to be in school for this long.  No ultimate goal, well, that is to graduate, but no plan after graduation.  Is being a middle school business education teacher my end result?  No disrespect to those, but that seems so mandane, like there's more to lif than that.  Am I lazy?  Looking for a job is hard and waiting.  That another story within itself.  I guess I know the answer to my question, continue to look and apply to different jobs and that's the only way I will get another one.  Can't expect one to fall in my lap. 

Mid-life is serious especially when your learning and don't have a typical life.  As always thank you for reading. 

2013 Is Coming Fast

I do believe that I only used this blog twice this year and my finances of come to pieces.  There have been so many things that have taken place since the last time to wrote a post. 

For instance: 
Lost house of Parkchester, still haven't seen about that.  the insurance has lapsed and I haven't taken the time to do anything.  I felt like I failure and didn't and really haven't talked about this to anyone.
Direct tv disconnected
ADT from Oneal Street
Storage want to put everything on Craigslist or something, behind, next month things will be auctioned off, that isn't happening
Marybelle brakes and running hot
Liam air conditioning and loud noise
Wachovia
US Dept of Education
Tax Lien
Knology

On a lighter note, I do know where my money is going and that is a good thing.  I actually see now, where I didn't before.  Spending isn't a big thing.  I know where my money is going.  Not just wasting cash.  Not eating out anymore, which is a good thing. 

Now to put the money toward bills that have been lingering for a while.  Lossing the house to me made me feel like a total failure, as if there was no recovery.  Then I was told that just like I got that house and the other one, I can get another one.  Since it was put to me like that, I completely understand.  The money I receive should be used to help build up my future, not wasted on things that aren't important! 

This period has been a learning one for me and it is time that I make changes that will benefit me in the long run.  Not having a cable bill has helped me put that money toward other things.  Time keeps on moving and in 3 years I will be 40 years of age.  There has been so many money that I have wasted on things that have no value.  Many of which I no longer own and don't know what happened to them.  Life, true is a journey, but it is all how you make it.  Live and learn and don't hold on to the past.  Grow from it and become a better person. 

Daily I am learning what and what not to do.  I am going to make mistakes, but as long as I learn things will be fine!  No, I am not embarrassed of my happenings, I am here for you to learn from me.  It's ok, life goes on! 

I will not be away for long.  Like I always say, things tend to work themselves out, they always do.