Tuesday, November 9, 2010
This is my plan of action. Time waits for no one. This entire things has made me understand more about myself and others. No more will I be that same person, I deserve better than that. No more will I put others feelings in front of my own. Worry no more, everything will be alright and you will look upon this situation and know that it served a purpose in your life. It does and will.
Like I have stated previously, I am behind on many things. Bills ontop of bills is what I have. More or less I have gone through a divorce. Picking up the pieces, not knowing which way is up. Slowly they are coming back together. No where to turn, if things go wrong, I have to be the sole supporter of me. No more love from the other side.
Looking at things on a lighter note.
Walden: once one thing is done something else always happens
There is something going on in my life. For the past year it has been a down hill spiral for me. The last few days have been strange too. Lost my license only to find it. Got pulled over only to get a warning. Car will not crank, have to get it fixed. Out and about and things took longer than they would normally. Now I'm back home to do nothing. My life has been a bunch of wo is me.
One day financial success will be mine. In the meantime, this thing called life is kicking my butt. What is going on in my life? Cleanse myself completely. No more bad things. Willetta, you will be ok! Trust that, it seems bad now, but everything has its purpose. You will be ok!
Not being able to focus on what's important has been a downfall of mean. At least the mortgages are paid. I'm going to wait to see what is wrong with Liam and how much it's going to cost to get him out of the shop. In my world, it just keeps on raining! Get it together girl, get it together!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Currently, I don't know what my financial state is. I know that the water got turned off at Parkchester, not because I didn't have the money, but just haven't paid the bill. My existence is sad. The highlight of my day is none. I did pay the mortgages, so they are caught up.
Maybe I need to come up with a plan of action. Have no motivation to do that. What I do know is I need to finish these papers. Haven't done anything with school. Really feeling sorry for myself.
This is the last month for paying Ron. That is good.
US Dept of Edu
Things I Need to Do
Get Motion Lights put Up
Turn in KAM I
Put Liam in the Shop
No goals or ambitions nothing all of that has been taken away. Can't stay here forever, got to keep pressing on.
What's even got me is focusing on the things that aren't important. My life is what's important. This is my mothers house and I don't want to be here no longer than July. She was kind enough to allow me to live here again. So thankful!
Keep pressing forward and get my life going.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Overdrawing in account every month
Get motion dectectors put up
Complete KAM I
Pay off Wachovia $1900
Pay off Ron $1900
Get front yard landscaped
Purchase my own home
Get my mind in order
Change insurance companies
Get Liam fixed
Time keeps on passing me by. All I can do is shake my head. My Financial Success deals with getting my finances in order and paying off all debts. Also, Willetta Jackson being debt free. Owing no one. These are the debts that I have as of today.
Bank of America (October)
US Dept of Education (December 11)
Tax Lien (August 11)
In my mind, I just need to get my mind in order and focus on what's important. That is so hard. Just really don't feel like doing anything. There are so many things that I need to do and order to make things happen. For instance, complete KAM I, II, & III. Just can't seem to focus and sit down to write these papers. Was going to a residency, but had to cancel that due to finances. Another thing I am going to be fiancially stable to the point where I can pay cash for things and have no monthly payment. Can no longer live check to check. What is wrong with me? That is always the key question. Willetta what is wrong with you?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A few posts back I stated that my credit score had gone up, but now it has dropped. By how much I don't know. Behind 2 months on one house and 1 on the other. I believe that I have to pay 6 months to a year in order for the mortgages to be brought back to good standings.
As I type, the bathroom is getting fixed. So glad about that. The shower still isn't fixed, but now I can take a bath instead of a shower. Got rid of the pedestal sink and put one in with storage under the bottom. Also, used Goof Off to get all of that adhesive off of the ceramic tile. That worked. Changing the bathroom color too.
Just thinking about everything, there has to be a way for me to get back on track. It seems so hard and at times I feel lost. Spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere.
Haven't been working on the group home, slightly working on my KAM I. Actually waiting to hear a response from my professor.
Let's see starting today, what can I do to get my financial situation back in order.
Stop eating out
Return items not able to use
Put more money on items
Save something every month
US Dept of Education
Things need to get done at the houses
1027: Railing for stairs on side
637: backyard leveled and jungle removed...privacy fence, ground fault receptacle
3210: motion detector light, handles fixed on tub
Having my passport has me seriously thinking of taking a trip somewhere anywhere. Being able to go to another country and see first hand how they live would be amazing to me.
Take everyday one day at a time. Get things done and put my best foot forward. I will have the mortgage paid for the month on the other house. So I will not be behind. The extra cash that I get will go toward paying Ron or something. Tired of being in this financial place.
This is what I will try to do. Write at least once a week to show some type of improvement.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Since the beginning of the month, I have been in a low place treading water. I am tired of being here. I have come to the decision that I will enjoy this place and make the most of it. I have been truly blessed through out my life and the blessings will continue to flow. Reading books about Buddhism has really helped me understand myself, others, and life. There are areas in my life that I have failed on the test, but there are others that I excel in. There needs to be a balance.
Today, I have no more cash at all. The good thing about it is I get paid Wednesday, the bad thing is I owe, I owe! Just like this month I made it, I will make it next month too. I used my credit card to fill up in gas. I took $20 and went to the grocery store. I only spent $18 and some change. There is enough food in the house to last me until next week. Good job!
There have been a few positive things that have happened:
applied for passport
Learning Agreement II approved
ordered books for last part of KAM I
So as you can read, I have not been just wallowing in sorrow! Yes, I have, but I have been doing things too.
Things I have to pay:
2 power bills
2 gas bills
2 water bills
2 cable bills
US Dept of Education
Things need to be fixed in home:
Cheap tile removed off of floor bathroom done
sink fixed and replaced done
sheet rock replaced done
faucet replaced tub
I guess I may be in this home for about 1 year. This is an income property for my mother and now that I am here that is $425 that she isn't getting per month. Truly, I don't want to be here, but this may be the best place for me. This is the second time around and there will not be third.
Time keeps on moving and no I am not getting any younger. There are things that will be done. I don't know how much money I owe Ron, but once that is finished I will start back saving. Five years until I am 40. Wow!
Another thing, wherever I go once I leave this house I will not have a mortgage! It is ridiculous how the housing market is. If the home is $50,000 when you finish paying for it, you will have paid almost $300,000. That is a shame! So I have learned that I mortgage is not the way to go. Or, I will just build me a house.
All I know is I didn't learn the first time, but I have this time! No longer will I spin my wheels to get nothing! I am fine, just have to except my place in this world and do the best I can! I am worth more than I ever thought! Thank you for letting me realize that!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
As you may know, I have been in a low place for almost 2 months now. I understand my wrong and what I did. Thinking back, I don't know where my mind was and what was going on. Quit honest, I am embarrassed to say that I messed it up. Things are different now. I know longer will be in that place. Seeing things differently now. It's like everything is on the looking glass.
Yesterday was not a good day for me, all I did was cry. I greatly apologize to you for what I did, I never meant any of it. I know now, that we had everything and each other and that was all that mattered. Yes, things weren't always good, but they were everything that I wanted. Thank you for that! Thank you for everything that you have ever done for me, the time, the energy the emotions, thank you! You took care of me and that is all that I could have asked for. Now, I am all alone, missing what we once shared. Never to return again and that is sad. Always looking for the next best thing when it was always in my face the entire time. Wow, how we don't see it until it is gone. Maybe one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Like I said before I know now.
Working on myself and being in this same place again is very trying. To say over 5 years ago that I will never do it again and to do it again is crazy. Always looking for the next best thing and it was there all along. Sad!
During this time, I have learned that everything I need is in me. Everything, my whole life has been filled with nothing but failure. One relationship after another, failure! Getting into one after another and never hailing from the first. Bringing those issues into the other. The cycle continues to repeat itself over and over again. I refuse to be a victim. It stops here. I see now. Maybe it's because I am older and tired of being put in the same situations, I don't know, but what I do know is never again will I be the victim. I will never ever feel this way again. I will not make someone else hurt. To see the pain on the face is something that I never want to see again.
The wanting, desire, all of that is sad, the minds keeps on wanting the next best thing. When what you need is always there. All I can do is shake my head. I want to talk to you to tell you how I feel, but I know you don't want to hear anything that I have to say. The lies, I completely understand. In my small mind, I just want things to go back to the way the were. A piece of me says it can happen, but something says it never will. You were my friend and I always thought you would be around, maybe you would have if I hadn't messed things up. Now, I am alone. Doing things that we used to do together, now I do them by myself.
Those were things that I wanted to express, just had to say something. Again, all I can do is shake my head in shame. I can't go on living this life repeating the same mistakes, I am better than that. This is about my well being. I understand were fear and worry come from. I will no longer carry them with me. I have released them. I deserve better than what I have given myself over the years. I am somebody!
Once I recieve the money that I am owed, I will get some things fixed on Parkchester:
- yard done
- privacy fence
I have no money for real let's see:
- $1,000 to Ron for Parkchester
- $450 to Mom for Liam
- $570 for Parkchester
- $570 for Fisk
At this point, I am overdrawn in my account, tredding water. I am not ever worried about that. I also paid my bills too. So I know I am overdrawn in my account. So, so very sad.
Paying $1000 a month to Ron let's me know that I can pay off much of my debt soon. I don't know how much I owe him, but once that is done I will pay off the two student loans that I have. This is a bad thing, but now I can focus on me, that is what I am going to do. No room for anyone else.
I paid my credit card bill. I guess due to the holiday weekend it will be a delay when they will receive the payment. Once the payment has been received, I will purchase the books I need for my Application. I will start on my Learning Agreement for KAM II.
This blog has helped me to express my rights, my wrongs, my stupid decisions, my oversights, my mistakes and any other crazy thing that I may have done. Survival is the key to this thing and that I have been barely doing. I am worth more than that! Thank you for reading and again learn from all of my errors, because as you read, I make a plenty of them.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I got Liam out of the shop and had to borrow money for that. Trying to purchase 3 homes and I have to give him $1000 for a title search. Don't think that is right, but I really want these homes. I am owed money let's see $1800 from one home and $1200 from another. Once I receive that money things will be much better.
The house I am in now needed/needs some work. The floors needed to be done, while doing that they have done something to the power where the washer and dryer are. They also repainted the walls, when I had already painted, I just didn't cut in. The house is in disarray worse than it was in the beginning. I really don't know where anything is.
Looking at my finances is a truly sad thing. At one point, I was rolling in the money, now I am tredding water trying to stay afloat.
As for the group home, I had to start completely over on my paperwork and I could be further than I am, but wallowing in sorrow does something to my motivation.
School will be over for the term Monday and I need to purchase my books so that I can complete KAM I. In the meantime, I will start working on the Learning Agreement for KAM 2. I registered for the residency in July, but I am not going to attend it, no cash and feel I need to complete all three KAMs, before I attend another one.
I am sad and working on myself. That is all that I truly can say. Don't want to do anything, go anywhere or nothing, just want to be. I have figured out that most of my problems stem from my youth and I have to fix me. No one else, but me! Can't be still and truly trying to work on that. All these changes and I know that it is for the best.
3210 Oneal Street
bathroom tile removed
bathroom sink fixed
dishwasher replaced/fixed nothing was wrong
tree limbs cut
grass cut done
plant some flowers
637 Parkchester Drive
add a bathroom
Learning Agreement KAM II approved
Learning Agreement KAM III
2 six day residencies
I don't know what is going on and where I am going, but I do know that things will and have to be better. I will not be worried about things and just keep moving forward. I am still sad, but I will be alright. I have to make me better that is all that matters. My childhood has had a serious affect on me and who I am. As much as we try to be different than our parents we tend to turn out to be just like them. No longer will I be a victim of my past. Things will be better and now I know that. There will be a better Willetta when this is done!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
My financial situation is not at it's best. The transition has taken away from what I had. On top of that a tenant owes.
Things about to happen
$1,000 for 3 houses
1027 Fisk Avenue $527
3210 Oneal Street $300
I don't need to be flat broke and that's what it looks like is about to happen. I have been trying to sort out my issues and constantly spending money where I don't need to. This move has really done something to me, but I do understand there has to be consequences for my actions. I am taking responsibility for what I have done. It is no bodies fault but my own. Now, I have to figure out how to survive for the next almost 2 weeks. No food, no money, no nothing, but my sanity and at this point, that is all that matters.
There's no money on my credit card, I have about $500 to my name. Wow and things just keep accumulating. You know what that doesn't matter, what matters is that I am healthy and there is a means to an end. Today, I am going to take my time, find out if my car is ready, get some cash and just relax in the house alone. I just need to be.
If you are a constant reader of my blog when I post don't do the things that I have done. Learn from my mistakes all I can do is give thanks and know things will get better.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Here I go again on my own! This is not a place that I ever wanted to be. What have I learned from my mistake? Never look outside of your relationship for anything. Look within it, communication, and trust are key to a happy relationship.
What I want: I know we may never recover from this, but if we do I will not and I do repeat will not do anything like that again. The entire situation is sad and it is not completely my fault. All I can do is admit my wrong and work on making me better. This time around I will make me better. I don't ever want to have this experience again. What we shared was intimate and we took each other for granted. If we could return to where we were I would be different. I would cherish every moment that we spend together. My friends would not be before you and I would work on making us better.
Since I am on my own again, my finances have completely changed. The extra cash that I had has gone to hotel rooms, moving (purchasing new things), eating out. I am not at 100% and it is to be expected, but I do know I am giving myself an entire year to get everything together.
May 11, 2010-May 11, 2011
completed all 3 KAMS
completed prospectus and dissertation
done 2 residencies
about to graduate with PhD
group home running
moved from 3210 Oneal Street
pay off Ron for fixing 637 Parkchester
pay off tax lien
pay off wachovia
pay off US Dept of Education
pay off MEA
purchase 3 houses
keep credit scores up 607, 657, 657 (they can only get better)
Something that I have noticed about myself is that the months of March-May usually has some type of chaos going on. What am I doing to attract these negative things? I am tired of my faults and like I stated earlier I will work on them and be a better person. I don't ever in life want to feel like this and I never will. Keep moving forward and let me realize that I made a mistake and the things I do have a trickle down effect on the people I am around. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me please do.
There is more that I have to say, but the time will be later. This is my financial success, the ups and downs, high and lows, but through it all I will achieve financial success. There are many things that have been put off over the years. This year, I will make them happen. All extra cash will go toward paying off the lowest debts first.
Also, remember I am paying for utilities in two places, my new residency and Parkchester. So my money is used up. Keep saving and moving forward that is my plan.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The house is rented out on Parkchester. Thank you Leslie and Lone Wollow Enterprises for allowing your workers to live in my home. I still haven't finished paying on getting the house fixed. He doesn't know what he did with his receipts. $2,900 has already been paid, I was supposed to pay something, this month, but I haven't. My mother kept asking me if I paid him and that I didn't know how much I owed. I asked and that has been almost 3 weeks ago. Well, I will pay him when I find out how much it is.
There are still some more things that need to be done to the yard.
All of the trees cut down
Grass seeds front yard
Been working on getting group home up and running. The name is Betty Jackson's Home for Teens. Gone through the paperwork of filing name with county and state. Now, I am working on the Policy and Procedures, Disaster Plan for the home.
Fire Alarm Systerm specific for group home
Fire Safety letter
Add trash compacter
Washer and Dryer
Handles on all the doors
I have given myself and entire year to have the group home up and running. It is taken time and work to get through everything. I have guidance from someone that already has a group home and it truly helps to be able to talk with him and get some direction. Even though I do procrastinate I have gotten many things done.
More things needed for Group Home
Letter from Dentist
Letter from Doctor
Order book from state
Had to do another eviction. This is for my mother's house on Oneal Street. I don't know if she's still there or if she's moved. I have to go to court Monday to complete the eviction. That's crazy. I don't know. Maybe some more workers can move into the house, it's only a 2 bedroom and 1 bath. If not, will go up on the rent to $475. I believe there needs to be some small things done to the house. Hopefully the eviction will go smooth so that my mom can start back making money.
I don't know how my finances are looking. I am finally at a place where I know where my money goes and I am not overspending. The best thing I could have done for myself was to cut up my check card. The best thing since cooking with gas. Now, I write checks and use online banking to pay bills. I borrowed $1,500 off of some money I had in the bank. I still have the loan from last August when I had to pay for school. Looking at all of the debt, I will say I owe about $5,000 to MEA.
I spoke with Mr. Leonard about the houses on Colorado Street. He is still in Baltimore trying to sell the house there. Once that is complete he will be getting with me. Buying 3 houses for $45,000 and owner financed and I great deal.
Money on hand
That's a pretty decent amont of change. There are so many things that need to be done and at the same time there are debts to be paid.
Money owed I talked about this earlier
MEA 5488 (2 loans)
Tax Lien 5000
What I was thinking is to pay off something maybe next month and get what I can done. I must remember to save something, because I don't know when I may close on the houses. Overall, I am in a good place and I know that I must pay off the debts and stop wasting money. Now that I see everything that I have to do it makes it easier to know it can and will be achieved.
Maybe at the end of this month I will pay the m0ney that I borrowed off of. I didn't tell you that my Wachovia Student loan is 2250. That's something else that I wanted to have paid off this year. Be a manager of money. Then I think about the length of time I have had the debt, that's another thing. That Wachovia loan has been with me some undergraduate school, that's not cool. That will be the first one I pay off this summer.
Another thing, school is going well. Waiting for my mentor to get back with me pertaining to my Breadth component. I also have to purchase the books for the Application. In the meantime, I could be working on my Learning Agreement for KAM II. Writing the paper has been a big challenge for me. Not to mention the fact that I have to write 3 of them, a prospectus, and a dissertation before I can be Dr. Willetta Jackson. All part of the process I guess. No, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am glad that I am in school for my PhD. I don't have time to play around, I have done that long enough.
I forgot to mention that in all of this I would love to move to a bigger home. Something with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, a 2 car garage, fireplace, and pool. Where there's a will there's a way. This is my life and through it all here I am.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Currently, I have $9,096.76 to my possession and I again, I don't know how to feel. This is the most money I have had at one time. Ok, there, I put it on paper. Really been trying to figure out a few things. Supposed to purchase three homes this month, but person selling had some other things happen. Hopefully, I will close in March maybe April. The eviction was crazy. The people that were living there were selling drugs and dogs out of the house. And there was this mean living in the backyard in a camper. I cancelled the eviction because the house was empty. Maybe I should have kept it. The house is messed up on the inside very dingy. Now I am getting the house situated. There are a few things that need to be done in the house. I don't want to spend too much cash to fix the entire thing. What about $2,500? Since the house is empty I am paying the mortgage. Maybe I can get it rented out until I get everything up and running. That means that I will have to purchase a refrigerator, beds, furniture, and more. Everything is moving and I must be ready to receive all of the positive favor. Remember, when I close on the houses I will have a down payment, closing costs, and other additional fees $2,000.
In order to do what I want to do, it's going to take plenty of patience and focus. I think I said focus before because that is truly what I need.
Rewrite of things to come:
All things in bold have been completed.
Paint house inside and out
Make sure everything is working
Floor heater fixed
Central heat and air secured working
Back window secured
Complete Policies and Procedures
Get measurements of house
Breadth KAM I
Application KAM I
Breadth KAM II
Depth KAM II
Application KAM III
Also, almost finished with school. Slowly coming close. All it will take is dedication and focus. I have to write. This is what is left: 3 KAMs, 2 residencies, & 1 dissertation. I don't have years to finish the dissertation. It has taken me long enough with the leave of abscence. I have played around long enough. The time for everything will be 2011. Make it pop is what I say.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Wow how time flies, I didn't realize that I have had this blog since 2008. My how time flies. It needs to be revamped. I guess I will sit down and sort out how I want it to look. I really need a new header. I want it to reflect how fabalous I am. Looking back over the years, I have made some serious financial mistakes, but now I know what to do to make it better.
There are many things that are about to occur in my life. One, we are changing schools (my middle school is merging with another and we have to move out of the building at the end of the year). Purchasing 3 houses at the end of the month, one which is an empty shell. Applying for my passport so that I can travel outside of the country. I am working toward making serious power moves. I don't want to work for ever, I don't want to have to work until I am in my 6os, I don't want to be like that. This is why I am making the necessary moves at this moment.
I think about myself from time to time and in my mind I am lazy and really don't want to do much. This may be true, but overall, this is not true. I am a go getter. It may take me some time to actually put it into play, but I will make it happen. Another thing, I haven't gone through an interview process in 9 years. I don't think I want to go through that ever again in my life. If I have too I will. What I see for myself is teaching online and being able to stay it home and do the things that I enjoy. I am truly blessed. Ten properties by 40. I know I can make it work. Just learn from the mistakes of others and everything else will fall in place.
I know that I can do all things possible.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Debt consolidation is often a useful means to get rid of your high-interest unsecured debts like credit card debt and personal loans. The credit card companies are earning billions of dollars in penalty fees. With the raise in interest rates on credit cards, the situation of credit cardholders has become worse. Many individuals are looking for a reliable if not, the best debt consolidation company since they’re facing difficulties to even keep up with their minimum monthly payments, not to mention the cumulating interest rates. Number of bankruptcies is at a record high and people are desperately looking for solutions to get out of debt. This article would help you choose the right debt consolidation company. Choosing the right company is essential to successfully eliminate debt promptly.
Do your homework
When you’re looking for a good debt consolidation company, you must do your homework well. There are so many companies out there and some of them are just scams that would prey on you to take your money without offering any valuable services. Check with the Better Business Bureau (BBB) to see if there are any complaints against a particular consolidation company you’re thinking about. If there are many complaints or grievances, just turn your back on them and walk away.
Check the background
It is essential that you check the past performance of a consolidation company. Some companies are just fly-by-night companies and change their names too often. They target unsuspicious consumers to make money. You mustn’t go for a company that has a history of less than three years. Remember that it needs time to form reputation. Choose a company with an extensive history.
This is certainly a warning signal. If a representative of a consolidation company tries to make you sign an agreement within a very short period, then you have to look out. A reputed company wouldn’t do this. Debt consolidation is not an easy procedure and you don’t have to hasten to arrive at a decision. Furthermore, consolidation mightn’t be right for everyone.
Don’t choose a lengthy program
You mustn’t select a program that is going to run more than three years since you can’t gain from it in the end. The sooner you pay off your debts, the better it is for you and you also can save plenty of money.
You can ask your family members or friends about their experience with a particular company. Knowing their experiences might help you choose the right company. Ask the company about their monthly payments and interest rates and compare them with others.
Always keep in mind that the right debt consolidation company would offer you a tailor-made program that would fulfill your requirements and remain within your means.