Looking back over all the years. The fun, sex, relationships, useless things that have gone and really didn't mean anything. What was the purpose? Back then, I should have been an international traveler. Instead of trying to have all the sex, or make this relationship work. I should have been purchasing real estate and filling up my passport. Which by the way, I haven't gotten the first stamp in it. Go figure.
Being 40 has made me realize many things about myself.
Just to name of few. Right now, of course, I am where I thought I wouldn't be. Living in one of my rental properties understanding that it is time to move on to something else.
What have I been doing to make things better?
- pay off student loans prior to 1995 so I can get teacher loan forgiveness
- 1638 and 3600
- contact private loans that are with collection agency to see about updating credit information
- working on getting house ready for when I move
- paying off credit cards
- pay off medical bills
- save something monthly
Last year was really different. Getting adjusted and making sure that I had enough. Losing myself and now trying to get her back has been a journey. Also, yesterday, my new furnace got put in, that was $1400. Not thinking that I deserve better has been an issue, but overall I been staying above water.
This credit score has dropped below 600 and that's truly sad. Wanted and needing to move is something that is seriously on my to-do list. Having this baby has really put many things in perspective. Also, like I stated earlier, so much time, energy, and money wasted on worldly items. Where did it get me, not where I thought I would or should be.
Another thing, not graduating with a Phd has done something to me. All of this student loan debt and to not have a degree, what a waste of time, energy, and other peoples money. Now, what do I do? Suck it up and make a change, where change is due.
Today, I will write a letter to the credit agencies where these default student loans are and see about making a payment arrangement to bring these debts current and put them in good standing. It seems I'm always robbing Peter to pay Paul, but I'm here and I'm making it, is all that matters.
Not going to worry about past decisions, or mistakes. All I can do is stay current and make it better. Swimming in debt will not be my future. Things will get better and I'm determined to do it.