Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Will I Ever Get This Together?


Spinning wheels and getting nowhere fast.  Been on this financial success journey for years and in my opinion I haven't gotten far at all.  I write and I don't write, I make promises to myself and don't keep them.  This journey is a trying one, but worth all the effort.  When I complain, I'm told that that's what we call living. Am I living wrong?  What is the problem?  In real life it seems I can't get right, but then there is everything to be thankful for and for that I am thankful!  


My debt is something that really bothers me and makes my life miserable.  Again, things are wonderful!  My problems go on and on!  Number 1:  Health is my mine concern.  Number 2:  Making sure I can take care of my baby.  Number 3:  Handling my financial success.  Number 4:  Making sure I do the right thing.  Number 4:  Be present for my mom.

In life period I get caught up on putting money in the right place and not spending on food.  That's my biggest issue, food.  When I try to do right something happens, car goes out, washing machine dies, glasses get broken, anything that could happens does and I'm just tired.

To date, there have been several debts that have been paid off, but there are several more that need to be tended to.

Where does time go, money, your life?  Where does it all go?  Away, that's where it goes.  The plans that I've made for my life, where did they go?  I wonder from time to time, what did I do wrong, where did I go wrong?  Now, the question is what to do to make things better?  I don't need to get discouraged at all.  Keep fighting this battle and put money where it belongs, to my debt.

Issues
Capital One $779  May 2018
Navy Federal $1450  June 2018
Obgyn  $5354 paid off by December 2018
Navient $12,388 $11,488 or to $10,000 first  December 2019
Fed Loan Servicing $193,280  December 2028 Call because they are not taking my Public Loan Forgiveness paperwork

Now what needs to be done?  Get over myself and do what is best.  Continue a good fight and not give up.  This is one of the hardest things I have done.  What makes it so frustrating for me is that I'm not this person that goes hard and shops, shops, shops, I don't do that.  I can't seem to get it together.
Negative self talk is what can sabotage this entire financial journey that I am on.  Honestly, like always, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  This is getting old. 

Rethinking my problems, have to take my time organize and not get down due to my own financial issues.  The credit cards were supposed to help with getting my credit score higher.  They did for a few and then it went for not.

It's ok, it's alright!  Things will get better.  As long as I stay focused, don't get side-tracked, and use money for my (our benefit) things will be fine.

Things to do
Get Marybelle towed and fixed
Get Liam towed and fixed
If too much money both cars will be sold
Clean house top to bottom
Save $500-$1000 a month
Get over myself and my issues and do the damn thing
Come up with a plan to get rid of this $193,000 debt
Read more
Save for a down payment on another house

Things in House
kitchen counter tops
kitchen cabinets
kitchen/dining room floor
front room floor
fascia board house
house painted
fence fixed
storage unit removed from yard

It doesn't seem that I have been in my career as long as I have and it's been a long time.  Now, I have only 12 years to retire and do what's best for us.  Use my salary to pay off this debt.  It's really not much, but it is something that has hindered me from doing and being what I want to be.

Things will get better, if there is extra money it will go toward the lowest debt that I have.  I made a plan that if we don't eat out, that money saved during the week will go toward debt.  We will see how that works.

This blog is supposed to help me, but in real life I don't want to face my problems.  If I ignore them they will go away and that is not the case.  They tend to get worse instead of getting better.  All it takes is me, me doing right by my money, not offer spending and focusing on being the best me that I can be.



No comments: