Saturday, May 29, 2010

So Worried

Regardless of what is going on in ones life, life keeps moving forward. As I stated in my previous posts, starting over has it's ups and downs. At this moment, I am at the downs. To be honest, everyday is getting better, but not it's best. Right now, I should be in Houston with my girlfriends, but due to the move it took all of my cash. My finances aren't the best and I don't see how things will work themselves out. It is completely out of my hands, I must keep moving forward and not give up and myself.

I got Liam out of the shop and had to borrow money for that. Trying to purchase 3 homes and I have to give him $1000 for a title search. Don't think that is right, but I really want these homes. I am owed money let's see $1800 from one home and $1200 from another. Once I receive that money things will be much better.

The house I am in now needed/needs some work. The floors needed to be done, while doing that they have done something to the power where the washer and dryer are. They also repainted the walls, when I had already painted, I just didn't cut in. The house is in disarray worse than it was in the beginning. I really don't know where anything is.

Looking at my finances is a truly sad thing. At one point, I was rolling in the money, now I am tredding water trying to stay afloat.

As for the group home, I had to start completely over on my paperwork and I could be further than I am, but wallowing in sorrow does something to my motivation.

School will be over for the term Monday and I need to purchase my books so that I can complete KAM I. In the meantime, I will start working on the Learning Agreement for KAM 2. I registered for the residency in July, but I am not going to attend it, no cash and feel I need to complete all three KAMs, before I attend another one.

I am sad and working on myself. That is all that I truly can say. Don't want to do anything, go anywhere or nothing, just want to be. I have figured out that most of my problems stem from my youth and I have to fix me. No one else, but me! Can't be still and truly trying to work on that. All these changes and I know that it is for the best.

3210 Oneal Street
bathroom tile removed
bathroom sink fixed
dishwasher replaced/fixed nothing was wrong
tree limbs cut
grass cut done
plant some flowers

637 Parkchester Drive
add a bathroom

Learning Agreement KAM II approved
Learning Agreement KAM III
2 six day residencies

I don't know what is going on and where I am going, but I do know that things will and have to be better. I will not be worried about things and just keep moving forward. I am still sad, but I will be alright. I have to make me better that is all that matters. My childhood has had a serious affect on me and who I am. As much as we try to be different than our parents we tend to turn out to be just like them. No longer will I be a victim of my past. Things will be better and now I know that. There will be a better Willetta when this is done!
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