Friday, August 15, 2014

This is No Easy Thing

There have been many things that have happened in my life since I've had this blog, but that's neither here nor there.  The ultimate goal is financial success which I haven't yet achieved.  Life is a work in progress and it only gets better.

Over the years of course I've gotten older.  I had a major break up, several break ins, several moves, move from schools, thyroid cancer, cancer free, and a baby.   Life goes on and through it all I still haven't completed my PhD.  One thing I've realized is what is it all worth?  When it's all said and done, what is the point?  I try and try to achieve financial freedom, but things just keep happening.  Like nothing is ever right.

Looking over the issues, which are several.
Walden University:  can't keep paying for school on my own, can't afford it.  Yes, I'm close, but there are other issues that need to be dealt with financially.
Laingley:  he need things, plus I have to pay my mother back for his birth.  Did I mention save for his future?  That's a must.
medical bills:  really don't know how much that is, but it's much.  Plus, I have old bills that need to be handled
Liam:  needs a muffler really bad, don't need to drive Marybelle with Laingley
1027:  things in here need to be updated:  get rid of carpet in hallway, new counter tops, cut down tree limbs around the house

Having a new baby is something that's different and new.  Something that I've never experienced in my entire life.  Every night I melt a little, this love is so real, I can't explain how I feel.  I understand a mother's love now.  Life is so intricate and precious.  This is so real, I love this little boy with everything that I have and no one can take that away from me.  No one could have told me that this would be my reality.  Who would've thought?  Not me!  I'm learning everyday, this is an on the job training for me.  Overall, my financial obligations have changed and what I wasn't doing I need to start so this little boy can have something.

For him
Open an account and put in 100-200 a month for the next 18 years
Get more properties so when he gets older he'll have something when and if he wants
Turn in paperwork for bonds

My life
Take my time to get things organized.  I want to move the year of my turning 40, which is next year.  So, 2015-16, things should be much different and I'll be in a good place to move from this place.  It's time to be grown up.  I'm 38 years old and still not where I want to be.  It's time to grow up. I've made a decision and it's time to let school go.  Along the way, I've forgotten how to be me and the things that I want to do.  I used to enjoy life, but something happened.  No, it's not the baby.  This happened way before then.  Something sucked the life out of me.  It wasn't the cancer either.  I don't know what is was.  Life for me has changed.  Also, as for my finances, it seems that I get close and something happens.  Like there is something holding me back from financial freedom.  Maybe it's just my thoughts or me period.  It's a fight that I'm going to continue to have until I work through it.  It's has to get better and be a better way.
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