Another Day is Here

As you may know, I have been in a low place for almost 2 months now. I understand my wrong and what I did. Thinking back, I don't know where my mind was and what was going on. Quit honest, I am embarrassed to say that I messed it up. Things are different now. I know longer will be in that place. Seeing things differently now. It's like everything is on the looking glass.

Yesterday was not a good day for me, all I did was cry. I greatly apologize to you for what I did, I never meant any of it. I know now, that we had everything and each other and that was all that mattered. Yes, things weren't always good, but they were everything that I wanted. Thank you for that! Thank you for everything that you have ever done for me, the time, the energy the emotions, thank you! You took care of me and that is all that I could have asked for. Now, I am all alone, missing what we once shared. Never to return again and that is sad. Always looking for the next best thing when it was always in my face the entire time. Wow, how we don't see it until it is gone. Maybe one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Like I said before I know now.

Working on myself and being in this same place again is very trying. To say over 5 years ago that I will never do it again and to do it again is crazy. Always looking for the next best thing and it was there all along. Sad!


During this time, I have learned that everything I need is in me. Everything, my whole life has been filled with nothing but failure. One relationship after another, failure! Getting into one after another and never hailing from the first. Bringing those issues into the other. The cycle continues to repeat itself over and over again. I refuse to be a victim. It stops here. I see now. Maybe it's because I am older and tired of being put in the same situations, I don't know, but what I do know is never again will I be the victim. I will never ever feel this way again. I will not make someone else hurt. To see the pain on the face is something that I never want to see again.

The wanting, desire, all of that is sad, the minds keeps on wanting the next best thing. When what you need is always there. All I can do is shake my head. I want to talk to you to tell you how I feel, but I know you don't want to hear anything that I have to say. The lies, I completely understand. In my small mind, I just want things to go back to the way the were. A piece of me says it can happen, but something says it never will. You were my friend and I always thought you would be around, maybe you would have if I hadn't messed things up. Now, I am alone. Doing things that we used to do together, now I do them by myself.

Those were things that I wanted to express, just had to say something. Again, all I can do is shake my head in shame. I can't go on living this life repeating the same mistakes, I am better than that. This is about my well being. I understand were fear and worry come from. I will no longer carry them with me. I have released them. I deserve better than what I have given myself over the years. I am somebody!

My Finances
Once I recieve the money that I am owed, I will get some things fixed on Parkchester:

1. yard done
2. GCIF
3. privacy fence

owed $3,000

Right Now

I have no money for real let's see:

1. $1,000 to Ron for Parkchester
2. $450 to Mom for Liam
3. $570 for Parkchester
4. $570 for Fisk

At this point, I am overdrawn in my account, tredding water. I am not ever worried about that. I also paid my bills too. So I know I am overdrawn in my account. So, so very sad.

Paying $1000 a month to Ron let's me know that I can pay off much of my debt soon. I don't know how much I owe him, but once that is done I will pay off the two student loans that I have. This is a bad thing, but now I can focus on me, that is what I am going to do. No room for anyone else.

I paid my credit card bill. I guess due to the holiday weekend it will be a delay when they will receive the payment. Once the payment has been received, I will purchase the books I need for my Application. I will start on my Learning Agreement for KAM II.

This blog has helped me to express my rights, my wrongs, my stupid decisions, my oversights, my mistakes and any other crazy thing that I may have done. Survival is the key to this thing and that I have been barely doing. I am worth more than that! Thank you for reading and again learn from all of my errors, because as you read, I make a plenty of them.

So Worried

Regardless of what is going on in ones life, life keeps moving forward. As I stated in my previous posts, starting over has it's ups and downs. At this moment, I am at the downs. To be honest, everyday is getting better, but not it's best. Right now, I should be in Houston with my girlfriends, but due to the move it took all of my cash. My finances aren't the best and I don't see how things will work themselves out. It is completely out of my hands, I must keep moving forward and not give up and myself.

I got Liam out of the shop and had to borrow money for that. Trying to purchase 3 homes and I have to give him $1000 for a title search. Don't think that is right, but I really want these homes. I am owed money let's see $1800 from one home and $1200 from another. Once I receive that money things will be much better.

The house I am in now needed/needs some work. The floors needed to be done, while doing that they have done something to the power where the washer and dryer are. They also repainted the walls, when I had already painted, I just didn't cut in. The house is in disarray worse than it was in the beginning. I really don't know where anything is.

Looking at my finances is a truly sad thing. At one point, I was rolling in the money, now I am tredding water trying to stay afloat.

As for the group home, I had to start completely over on my paperwork and I could be further than I am, but wallowing in sorrow does something to my motivation.

School will be over for the term Monday and I need to purchase my books so that I can complete KAM I. In the meantime, I will start working on the Learning Agreement for KAM 2. I registered for the residency in July, but I am not going to attend it, no cash and feel I need to complete all three KAMs, before I attend another one.

I am sad and working on myself. That is all that I truly can say. Don't want to do anything, go anywhere or nothing, just want to be. I have figured out that most of my problems stem from my youth and I have to fix me. No one else, but me! Can't be still and truly trying to work on that. All these changes and I know that it is for the best.

3210 Oneal Street
bathroom tile removed
bathroom sink fixed
dishwasher replaced/fixed nothing was wrong
tree limbs cut
grass cut done
plant some flowers

637 Parkchester Drive
add a bathroom

PhD
KAM I
Learning Agreement KAM II approved
KAM II
Learning Agreement KAM III
KAM III
Prospectus
Dissertation
2 six day residencies

I don't know what is going on and where I am going, but I do know that things will and have to be better. I will not be worried about things and just keep moving forward. I am still sad, but I will be alright. I have to make me better that is all that matters. My childhood has had a serious affect on me and who I am. As much as we try to be different than our parents we tend to turn out to be just like them. No longer will I be a victim of my past. Things will be better and now I know that. There will be a better Willetta when this is done!

The Current Situation

I am learning to slow down and just go with the flow. Living life and not being acceptable of myself is a huge thing. Learning how to love myself is the main goal. Tired of doing the same things over and over again. This will make almost 20 years of being given an opportunity to right my wrong and here I am in the same place again. Things are different this time. No longer will I continue to wrong myself. Now, I understand that I am no different. I didn't like when you did it to someone dear to me and I do the same to someone else. Wow, things will be and are different this time.

My financial situation is not at it's best. The transition has taken away from what I had. On top of that a tenant owes.

Things about to happen
$1,000 for 3 houses
1027 Fisk Avenue $527
Books $100
Liam $500
3210 Oneal Street $300

I don't need to be flat broke and that's what it looks like is about to happen. I have been trying to sort out my issues and constantly spending money where I don't need to. This move has really done something to me, but I do understand there has to be consequences for my actions. I am taking responsibility for what I have done. It is no bodies fault but my own. Now, I have to figure out how to survive for the next almost 2 weeks. No food, no money, no nothing, but my sanity and at this point, that is all that matters.

There's no money on my credit card, I have about $500 to my name. Wow and things just keep accumulating. You know what that doesn't matter, what matters is that I am healthy and there is a means to an end. Today, I am going to take my time, find out if my car is ready, get some cash and just relax in the house alone. I just need to be.

If you are a constant reader of my blog when I post don't do the things that I have done. Learn from my mistakes all I can do is give thanks and know things will get better.

Why Do I Keep Doing the Same Ole Things?

I have messed up royaly and the first thing is to admit your wrong. I am admitting my wrong! This makes time number two that I have wronged someone that is very dear to me. Why did I do that, who knows, maybe looking for love in all the wrong places? At this moment, I am feeling what I did wrong.

Here I go again on my own! This is not a place that I ever wanted to be. What have I learned from my mistake? Never look outside of your relationship for anything. Look within it, communication, and trust are key to a happy relationship.

What I want: I know we may never recover from this, but if we do I will not and I do repeat will not do anything like that again. The entire situation is sad and it is not completely my fault. All I can do is admit my wrong and work on making me better. This time around I will make me better. I don't ever want to have this experience again. What we shared was intimate and we took each other for granted. If we could return to where we were I would be different. I would cherish every moment that we spend together. My friends would not be before you and I would work on making us better.

Since I am on my own again, my finances have completely changed. The extra cash that I had has gone to hotel rooms, moving (purchasing new things), eating out. I am not at 100% and it is to be expected, but I do know I am giving myself an entire year to get everything together.

May 11, 2010-May 11, 2011
completed all 3 KAMS
completed prospectus and dissertation
done 2 residencies
about to graduate with PhD
group home running
moved from 3210 Oneal Street
pay off Ron for fixing 637 Parkchester
pay off tax lien
pay off wachovia
pay off US Dept of Education
pay off MEA
purchase 3 houses
keep credit scores up 607, 657, 657 (they can only get better)

Something that I have noticed about myself is that the months of March-May usually has some type of chaos going on. What am I doing to attract these negative things? I am tired of my faults and like I stated earlier I will work on them and be a better person. I don't ever in life want to feel like this and I never will. Keep moving forward and let me realize that I made a mistake and the things I do have a trickle down effect on the people I am around. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me please do.

There is more that I have to say, but the time will be later. This is my financial success, the ups and downs, high and lows, but through it all I will achieve financial success. There are many things that have been put off over the years. This year, I will make them happen. All extra cash will go toward paying off the lowest debts first.

Also, remember I am paying for utilities in two places, my new residency and Parkchester. So my money is used up. Keep saving and moving forward that is my plan.

Here I Am

It always seems the same. Doing the same old things, not posting to no blog for months at a time, just trying to enjoy this life. All the same things, and here I am. Time keeps moving forward and so do I.

The house is rented out on Parkchester. Thank you Leslie and Lone Wollow Enterprises for allowing your workers to live in my home. I still haven't finished paying on getting the house fixed. He doesn't know what he did with his receipts. $2,900 has already been paid, I was supposed to pay something, this month, but I haven't. My mother kept asking me if I paid him and that I didn't know how much I owed. I asked and that has been almost 3 weeks ago. Well, I will pay him when I find out how much it is.

There are still some more things that need to be done to the yard.
Parkchester
Backyard leveled
All of the trees cut down
Privacy fence
Grass seeds front yard

Been working on getting group home up and running. The name is Betty Jackson's Home for Teens. Gone through the paperwork of filing name with county and state. Now, I am working on the Policy and Procedures, Disaster Plan for the home.

Group Home
Fire Alarm Systerm specific for group home
Fire Safety letter
Add trash compacter
Washer and Dryer
Another Bathroom
Handles on all the doors
Screen Door
Paperwork

I have given myself and entire year to have the group home up and running. It is taken time and work to get through everything. I have guidance from someone that already has a group home and it truly helps to be able to talk with him and get some direction. Even though I do procrastinate I have gotten many things done.

More things needed for Group Home
Letter from Dentist
Letter from Doctor
Order book from state

Had to do another eviction. This is for my mother's house on Oneal Street. I don't know if she's still there or if she's moved. I have to go to court Monday to complete the eviction. That's crazy. I don't know. Maybe some more workers can move into the house, it's only a 2 bedroom and 1 bath. If not, will go up on the rent to $475. I believe there needs to be some small things done to the house. Hopefully the eviction will go smooth so that my mom can start back making money.

I don't know how my finances are looking. I am finally at a place where I know where my money goes and I am not overspending. The best thing I could have done for myself was to cut up my check card. The best thing since cooking with gas. Now, I write checks and use online banking to pay bills. I borrowed $1,500 off of some money I had in the bank. I still have the loan from last August when I had to pay for school. Looking at all of the debt, I will say I owe about $5,000 to MEA.

I spoke with Mr. Leonard about the houses on Colorado Street. He is still in Baltimore trying to sell the house there. Once that is complete he will be getting with me. Buying 3 houses for $45,000 and owner financed and I great deal.

Money on hand
TIC 1785
MEA 1769
Suntrust 750
Total 4304

That's a pretty decent amont of change. There are so many things that need to be done and at the same time there are debts to be paid.

Money owed I talked about this earlier
MEA 5488 (2 loans)
Tax Lien 5000

What I was thinking is to pay off something maybe next month and get what I can done. I must remember to save something, because I don't know when I may close on the houses. Overall, I am in a good place and I know that I must pay off the debts and stop wasting money. Now that I see everything that I have to do it makes it easier to know it can and will be achieved.

Maybe at the end of this month I will pay the m0ney that I borrowed off of. I didn't tell you that my Wachovia Student loan is 2250. That's something else that I wanted to have paid off this year. Be a manager of money. Then I think about the length of time I have had the debt, that's another thing. That Wachovia loan has been with me some undergraduate school, that's not cool. That will be the first one I pay off this summer.

Another thing, school is going well. Waiting for my mentor to get back with me pertaining to my Breadth component. I also have to purchase the books for the Application. In the meantime, I could be working on my Learning Agreement for KAM II. Writing the paper has been a big challenge for me. Not to mention the fact that I have to write 3 of them, a prospectus, and a dissertation before I can be Dr. Willetta Jackson. All part of the process I guess. No, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am glad that I am in school for my PhD. I don't have time to play around, I have done that long enough.

I forgot to mention that in all of this I would love to move to a bigger home. Something with 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, a 2 car garage, fireplace, and pool. Where there's a will there's a way. This is my life and through it all here I am.

Ok Here's the Situation

Things are happening in my favor and it really feels good. My thinking cap is on and it is time to make the most out of things. Just finished my last class. I may get a B; don't know how I feel about that.

Currently, I have $9,096.76 to my possession and I again, I don't know how to feel. This is the most money I have had at one time. Ok, there, I put it on paper. Really been trying to figure out a few things. Supposed to purchase three homes this month, but person selling had some other things happen. Hopefully, I will close in March maybe April. The eviction was crazy. The people that were living there were selling drugs and dogs out of the house. And there was this mean living in the backyard in a camper. I cancelled the eviction because the house was empty. Maybe I should have kept it. The house is messed up on the inside very dingy. Now I am getting the house situated. There are a few things that need to be done in the house. I don't want to spend too much cash to fix the entire thing. What about $2,500? Since the house is empty I am paying the mortgage. Maybe I can get it rented out until I get everything up and running. That means that I will have to purchase a refrigerator, beds, furniture, and more. Everything is moving and I must be ready to receive all of the positive favor. Remember, when I close on the houses I will have a down payment, closing costs, and other additional fees $2,000.

In order to do what I want to do, it's going to take plenty of patience and focus. I think I said focus before because that is truly what I need.

Rewrite of things to come:
All things in bold have been completed.

Blinds
Plug ins
Paint house inside and out
Redo floors
Make sure everything is working
Floor heater fixed
Central heat and air secured working
Back window secured
Landscaped
Fence

Complete Policies and Procedures
Get measurements of house

Breadth KAM I
Application KAM I
Breadth KAM II
Depth KAM II
Application KAM III
2 Residencies
dissertation

Also, almost finished with school. Slowly coming close. All it will take is dedication and focus. I have to write. This is what is left: 3 KAMs, 2 residencies, & 1 dissertation. I don't have years to finish the dissertation. It has taken me long enough with the leave of abscence. I have played around long enough. The time for everything will be 2011. Make it pop is what I say.

Life is What You Make It

To be honest, this like all other posts may or may not make sense, but I just felt that I needed to write something. I have been working hard to make sure that I have things in order. For instance, my finances hence this blog, Liam is in order, and my personal life. At this specific moment, I understand that I am trying to make some changes for the better. Sometimes, I am scattered and mentally I can't focus on what is important. Currently, I can see the forest for the trees and I am not focusing on the bull. I am not getting any younger and know that at some point I have to make things work for me and my family. Financially, I am blessed and proud of where I have been, where I am, and where I am going. Truly, my signficant other has helped much with this. Thank you, you know who you are. I don't have a car note and that helps much too. As far as Liam is concerned I am getting at least one thing fixed a month. He is 12 years old and needs some maintenance, I can afford to spend a few hundred dollars on him once a month since he is paid for. No longer will I put his issues off. The needs some minor repairs, things that I should have gotten fixed a long time ago, since I did mess them up I should fix them.

Wow how time flies, I didn't realize that I have had this blog since 2008. My how time flies. It needs to be revamped. I guess I will sit down and sort out how I want it to look. I really need a new header. I want it to reflect how fabalous I am. Looking back over the years, I have made some serious financial mistakes, but now I know what to do to make it better.

There are many things that are about to occur in my life. One, we are changing schools (my middle school is merging with another and we have to move out of the building at the end of the year). Purchasing 3 houses at the end of the month, one which is an empty shell. Applying for my passport so that I can travel outside of the country. I am working toward making serious power moves. I don't want to work for ever, I don't want to have to work until I am in my 6os, I don't want to be like that. This is why I am making the necessary moves at this moment.

I think about myself from time to time and in my mind I am lazy and really don't want to do much. This may be true, but overall, this is not true. I am a go getter. It may take me some time to actually put it into play, but I will make it happen. Another thing, I haven't gone through an interview process in 9 years. I don't think I want to go through that ever again in my life. If I have too I will. What I see for myself is teaching online and being able to stay it home and do the things that I enjoy. I am truly blessed. Ten properties by 40. I know I can make it work. Just learn from the mistakes of others and everything else will fall in place.

I know that I can do all things possible.

It's 2010 and I am Not Doing the Right Things

This is going to be a lot of rambling off. I haven't been thinking clearly these past few months and money has been one of the issues. First, I have gotten much money over the last few months and blown it on nothing. Something that I have realized is I am a giver and that may be good in some instances. Today what I am going to do is write here what I have done wrong and what I am going to do to fix them.

Again, it may be scattered!

Trying to purchase 3 properties for $45,000

Moving by August 2010: 4 bedroom 3 bath, 2 car garage, pool, fireplac

Found out I haven't paid my mortgage for December $1150 paid

1027 owe $450

637 owe $1710 need to evict paid

3210 owe $450 paid

when evict 637 going to have to do much work $1,000 fixed

still haven't paid for the Escalade $4,900

money I have is $1,200

still raining in Liam fixed

backdoor on Liam has dropped fixed

power button for drivers seat

break light broken fixed

brush guard rusted

filled out passport application and took picture, but now can't find birth certificate

breaks still messed up waiting for Firestone to call me back in shop as I type

haven't done anything with my KAM working on this

caught up in my last class passing with a 91 finished all courses

The first thing is to stop spending. Spending on things that really don't matter, doing for others and things like that. The problem is I don't do for myself often, I really didn't a few years back. Now I am making up for lost time. It feels good to finally see that I have money. All I have to do is put it to work for me. In the meantime, enjoy a little of it.

What needs to be done. Try to write it out in an orderly fashion.

Save $3,700 by March by off Escalade

Tomorrow pay 637 see if it can be taken off my credit report $1,200

Organize bills for February tomorrow

Find birth certificate and send off passport application

Pass last class

Put car in shop when they call

Call where got headliner fixed

Start working on KAM

Get ahead in my class

Get estimate from Burkett for Liam

Put $1,000 down on $45,000 properties

Call tenant let know they need to move

Go up on rent

$425 to $475

$570 to $610 950

Ok, follow this and everything will work itself out. As I do these things I will cross them out and date. Let's see how long it actually takes me to complete this list. My my my, how I procrastinate.

Something else, I don't know what I want to do with myself. Travel, teach others how to take care of themselves, rent, buy, sell, fix houses. Being tied down like this has its ups and downs. Since I have been doing this I have seen so many come and go. I don't want to be there forever and yet time keeps moving. To some extent, I wonder what else can I do. My plan is to save money and make it work for me.

One day I'm going to look back and read this and realize that I made the right financial decisions. All it takes is learning from my mistakes, saving, paying off debt, and doing right by what I have. I can do this, I can make it happen, I must achieve financial freedom.

This is just a spill of what I am thinking about at this moment. This has helped because now I can see what needs to be done. Being scattered doesn't doesn' help the matter. That is jusst has my mind operates.

Being sure of the right debt rescuers

Guest post by JENNIFER LOHAN

Debt consolidation is often a useful means to get rid of your high-interest unsecured debts like credit card debt and personal loans. The credit card companies are earning billions of dollars in penalty fees. With the raise in interest rates on credit cards, the situation of credit cardholders has become worse. Many individuals are looking for a reliable if not, the best debt consolidation company since they’re facing difficulties to even keep up with their minimum monthly payments, not to mention the cumulating interest rates. Number of bankruptcies is at a record high and people are desperately looking for solutions to get out of debt. This article would help you choose the right debt consolidation company. Choosing the right company is essential to successfully eliminate debt promptly.

Do your homework

When you’re looking for a good debt consolidation company, you must do your homework well. There are so many companies out there and some of them are just scams that would prey on you to take your money without offering any valuable services. Check with the Better Business Bureau (BBB) to see if there are any complaints against a particular consolidation company you’re thinking about. If there are many complaints or grievances, just turn your back on them and walk away.

Check the background

It is essential that you check the past performance of a consolidation company. Some companies are just fly-by-night companies and change their names too often. They target unsuspicious consumers to make money. You mustn’t go for a company that has a history of less than three years. Remember that it needs time to form reputation. Choose a company with an extensive history.

Pressure tactics

This is certainly a warning signal. If a representative of a consolidation company tries to make you sign an agreement within a very short period, then you have to look out. A reputed company wouldn’t do this. Debt consolidation is not an easy procedure and you don’t have to hasten to arrive at a decision. Furthermore, consolidation mightn’t be right for everyone.

Don’t choose a lengthy program

You mustn’t select a program that is going to run more than three years since you can’t gain from it in the end. The sooner you pay off your debts, the better it is for you and you also can save plenty of money.

Ask questions

You can ask your family members or friends about their experience with a particular company. Knowing their experiences might help you choose the right company. Ask the company about their monthly payments and interest rates and compare them with others.

Always keep in mind that the right debt consolidation company would offer you a tailor-made program that would fulfill your requirements and remain within your means.

JENNIFER LOHAN
jennifery2k@gmail.com

2010 What will it have in Store?

Making Money

One thing that I can truly say is I know I make money. It is evident I see it. As a matter of fact, I have it in case of emergency. What is funny about that is, I couldn't get to it if after 6 and it may be closed due to the holidays, at least it's there. I have had to pay my own mortgages. All three tenats (that includes my moms) have been late since November. What is really going on? One of my tenants is in jail. I deal with his sister. She had the total for November and December and someone broke in her car while at work. If I am not paid by the middle of January I am filing for an eviction. I know the house is a mess. My other tenant now is a grandmom (twice) has had to make some sacrifices to help her daughter. Things tend to happen at the end of the year.

Seeing What I Make

Looking back over the last year. Again, I know that I have money and where it goes. Yes, I did spend out for the holidays, and it was needed. Yes, I buy things I may not need. I do this because I finally have something to show for something. It feels good to know that I can buy this and not have to worry about overdrawing in my account. Now, what I need to do is pay off the Escalade. Due to Christmas and having to pay my own mortgages, I will have this paid off by January 31, 2010. Liam also needs some brakes. I need to call Firestone and find out exactly what is wrong with Liam.

Writing Leads to Reflexation

Looking back over my books. I write from time to time and over the years, I have always wanted the same things. To own property. I think it is the coolest thing ever. When I think about what it will take for me to get on it, I can't see anything straight through. Ok, let's see: Get with Carrie to find out what needs to be done

They don't erase anything

Find out about those 2 loans that should have been in deferment

Keep credit card below 40 %

Pay down MEA

Save money

Pay off Escalade

Have to put 10% down purchasing price

All over the Place, This is Me

I know this is jumping all over the place, stay with me please. Today, I will take my passport photo. This is something that I have been putting off for the past year. What am I doing? Who am I doing it for? Why am I even here? There is a vast world out there waiting to be discovered. Why not travel, there is nothing else to do. I am not getting any younger. Take the time out to enjoy this world in which we were given the opportunity to dwell. For me, 2010 is going to be about awakening, realization, focus, happiness, peace, enjoyment, and overall life. My place is this world, I may not know, but I am going to enjoy every minute that I am here.

New Job How would that Work?

Changing jobs would be wonderful and what is sad is I don't think I can do anything else. What is even worse is that I know I am worth so much more. Then at the same time am I lazy? I feel that going through the interview process is so whatever. I don't know. I don't want to be the classroom teacher forever and I will not. Taking my last class that I haven't participated in in a few days. Need to be doing something toward my Breadth Component. Thinking of my finances tell me that the Escalade will not be paid off until January 2010, I complete year, wow! Lists work for me.

Escalade January 2010

Saved money 1,000

February 3,000

Pay off Wachovia 2255.57

1,000 left over

March-May 6,000

MEA paid off April

US Dept. of Edu 12,000 Maybe I need to call to inquire about length of time of loan

Purchase house with D

Duplexs/ and more

Scattered Get it Together

This is what is going on with me right now. I am all over the place and need to get it together. This tends to be the story of my life. Slow down, mentally and just all over. I love the person that I am and know I can be so much better. I am not the best that I can be. At least I know that and knowing is half the battle. So today, I start anew. Eating right, focusing and what is important and not the spam, doing right by me. I will also post on my other blogs that I haven't said anything in a long time on. So I will deem this day, a day of renewal. It feel good.

Under Pressure

I will not pressure myself, but the time is not slowing down and in order to achieve my goals I my do what is right. Look toward how I can attain multi unit properties, travel, teach, and live my life comfortably. I am somebody that is worthy of having what I want. Seeing myself with what I want, just block out the spam.

12 Investing Mistakes I’ve Made (and How You Can Learn From Them)

Not investing soon enough — I have been working part-time since my first year at college in 1991. If I had known what I know today, I would have invested my money in an IRA from day one. But like many other young adults, I was thrilled to have money and to spend it all on things that I enjoyed — movies, games, electronics, etc. If I had invested just $2,000 per year while I was in college, that $8,000 invested in an S&P 500 index fund would be worth about $36,000 today.
Not knowing the basics— When I finally began investing, my first move was to give my money to a full brokerage firm to invest for me. I didn’t know anything about stocks or mutual funds. I just knew I should invest money to make more money. This was a big mistake since each trade executed by my broker cost a lot of money. Also, the mutual funds they picked weren’t good, and were very expensive.
Chasing past performance — Once I got smart enough to switch to a discount broker, I committed another mistake. I chose mutual funds based on their past performance and Morningstar rating. I picked several loaded / high expense-ratio funds that lagged the general market in the subsequent years.
Experimenting with my IRA — Back then I had tons of ideas. Unfortunately most of my money was in IRA, so I experimented using my retirement money — big mistake! First, money lost in an IRA cannot be replenished. I was allowed to deposit $2,000 per year and that was the limit. Second, I could not claim my losses as tax deductions. Since the IRA was tax-sheltered, the loss was simply a loss. [Learn more about IRAs.]
Not paying attention to expense ratios — Not until recently did I realize how badly expense ratios can affect investment performance. I always thought “it’s only 1%, what’s the difference,” and went for the investment with better performance. I finally ran some numbers and I was shocked to learn that a difference of 1% can lower my investment performance by 25% over the course of 30 years. Instead of ending up with $1 million, for example, I might only have $750,000.
Not paying attention to distributions — This is another number that I did not pay attention to back then. I held some funds in my IRA and some in my regular account. For a couple years, I thought high distribution was really cool because I was making more money. How silly was that? Now I realize that I am paying other people’s taxes when I get mutual fund distributions. Now with my regular account, I invest either in low distribution funds or in ETFs. (Distributions do not affect IRAs.)
Not paying attention to asset allocation — Way back when, my investment was mainly in large-capitalization U.S. stocks and funds. I did not know about asset allocation as a risk management and performance enhancement tool. It wasn’t until 1999 — when I became eligible for a 401k — that I started giving asset allocation serious thought.
Ignoring diversification — Again, with little experience and little money to invest, I was going after high-flying stocks (at least I thought they were) and did not pay any attention to diversification. Like asset allocation, it took me a long time to realize how diversification helps to reduce risk and enhance performance. The value of diversification became apparent to me at about the same time that asset allocation did.
Selling winners and keeping losers — This was my all time weakness. I knew the concept of “buy low and sell high.” So with little experience, I ended up selling a lot of my winners like Staples (SPLS), Ameritrade (AMTD), and Microsoft (MSFT) to lock in the gain; but held on to my losers like Flemings (FLMIQ) and eToys (ETYS).
Cost averaging down — This was another “buy low and sell high” mistake. Not only did I hold on to my losers, I bought more shares in hope of lowering my cost basis and reducing my losses. I did this blindly without additional research to find out why these losing stocks went south.
Investing without a goal — Not until recently did I define a real goal for my investment — among other things, one of my investment goals today is to build a $1 million investment portfolio by 2017. This is my main retirement portfolio. Other goals, which I am still defining, are investing to subsidize my kids’ college expenses and my parent’s retirement expenses. Without a clear goal, I was chasing short-term performance and was prone to act on market swings.
Selling on corrections & buying at the top of the market — These are symptoms of not having a clear goal. Since I was chasing short-term performance with the objective of making more money. I occasionally gave in to my emotion and sold my investments during corrections to protect my gains. Occasionally, I did come out ahead, but most of the time I ended up rushing to reinvest my money as the market invariably rose after these corrections.

Get Rich Slowly. http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2007/09/26/12-investing-mistakes-ive-made-and-how-you-can-learn-from-them/

Do you Know, Because I don't

I have said it before and I will say it again, time keeps moving and it's up to me to make a difference. If you have been following my blog you may realize that I am somewhat scattered from time to time and that is what is going on right now. I don't remember the last time I posted. Well actually, I do remember, but I don't know the date. I am proud of my actions and the things that I have accomplished. Right now at this moment, I don't know whether I am coming or going. I feel that I talk a good game, but I don't actually put it into play. This is why I asked do you know, because I don't. In my mind, I see myself owning 10 properties by the time I am 40 years old which is in the next 6 years. My how time flies. I also thought about quitting my job at the end of the term, but I am not in a financial state to do that. What I have planned is to work another year and save $24,000 by the end of the year. The tax lien that I found out about at the beginning of the year will be paid in full by the end of this year. It is crazy that it has taken an entire year to get this taken care of.

There have been many gains over the last few months and I have been working hard to make it happen. Clarity is what I need right now at this moment in my life. I tried to see about getting a property by February 2010, but my credit score has dropped tremendously. When I inquired about my scores I was told that I can't spend but 40% of my credit card balance. The loan that I took out to pay for school has to be paid down by $2,000. I also have 2 student loans that show up on my credit report, they say that I was behind, but they were in deferment. It seems as if I can't win for losing. Then ontop of all that, I will have to put 3% down on the next home that I purchase.

This is my plan of action:

Pay off the Escalade $4,900

Pay off Wachovia

Save $10,000 pay August 2010

Pass last class

Complete KAM I

Purchase 1 4 bedroom 2 bath

Purchase 1 triplex

In my mind, I am somebody all I have to do is focus and keep the main thing the main thing. See how easy that sends, yet it is so hard to stay focused. Why does the mind tend to move toward the bull? That is where my mind tend to dwell. At this point in my life, I know that I can do and be anything that I want and the time to start is now. Thank you for be a sounding board for me to express myself. To be honest, because of the blog and other experiences I know where my money goes and it has allowed me to save. Thank you again!

10 Years, Where did they Go?

It has finally dawned on me that I have been home for 10 years. Where did the time go? I have been saying all along that blink, I was 24 and blink, I am 34. There have only been a handful of things that I have done for any duration of time. One of being school and another is having a career. I call it that because I have been a life longer learner. In some instances, I wonder if I enjoy the stresses of having to catch up because I am behind on my assignments. Always working on a time schedule and trying to catch up or even get ahead if possible. What will I do without the stresses once I am out of school? Replace that stress with another?

I work daily and make a decent living, but is it all truly worth it? The children have changed and yet they stay the same. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful I have a job, but to get up and go to a place and be confined for eight hours of the day. Man, to some extent that is too much! People bring stress to you for no reason. Do I want to continue to live this way. My job doesn't define who I am. Ten years gone, will another ten go by and wow, I am 44? What will I have accomplished then? Been thinking about my future and what I want to be when I grow up.

There are a few things that must be done soon:
Escalade paid off
Wachovia paid off
MEA paid off

Thinking big things for the future, what is the worst thing that could happen? I want to teach online courses instead of going to a traditional school. That will free me up to do other things that I am interested in. Realized that things I once was interested in, they no longer are important to me. My health, future, and longevity are a few of my main concerns. I am not this typical person and I understand that. It will be like just graduating from college and coming home and looking for a job. Starting over fresh. Save some money and use that cash to purchase a home. Fix it up and rent it out. Wait some time and it should be worth more than I spent on it. Make the money back and a little more.

I just don't want time to keep passing by and I have stood still for twenty years. That can't happen to me, I will not do that to myself. Change is here and I am going to use it to my advantage.